deformed Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious deformed puns

I knew a kid in grade school who was born with deformed eyelids...

...So they took the flesh from his circumcision to fix his deformity. For the rest of his life he was cock-eyed.


Records have revealed that Hitler had a "deformed micropenis"...

A little ironic, since he's universally remembered for being a huge dick.



A newlywed couple on their honeymoon prepares to see each other naked for the first time.

The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet. He explains, "I had tolio as a child."

The wife asks if he means polio. He says, "No, it only affects the toes."

He removes his pants and reveals deformed knees. He admits, "I had kneesles, too."

Finally, he pulls off his boxers. In shock, the woman gasps, "Oh no -- smallcox, too!"


A deformed cat walks into a bar

The bartender says:

"What can I do for you?"

To which the cat immediately replies:

"I'll have a gla-..."



"-ss of your finest milk please!"

And so the bartender places the glass of milk onto the bar table.

To which the cat, from all the way of the other end of the bar table, scoops it up and pulls it over without getting up from his seat.

And the bartender says:

"So I gotta ask"

"Why the long paws?"


Did you hear about the deformed linebacker?

He had 4 sacks.


It may not be politically correct, but I wouldn't ever date someone who was born with deformed feet.

You could say I'm lack-toes intolerant.


A couple on honeymoon in hotel room undressing. The groom removes his socks and the bride asks: "What's wrong with your feet, your toes look all mangled?"

Groom: "I had Tolio as a child."
Bride: "You mean Polio?"
Groom: "No Tolio, the disease only affected my toes."

The groom then removes his pants and the bride asks: "What is wrong with your knees, they are lumpy and deformed?"

Groom: "As a child I had Kneasles."
Bride: "You mean Measles?"
Groom: "No Kneasles, a strange illness that only affected my knees."

The Bride then removes his boxers and the bride asks: "Why are you spotted?"

Groom: "As a child I had smallpox."
Bride: "I hope you don't mean SmallCox!"


An elderly man is getting married to his trophy wife, who refused to sleep with him until they were married.

The night of the wedding the both start undressing at their hotel. When he took his socks off, she saw that his toes were all deformed and bent. She asked "what the hell is that?"
"Tolio" the man replies.
"Don't you mean polio?" asked the women.
"Nope, when it's in your toes its called Tolio".
The man then takes off his pants, exposing his scabbed up and deformed knees. After seeing the look on his new brides face, he says "its called kneesels. It's like measles, but in your knees".
The man then removes his underwear. "Let me guess" says his new wife "Smallcox?"


Bob and Jill (A Poem)

Bob and Jill love each other
Jill is soon to be a mother
They've known each other for a long time
But Jill was distraught when her boy wasn't fine
He came out all deformed
They should have listened when they were warned
Cause they were told when they started lovin
It wouldn't work, because they are cousins


Three pregnant women are knitting baby sweaters.

One says "I hope mine's a girl, because I used pink wool". Another says "I hope mine's a boy, because I used blue". The third woman says "I hope mine's deformed, because I've fucked the arms up"


What has 6 balls and rapes retards?

A deformed criminal.


What do you call a cow with no legs?

A very deformed animal that should be put out of its misery.


A scientist gave birth to a damaged series of papers.

That poor deformed thesis.


What is it called when you're born in space?

Horrifically deformed.


What do you call a kid with a misshapen skull, a cleft palate, a deformed arm, and a limp?

Names. You call him names.


You hear about the lumberjack with the deformed toe ?

Paul Bunion


What are the most funny Deformed jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Deformed? Well, here are the best Deformed dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Deformed pick up lines to share with friends.


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