Defensive Jokes

Following is our collection of offense puns and takei one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Defensive jokes for adults, dirty touchdowns jokes and clean interesting defense dad gags for kids.

The Best Defensive Puns

I want to find a hobby where I can get in peoples way, complain for equality but ignore the law, and get all defensive if anyone attacks my hobby.

Hey, check out my new road bike!!


Why was the Jewish man so defensive about his beer?

Because Hebrewed it.

...I wanted to design defensive structures for the city....

as it turns out, not my Forte.

Perry was busy building a defensive palisade around the Musketeer compound, but it was leaning over badly.

Suddenly Porthos spots the enemy and yells 'Attack! Perry, REPOST!'

People always say I'm really "defensive and argumentive"

I say "I know I am"

Russian winter

Russian winter has gone from defensive to offensive. After succesfully defending Russia against Napolen and Hitler, it has now decided to attack USA.

I wonder how often the defensive line in football makes fun of the other team's quarterback

Or maybe that's just too offencive

Well why on Earth do you want to know?!?!!

Do defensive time travellers exist?

A shop that sells fake grass for gardens was robbed...

Afterwards the owner was asked why he was so defensive during the robbery of the fake grass, to which he replied:

Well, it's my home turf.

What do you call an incontinent defensive player in American football?

A piddle linebacker

New Job Opening!

Atlanta Falcons Defensive Coordinator

No experience needed!

When I was younger I was strangled by the umbilical cord.

Mothers are way more defensive over their newborns than I expected.

So I told the other soccer team a really offensive joke

They took it poorly and were defensive the rest of the game

There is an abundance of quarterback jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 13 funniest jokes and defensive puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any globally witze you can hear about defensive.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes