Playful Definition Of Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.
I said, "Nice legs."
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."
I said "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
After s**... with my new girlfriend last night she snuggled up next to me and said, "You are definitely the biggest I've ever had."
Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.
Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn.
[edit] Thank you for the gold kind stranger.
I decided to kill off some characters in the book I am writing
It would definitely spice up my autobiography.
My wife came home yesterday...
and said, "Honey, the car won't start, but I know what the problem is."
I asked her what it was and she told me it had water in the carburettor. I though for a moment, then said, "You know I don't mean this badly, but you're not mechanically inclined. You don't know the carburettor from the radiator."
"No, there's definitely water in the carburettor," she insisted.
"Ok, honey, that's fine, I'll just go take a look. Where is it?"
"In the lake."
Most of the posts here are medium.
They aren't rare and they are definitely not well done.
You have to give President Trump credit
Because he definitely doesn't have any cash.
How to be insulting
A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?"
The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Any more oxymorons?
* Only choice
* Civil war
* Definite possibility
* Grow smaller
* Random order
* Old news
* True fiction
* Virtual reality
* Working vacation
* Exact estimate
* Original copies
* Pretty ugly
* Fully empty
My wife says the salads I make tend to be a bit on the dry side.
It's definitely something that needs addressing.
A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve
They feel a slight precipitation.
"I think it's raining," says the man.
"No, it's snowing," replies the woman.
"How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!" exclaims the man. "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"
"Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.
The man turns to his wife with a smile. See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.
I definitely learned my lesson about speeding today and it will never happen again.
I didn't get pulled over or anything, I just showed up to work 20 minutes early.
You can explore definition of oxford dictionary reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean definition of verb meaning dad jokes. There are also definition of puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Haven't seen this joke on here yet, it's my favorite.
A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!".
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?".
The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now!".
Two new recruits were on the deck of a ship.
One turns to other and says, "Its awfully quiet on deck tonight. Isn't it?"
Other recruit replies, "Everyone must be watching the band."
"There is no band on this ship."
"No, I definitely heard the captain say, a band on ship."
I'm definitely the loser if I run over a deer. It's going to cost me hundreds of dollars.
But nature is only out a buck.
What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
High definition.
I don't see why in this day and age there aren't marches against fat shaming
Because marches would definitely solve the problem.
I was just looking at my ceiling. I am not sure if it's the best ceiling in the world,
but it's definitely up there.
Did you know penguins scream during s**...?
Maybe not all of them?
But definitely the one I cornered at the zoo.
What's the definition of a will?
Come on guys it's a dead giveaway
Me and my wife recently started using Only Fans.
Because our air conditioner broke.
And this will definitely help pay for a new air conditioner.
An Englishman, Frenchman, and Russian are looking at a painting of Adam and Eve.
"They are so calm and contemplative. They would surely be English." The Englishman says.
"No," the Frenchman says, "they are n**... and beautiful, they would be French."
"My friends," the Russian begins, "no clothes, no shelter, they are sharing an apple between two, they're being watched, and they're told this is paradise. They are definitely Russian."
My girlfriend's dog came running up to us for a cuddle.
"I love you Freddy," she said, s**... his fur.
"I love him more than you," I replied.
She said, "I don't think so, I definitely love him most."
I said, "You misunderstood me."
A couple is walking in Moscow when they feel a slight precipitation
The husband says "ah, it's raining"
The wife replies "no it's snowing"
"How about we ask this communist officer here" replies the husband, "he is always right!,
"Officer Rudolph, Is it raining or snowing?"
"definitely raining" replies Rudolph before walking off
"see?" says the husband,
"Rudolph the red knows rain, dear"
I went to a pub last night and saw a fat girl dancing on a table...
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
What's the difference between a h**..., your girlfriend, and your wife?
When you're having s**... a h**... says "are you done yet?" Your girlfriend says "you're done already?" And your wife says "beige, we should definitely paint the ceiling beige."
My son swallowed several coins the other day.
I've definitely seen some change in him.
What's the definition of trust?
Two gay cannibals giving each other a b**...
If I had a dime for everytime I thought about you...
I would definitely think about you
I couldn't afford a nice television, so I just smoked a ton of w**... and read the dictionary.
High definition.
I've been in jail for only 10 minutes and I have already been r**... and beaten 3 times...
This is definitely the last time I play monopoly with my dad
Did you hear about the unfashionable mechanic?
He needed to change attire.
(I'm probably too proud of myself for making this one; someone's almost definitely done it before.)
Three engineers were discussing who could have been the architect of the human body.
The first said, "It definitely was a Mechanical Engineer, look at all the joints."
The second said, "Nah dude, it was an Electrical Engineer, look at all the electrical connections from the brain."
The third said, "Nope, only a Civil Engineer will run piping carrying sanitation waste right next to a recreational area."
I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I'm writing.
It would definitely spice up my autobiography a little.
Doctor: You're obese. Patient:
***Doctor: You're obese. Patient: Whoa, for that I definitely want a second opinion. Doctor: You're quite ugly, too.***
So a doctor has s**... with one of his patients...
And is feeling pretty down about it. On his left shoulder appears a devil. The devil consoles him saying "Hey man, don't even worry about it. Doctors have s**... with their patients all the time. You are definitely not the only one." Then on his right shoulder appears an angel who says "Come on man! You're a vet!!"
