Define Jokes
55 define jokes and hilarious define puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about define that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article seeks to define jokes in terms of their different types, such as corny, cheesy, ornery, self-effacing, coarse, practical, and crude, and discuss how these joke types are used. It also looks at the use of humor in terms of its noun form and how jokes remain undefined in many cases. Additionally, the article will provide an overview of techniques to classify jokes and assess their potential effectiveness.
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Funniest Define Short Jokes
Short define jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The define humour may include short definition jokes also.
- My professor asked me to define narcissism I said "It's the belief you are as perfect and infallible as I am."
- Please refrain from calling an expanded gut on a man Dad Bod … It is more accurately defined as a Father Figure.
- Q: A word that defines "a quick, clever reply to an insult or criticism." Sorry, this was "a riposte".
- Insanity defined The definition of insanity is when you're cheating at solitaire and a fight breaks out.
- What's the difference between a gardener and an electrician? Ask them to define the word bulb .
- I would define my looks as a Victorian Childcatcher. Or an S&M Willy Wonka who likes to use a riding crop on his own leg in his spare time.
- Why did the bodybuilder borrow a dictionary? Because he wanted to know how to define muscle.
- "Edward, I gave you scissors for hands, but don't let that define who you are" Ok. BTW what's my last name?
"Scissorhands" - How do you tell the difference between a math teacher and an English teacher? Ask them to define hyperbolic .
- Following someone around is typically defined as "stalking" At my university, it's defined as "finding a parking space"
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Define One Liners
Which define one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with define? I can suggest the ones about describe and function.
- I'm so grateful to the teacher who defined the word "plethora" for me... It meant a lot.
- If a pizza has a radius "z" and a depth "a" Its volume can be defined by pi* z* z* a
- So what if I can't define armageddon It's not like it's the end of the world!
- On a crucifix…why is Jesus always depicted with well defined abs? CrossFit
- My body is very well-defined. If you look under the word "obese".
- According to chemistry, Alcohol is definately a solution.
- Why is it hard to define feminism? It's a broad topic.
- How do you define political correctness? Carefully.
- I can't define "pattern matching" ...but I know it when I see it.
- Interviewer: What is the one word that defines you? Me: Pronoun
- Yo mama so fat Calculus still ain't been able to define the area under her curves
- My English teacher asked to define money . I responded something you don't have .
- My love for you is like dividing by zero - it cannot be defined.
- Define true love... Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.
- In three words, how would I define myself? By eating less.
Hilarious Fun Define Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about define you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean terms jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make define pranks.
The Great Writer
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.
Socrates on jokes...
Socrates: Define, for me, a punch line.
Hippias: A punch line is at the end of a joke.
Socrates: Is it a punch line simply by virtue of being at the end of said joke?
Hippias: No, it must be an unexpected statement.
Socrates: Ah, but if you know that the punch line is about to arrive, how can it be unexpected?
Hippias: True. Therefore, there can be no punch line to any joke, for such a punch line is always to be expected.
Socrates: Exactly. Last night the exact same logical conclusion was told to me by your mother, while we had i**....
A student goes up to his professor after class...
A student goes up to his professor after class and asks him to define a dilemma. The professor says "I'll do you one better and give you a perfect example. You're laying in bed n**... with a gorgeous n**... g**... the right of you, and a n**... gay guy on your left. Who do you turn your back to?"
A bad math joke I came up with
A little boy sees something way up in the sky and runs to his mom to ask her what it is. She points the boy to his father and tells him to ask him so the boy runs over to his father and asks what is in the sky. The father can't answer either but points the boy to his uncle saying he should be able to help. The boy runs over to his uncle but his uncle doesn't have an answer either and just points the boy back to his mother, the boy then knows what is in the sky.
[Because it takes 3 points to define a plane](/spoiler)
"Complete" or "Finished"?
**Here's your English lesson for the day!**
**"Complete" or "Finished"?**
No dictionary has ever been able to satisfactorily define the difference between "complete" and "finished." However, during a recent linguistic conference, held in London, England, and attended by some of the best linguists in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese linguist, was the presenter when he was asked to make that very distinction.
The question put to him by a colleague in the erudite audience was this: Some say there is no difference between 'complete' and 'finished.' Please explain the difference in a way that is easy to understand.
Mr. Balgobin's response: When you marry the right woman, you are 'complete.' If you marry the wrong woman, you are 'finished.' And, if the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are 'completely finished.'
His answer received a five minute standing ovation.
I can tell when two words go together well to define a new thing.
I call it portmantuition.
Define the lecturer
Teacher to Student: Can you define the lecturer?
Student: A lecturer is person who has bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping.
The job interviewer asked me to define turnover.
I said, "That's what I do before I go to sleep."
One day, at Webster Dictionary's Word Assignment Briefing...
"Nichols," Mr. Lipney, lead word assigner, said, "I'm trusting you to define plethora for next year's edition."
"Thanks Mr. Lipney," Nichols responds, beaming. "It means a lot!"
If I had to define the word "controlling"...
I'd make sure I got my boyfriend's approval of the definition first.
How do you define a bad breakup?
With respect to x.
I'm dyslexic, but that doesn't define me.
Dyslexics are teople p**....
Define contraceptive pill?
It's the second best thing that a women can keep in her mouth to avoid Pregnancy!
There once was a young man who wanted to become a great writer...
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level. Stuff that will make them scream, cry, and howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
A physicist, an engineer and a mathematician are given the task to contain the largest amount of area with a limited amount of fence.
The physicist designs a square fence, showing that a square contains the most area.
The Engineer then designs a circular fence, showing that the area to circumference ratio is better than a square.
The mathematician think for a moment, then starts building a tiny fence around himself. When he's done, he says "I define myself to be the outside.
I've been ridiculed by both sides for not picking an ideology. The very fact that I can't clearly define which way I roll seems to enrages people.
I don't pay attention to how I put the toilet paper on.
Doctor: are you active s**...?
Patient: define active, cause some active volcanoes didn't explode in hundreds of years.
Doctor: I'll write v**....
A very young girl asked her mother to define couple....
And her mother responded: "well, like two or three" and then proceeds to ponder why her marriage didn't last
Define Homophobic
having or showing a dislike of or prejudice against homophones and homonyms
The thing about quotes from the Internet is that it is difficult to define their authenticity.
-Abraham Lincoln, 1933
Baby you make me wish I was good at calculus.
Cauz they ain't no limit to how much I want to define the area under your curves.
Define: Politics
(poli) many (tics) blood-s**... insects
Bra Sazes
Have u ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for? Well its time you became informed!
(A) Almost b**....
(B) Barely there.
(C) Can't Complain!
(D) Dang!
(DD) Double Dang!
(E) Enormous!
(F) Fake.
(G) Get a Reduction.
(H) Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!!!
What's the difference between 'Completed' and 'Finished'?
What's the difference between 'Completed' and 'Finished'?
No dictionary has been able to define the difference between 'Complete' and 'Finished'. But I am here to set the record straight.
When you marry the right woman, you are 'Complete'. If you marry the wrong woman, you are 'Finished'. And when the right woman catches you with the wrong woman, you are 'Completely Finished'
Teacher: You shouldn't use a word to define itself because circular definitions are not useful.
Student: Why is there a giant poster on your wall that says "No Means No"?
Q: How do you define duodenum?
A: It's where s**... starts to get real.
Socrates: Define, for me, a punch line.
Hippias: A punch line is at the end of a joke.
Socrates: Is it a punch line simply by virtue of being at the end of the said joke?
Hippias: No, it must be an unexpected statement.
Socrates: Ah, but if you know that the punch line is about to arrive, how can it be unexpected?
Hippias: True. Therefore, there can be no punch line to any joke, for such a punch line is always to be expected.
Socrates: Exactly. Last night the exact same logical conclusion was told to me by your mother, while we had i**....
