Charming Humor Defense Attorney Jokes with Loads of Fun
Brainless Lawyers
In a m**... trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner:
"Before you signed the death certificate, did you take the pulse, listen to the heart or check for breathing?"
"No."
"So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?"
"Well, the man's brain was in a jar on my desk, but I suppose he could have still been practicing law for a living."
Defense!
In a m**... trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining a pathologist:
Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse? Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you listen to the heart? Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing? Coroner: No.
Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?
Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere!
What do Defense Attorneys and s**... Workers have in common?
They both are paid to get people off.
"I have good news and bad news," a defense attorney told his client....
First the bad news:
The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with that found at the crime scene."
Oh, no!" cried the client. "What's the good news?"
"Your cholesterol is down to 140."
criminal defense attorneys are like w**...
Their only job is to get you off...
As a defense attorney for ED malpractice suits, I had a terrific strategy. . .
but it didn't stand up in court.
Rudy Giuliani is such a bad defense attorney that.....
He would have gotten an innocent WHITE man convicted.
Or you could say,
He would have gotten Brock Turner jail time.
What do you call a lawyer with a black belt in karate?
A self defense attorney!
I won my first case as a defense attorney. My client was mute and accused of m**....
His testimony proved to be a sufficient grunt for dismissal.
What is a defense attorney's favorite k**...?
Getting off on a technicality.
