Defensive Jokes

Funniest Defensive Short Jokes

Short defensive jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The defensive humour may include short defence jokes also.

1. PSA do not wear a washington wizards face mask. CDC studies have shown they provide no defense
2. I am absolutely exhausted from my French self-defense class. I've never run so far in my life.
3. The Defense pleads 'Not Guilty by reason of insanity' and loses They go to appeal and plead 'not guilty by reason of insanity' again, expecting a different result.
   They win the appeal.
4. I think I figured out the source of the beef between Kyle Rittenhouse and LeBron James. Kyle has LeBron sorely outclassed in both shooting and defense.
5. My insurance agent asked if I had ever hit a deer. I told him that I had but in my defense he swung first.
6. Where does Sean Connery keep his guns? In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.
7. I want to find a hobby where I can get in peoples way, complain for equality but ignore the law, and get all defensive if anyone attacks my hobby. Hey, check out my new road bike!!
   *
8. I've recently taken up a class in French Self Defense... It's exhausting, I've never ran so far!
9. What's the difference between karate and judo?
   karate is a method of self defense and judo is what bagels are made of.
10. Use these four words correctly in a sentence: deduct, defense, defeat, and detail. Deduct jumped over defense, defeat before detail

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Defensive One Liners

Which defensive one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with defensive? I can suggest the ones about offensive and protective.

1. Why don't cats make good burglars? They can't get past the laser defenses
2. My wife asked why I keep my guns in the library. I said it's for shelf-defense.
3. I lost 15 pounds But in my defense, babies are easy to misplace.
4. I did a self defense course I would't recommend anyone to attack me in slow motion
5. Why was the banana a good prosecutor? She always made the defense slip up on appeal.
6. I became ill after taking self-defense classes... I think I caught Kung Flu.
7. No offense against anyone.... But at least my defense is top tier.
8. Killed some ants in my house today In my defense, they were breaking and antering.
9. Why was the Jewish man so defensive about his beer? Because Hebrewed it.
10. How does a Shelf defend itself? They learn Shelf-Defense.
11. what is the most common syndrome among tower defense players? Tourettes
12. A missile wasn't fired... But someone in civil defense sure will be.
13. Ignorance of the law is not a valid defense… unless you're the president
14. How do you get past defense? You open degate.
15. Author Unknown "A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense."

Defensive Back Jokes

Here is a list of funny defensive back jokes and even better defensive back puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Police are asking the public to be on the look out for a homicidal chiropractor. The Chief reports that the best line of defense is to watch your back.
• Q: If you have a car containing a Oregon Ducks wide receiver a Oregon Ducks linebacker, and a Oregon Ducks defensive back, who is driving the car?
  A: The cop.

Football Defensive Jokes

Here is a list of funny football defensive jokes and even better football defensive puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I wonder how often the defensive line in football makes fun of the other team's quarterback Or maybe that's just too offencive
• How do you know you're playing a Jewish Football team (American Football) On defense, they only run the Dime Formation
• What do you call an incontinent defensive player in American football? A piddle linebacker
• Why does the Dutch football team's defense rock? Because Martins Indi (you'd have be Blind not to notice).
• Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she play offense and defense.

Defensive Driving Jokes

Here is a list of funny defensive driving jokes and even better defensive driving puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I got pulled over drunk driving last night... In my defense I didn't even know I was driving.
• Poland just ordered 6,000 septic tanks The defense minister is reported to have said "Once our soldiers learn how to drive them, our enemies will be in deep s**...."

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Defensive Jokes with Friends.

What funny jokes about defensive you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean defective jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make defensive pranks.