Defendant Guilty Jokes
13 defendant guilty jokes and hilarious defendant guilty puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about defendant guilty that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Defendant Guilty Short Jokes
Short defendant guilty jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The defendant guilty humour may include short defendant jokes also.
- Judge: "So, Mr Robot. Your neighbour accused you of stealing their electricity to power yourself. How do you pleade?" Robot, the defendant: "Guilty as charged"
- The cross-eyed judge looked at the 3 defendants How do you plead? he asked the first man. Not guilty, said the second. I wasn't talking to you, said the judge. I didn't say a word, said the third.
- Lawyer: Your honour, what if my client is guilty? Cruella: w**...? You are supposed to defend me!
Lawyer: Relax. I'm playing de Vil's advocate. - Court cases in the future. Lawyer: You claim you were at the gym during the m**....
Defendant: That's right.
Lawyer: Yet you didn't post about it on Facebook.
Judge: Wow, GUILTY.
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Amusing Defendant Guilty Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about defendant guilty you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pleading guilty jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make defendant guilty pranks.
A jury finds a man not-guilty in court...
During trial much evidence had been produced that showed the defendant to be guilty.
Upon the jury's decision the prosecutor incredulously asked the judge: "Your honor, on what basis could the jury possibly have acquitted the defendant?!"
The judge replied: "Temporary insanity".
To which the prosecutor exclaimed: "All 12 of them?"
Guilty of Annoyance
A defendant isn't happy with
how things are going in court, so he gives the judge a hard time.
Judge: Where do you work?
Defendant: Here and there.
Judge: What do you do for
a living?
Defendant: This and that.
Judge: Take him away.
Defendant: Wait; when will I get out?
Judge: Sooner or later.
A man is on trial for armed robbery...
The jury comes back with the verdict. The foreman stands, clear his t**... and announces, Not guilty. The defendant leaps to his feet. Awesome! he shouts. Does that mean I get to keep the money?
*A man is trying to prove his innocence in court*
Defendant: "Please your honour, I don't have a single bad bone in my body"
Prosecutor: "Well according to your medical exam it appears you have osteoporosis"
Judge: "Guilty"
A man and his lawyer walk into the courtroom and stand before the judge.
The judge asks "What does the defendant plea?"
The lawyer replies "Your honor, my client pleads trans-guilty."
The judge has a puzzled look on his face.
Lawyer: "He identifies himself as an innocent man."
A man is murdered in a dessert factory.
The defendant is clearly guilty, but the investigators struggle to find the m**... weapon to properly incriminate him. Where could it possibly have been hidden? The lead investigator is at a loss, when one day he suddenly jumps from his desk as it comes to him.
The proof is in the pudding!
One day in the courtroom...
One day in the courtroom, there was a very big and intense court case going on. Mr. Larius was being charged with the first degree m**... of his wife. He had plead not guilty.
During the court case, the prosecution called up a witness to the stand. During the examination, they asked, "Did you see the m**...?" and the witness said, "Yes! I certainly did!"
Then the prosecution asked, "Do you know who did it?" and the witness said, "Yes! I certainly do!"
Then the prosecution asked, "If he is in the courtroom, may you please point him out?" and so the witness pointed to the defendant and cried out, "It was HE! LARIUS!"
"HE LARIUS"
Open and Shut
A man's wife disappears and he's accused of killing her. At the trial, his lawyer tells the jury, Ladies and gentlemen, I have amazing news. Not only is my client's wife actually alive, but she'll walk through that door in ten seconds."
An expectant silence settles over the courtroom, but nothing happens.
Think about that, the lawyer says. The fact that you were watching the door, expecting to see the missing woman, proves that you have a reasonable doubt as to whether a m**... was actually committed.
He sits down confidently, and the judge sends the jury off to deliberate. They return in ten minutes and declare the man guilty.
Guilty? says the lawyer. How can that be? You were all watching the door!
Most of us were watching the door, says the foreman. But one of us was watching the defendant, and he wasn't watching the door.
A defendant was on trial for m**... in Philadelphia.
There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse.
In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch.
"Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom."
He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly.
A minute passed.
Nothing happened.
Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."
The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate.
A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.
"But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door."
Answered the jury foreman: "Oh, we did look. But your client didn’t."