The Best 62 Definition Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Definition jokes. There are some definition addictionary jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these definition dictionaries puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Definition Jokes and Puns

Panda and a Prostitute

A panda spent the night in bed with a prostitute. The following morning as he is about ready to leave, the prostitute yells after him, "Hey, aren't you going to pay me?"

The panda appears confused, so she throws a dictionary at him and tells him to look up 'prostitute.'

The definition reads: 'A woman who engages in promiscuous sexual activity for pay. '

The panda throws the dictionary back at the prostitute and tells her to look up 'panda.'

The definition reads: 'An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves'

What's the definition of mixed emotions?



When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.

What's the definition of endless love?

Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis

What's the definition of Embarrassing?

Running into a wall with a erection and your nose touches the wall first.

The definition of old...

I admited to an old friend that I was having an affair.

"Is is catered?"


A friend of mine asked if I could give her the definition of a double entendre...

so I gave it to her.

The definition of mixed emotions...

My mother-in-law driving of a cliff in my new car

Definition joke, The definition of mixed emotions...

What do you get when you roll weed on a dictionary?

...High Definition

What's the definition of "trust"?

Two cannibals doing 69.

My girlfriend is like the temperature of a molecule.

Doesn't exist by definition.

What is the ultimate definition of trust?

Two cannibals going down on each other

You can explore definition phrase reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean definition macho dad jokes. There are also definition puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A dilemma

A student asked his english professor, "What is the definition of a dilemma." "The professor said, "well, there's nothing better than an example to illusrate that! "Imagine that you are laying in a bed with a beautiful naked young woman on one side and a gay man on the other." "Who are you going to turn your back on?"

A koala goes to a brothel

So a koala goes to a brothel and does the deed with the prostitute. When they are finished, he gets up and starts to head out the door. The prostitute stops him and says "Hey! The definition of prostitute is we have sex for money!" The koala looks at her and says, "Well the definition of koala is eats bushes and leaves."

What is the definition of a farmer?

Someone who is outstanding in his field.

*hehehe*

Cr

What's the definition of a will?

Come on guys it's a dead giveaway

What do you call a dictionary that smokes weed?

High definition

Definition joke, What do you call a dictionary that smokes weed?

A panda walks into a restaurant

A panda walks into a restaurant and orders one of everything. The panda finishes up his meal and his bill comes the panda stands up and shoots the waiter. The manager comes out of the back and goes you've eaten all my food and shot my staff and wont even pay your bill what's wrong with you? The panda reply's "I'm a panda look me up in the dictionary" The manager goes and gets a dictionary he looks up panda and the definition is "Eats shoots and leaves"

What do you call a dictionary on drugs?

High definition.

The definition of Baroque:

A time when there is no Monet.


Do you know why doctors are prescribing medical marijuana for arthritis?

Because the definition of arthritis is inflammation of the joints

Why did the bodybuilder buy a dictionary?

Because he wanted to get more definition.

A Koala walks into a bar...

So he sits down and after a while of chatting with the barkeep he starts to notice a girl eyeing him from across the bar. So he goes and talks to her and after some flirting they decide to go upstairs

So they go upstairs and get into the 69 position and when its all said and done the koala goes to leave, but the girl says "Hey, where's my money?" Appalled he says "What do you mean?" She replies by telling him to look up the definition of prostitute in the dictionary. He does so and it reads 'One who does sexual acts for money.' He then tells her to look up the definition of koala in the dictionary. She does this and it reads "small, tree dwelling marsupial that eats bush and leaves."

Thank you for telling me the definition of "many".

It means alot.

Anyone can give a definition for erectile dysfunction...

It's not that hard.

What is the definition of stalking?

When two people takes a long, romantic walk on the beach, but only one of them knows about it

It's pretty strange, doctors are now prescribing cannabis for arthritis sufferers...

I mean, the definition of arthritis is "inflammation of the joints"

Definition joke, It's pretty strange, doctors are now prescribing cannabis for arthritis sufferers...

When asked how I view lesbian relationships

In High Definition apparently is not an appropriate answer.

A panda walks into a bar.

He sits down at a table and orders a sandwich. When the waiter brings him his check he pulls out a gun, shoots him and starts walking towards the door.
The bartender shouts over to him "hey, what'd you do that for?"
The panda says "I'm a panda buddy, look it up!"
The bartender quickly looks up the definition and sees:
Panda- Bear from Central and Western China forests with black and white markings. Eats shoots and leaves.

I try working out by lifting dictionaries...

I've been told that's how you get definition.

What's the definition of irony? (This happened to me today)

Asked a transgender co-worker why he won't upgrade from Windows 7 to 10.

He said he didn't like change.

A professor asked one of his automotive students if he knew what the definition of "mixed emotions" was...

The student said "watching your mother-in-law drive off a cliff in your new Cadillac."

Insanity defined

The definition of insanity is when you're cheating at solitaire and a fight breaks out.

What's the definition of trust?

Two gay cannibals giving each other a blow job

Today I was asked how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently "4K ultra high definition" was not the right answer.

My favourite word in the dictionary is toned

Great definition

I got a tattoo of a dictionary on my bisep...

I wanted to add definition to my arm

Look, anything is funny with the right delivery.

Except abortion jokes, which by definition have no delivery.

To those who say "alcohol is not the solution":

Alcohol is a solvent. By definition, it's part of the solution.

I couldn't afford a nice television, so I just smoked a ton of weed and read the dictionary.

High definition.

Huge shoutout to everyone who helped me learn the definition of 'many'.

It means a lot!

I'm grateful to you for teaching me the definition of 'abundance'

It means a lot.

A panda spent the night in bed with a prostitute

The following morning as he is about ready to leave, the prostitute yells after him, "Hey, aren't you going to pay me?"
The panda appears confused, so she throws a dictionary at him and tells him to look up 'prostitute.' The definition reads: 'A woman who engages in promiscuous sexual activity for pay. '
The panda throws the dictionary back at the prostitute and tells her to look up 'panda.'
The definition reads: 'An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves.'

I was certain that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result...

but every dictionary I check says something else.

Dilemma

A male student asked his english professor what is the definition of dilemma? .

The Professor said well there's nothing better than an example to illustrate that

Imagine that you are laying in the middle of a big bed with a beautiful naked young woman on one side, and a gay man on the other, who are you going to turn your back on?

I keep googling what is the definition of insanity to find a joke I heard a while ago...

But I keep getting the same results

For my 3rd wish, I wish for infinite wishes

"Wish granted," says the Genie.

"Really? I thought it was impossible. I wish for infinite riches now." responds the man.

The man waits for a few minutes as nothing happens.

"I thought you said you granted my wish for infinite wishes!"

The Genie smirks and responds "I said I would only GRANT three wishes. You have infinite wishes as you wanted now, except I just won't grant them. You should have looked at the dictionary definition for wish first."

The definition of stupidity is When you have a Land Rover, a Land Cruiser....

But still have a Landlord.....

What is the definition of a Yankee?

Same as a quickie but you do it yourself.

The definition of chutzpah:

Is the man who killed his parents who asks for mercy from the court.
The judge asks On what grounds should we grant you mercy?
Man On the account of I'm an orphan!

This is a very old one.
#yiddish is fun

What would high definition be called if invented in Paris?

The French resolution!

I'll never use that dictionary again...

The definition it gave for "obfuscate" was confusing and misleading.

Definition of laziness

The art of taking rest before getting tired. Because prevention is better than cure.

Teacher: Please provide the ethical definition of copying.

Student:

From one person it's cheating.

From many people it's research.

The definition of trust is

The definition of trust is two cannibals doing 69

Cannibal (definition):

Noun: someone who is fed up with people.

I made up a new word today...

"Plagiarism"

Side note: my son was assigned in class to make up a new word, definition, etc. He turned in "Plagiarism", teacher gave him a smile and full credit.

Also, this joke is totally original and not stolen without attribution.

I can't afford a nice t.v.

So, I just smoke a load of weed and read the dictionary.

HIGH DEFINITION.

People keep saying chivalry is dead. But, I looked up the definition of chivalry and it has little to do with manners and it is more about knights and combat.

The other day when I didn't open the classroom door for a girl in my class, she said that chivalry is dead. So, I challenged her to a duel.

To conclude, chivalry is not dead. But, that girl is.

What's the definition of patience?

Your mom saying goodbye at family parties and/or finding a friend at the mall

What is the difference between a scientist, an engineer and a technician?

The scientist does it the best way.

The engineer does it the way that works.

The technician wonders about their definition of "Best" and "Works"

What's the proper definition of the word 'propaganda' ?

When an Australian person takes a good look at something.

You can joke about anything. You just need the right delivery.

Except abortion jokes, which by definition have no delivery.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the definition definition of suspicious jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working definition definition of paradise piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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