Definite Jokes
26 definite jokes and hilarious definite puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about definite that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Definite Short Jokes
Short definite jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The definite humour may include short defective jokes also.
- Most of the posts here are medium. They aren't rare and they are definitely not well done.
- My wife says the salad I make tend to be a bit on the dry side. It's definitely something that needs addressing.
- I definitely learned my lesson about speeding today and it will never happen again. I didn't get pulled over or anything, I just showed up to work 20 minutes early.
- I'm definitely the loser if I run over a deer. It's going to cost me hundreds of dollars. But nature is only out a buck.
- I was just looking at my ceiling. I am not sure if it's the best ceiling in the world, but it's definitely up there.
- Me and my wife recently started using Only Fans. Because our air conditioner broke.
And this will definitely help pay for a new air conditioner. - Did you hear about the unfashionable mechanic? He needed to change attire.
(I'm probably too proud of myself for making this one; someone's almost definitely done it before.) - Cleaning mirrors for a living might not pay much But it's definitely something I could see myself doing
- Met a girl in the park... Met a girl in the park last night and there was an instant spark between us, a definite connection, she fell at my feet.
These taser guns are well worth the money. - As a Syrian, I don't know why America is taking so long to get a definitive result from their election. We know our results months in advance!
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Definite One Liners
Which definite one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with definite? I can suggest the ones about deficiency and defend.
- You have to give President Trump credit Because he definitely doesn't have any cash.
- What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition.
- What's the definition of a will? Come on guys it's a dead giveaway
- My son swallowed several coins the other day. I've definitely seen some change in him.
- Thank God lent is over.... not using condoms was definitely getting nerve-wracking.
- My girlfriend is like the temperature of a molecule. Doesn't exist by definition.
- I once mistook somebody's drink for mine. It was definitely not my cup of tea.
- Making mirrors sounds like a good job It's definitely something i can see myself doing
- Huge shoutout to everyone who helped me learn the definition of 'many'. It means a lot!
- My favourite word in the dictionary is toned Great definition
- Why did the bodybuilder buy a dictionary? Because he wanted to get more definition.
- (Star Wars) If Finn and Rey hooked up and had a child The child would definitely be on the dark side
- Anyone can give a definition for erectile dysfunction... It's not that hard.
- The Last Jedi was really good Definitely in my top 10 Star Wars movies
- I see no evil, and I definitely don’t hear your evil.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Definite Jokes
What funny jokes about definite you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean definition jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make definite pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After s**... with my new girlfriend last night she snuggled up next to me and said, "You are definitely the biggest I've ever had."
Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.
Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn.
[edit] Thank you for the gold kind stranger.
My wife came home yesterday...
and said, "Honey, the car won't start, but I know what the problem is."
I asked her what it was and she told me it had water in the carburettor. I though for a moment, then said, "You know I don't mean this badly, but you're not mechanically inclined. You don't know the carburettor from the radiator."
"No, there's definitely water in the carburettor," she insisted.
"Ok, honey, that's fine, I'll just go take a look. Where is it?"
"In the lake."
How to be insulting
A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?"
The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Any more oxymorons?
* Only choice
* Civil war
* Definite possibility
* Grow smaller
* Random order
* Old news
* True fiction
* Virtual reality
* Working vacation
* Exact estimate
* Original copies
* Pretty ugly
* Fully empty
A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on christmas Eve
They feel a slight precipitation.
"I think it's raining," says the man.
"No, it's snowing," replies the woman.
"How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!" exclaims the man. "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"
"Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.
The man turns to his wife with a smile. See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.
Haven't seen this joke on here yet, it's my favorite.
A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!".
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?".
The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now!".
Two new recruits were on the deck of a ship.
One turns to other and says, "Its awfully quiet on deck tonight. Isn't it?"
Other recruit replies, "Everyone must be watching the band."
"There is no band on this ship."
"No, I definitely heard the captain say, a band on ship."
