Following is our collection of infidelity puns and defend one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Defence jokes for adults, dirty courtroom jokes and clean dani dad gags for kids.
That's not a very good defence Mr Weinstein.
According to her, she is sick of me talking behind her back and pushing her around.
In my defence, she's in a wheelchair.
"What do you want to be in the army?"
"Pilot!"
And they sent him to preparatory courses, but they did not like him and told him he would never become a pilot.
So he went to the committee again.
"Where do you want to be in the army?"
"Air defence!"
"Why?"
"If I can't be a pilot, no one else can!"
In my defence Schindler's list was a long film
But in my defence, I use a pretty big onion.
I tell you what, the next person who attacks me in slow motion has a thing or two coming.
Defence against the Dark Thoughts.
In my defence I didn't even know she sold flowers.
In my defence I got Kolarov,Otamendi,Thiago Silva and Dani Alves
I don't know why hedgehogs think that rolling into a ball is a good defence mechanism.
I wasn't going to kick it before.
Because he spent all his money on defence.
(
I'm absolutely exhausted. I've never run so much in my life.
Defence
Because of the overflow errors!
She said:
"What did you do this time?"
In my defence I replied:
"I swear I didn't do anything"
"That's not a very good defence OJ"
I guess they have a lot of fences that require removal.
They play with a rock solid defence, midfield and attack, and have Neymar rolling around on the ground.
In my defence we were just kids, and there was an awful lot of alcohol at her funeral.
An professor from Cambridge and a Dubliner walk into a bar. The professor says to the Dubliner "If you can put the words defeat, defence and detail into one sentence I will buy you the finest beer you could ever ask for" so the Dub replies "De horse jumped ova da fence da feat came first and da tail came last"
Just defence rifles
So when I saw him in Walmart the next day I threw a can of beans at his head.
The offence and defence don't play
US army to Osama : What do you want to say in your defence ?
Osama : I am not guilty for 9/11, Pilot was inexperienced.
They say it was self defence.
Sweden's defence against England
...it's not my fault his defence was lousy
I've never run so much in my whole life.
In my defence, I have J.J.Watt, Michael Bennett, and Richard Sherman.
Spending lots of money on their defence.
If elected President, what will Dr. Ben Carson's first executive action be?
Nominate Donald Trump as as a candidate for Secretary of "De-Fence"
I'm writing a rebuttal for a coming inter-class debate and planning to use Manchester United's defence as an analogy, but my teacher says it doesn't even stand a chance.
I'm now confused...
There is an abundance of honour jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 32 funniest jokes and defence puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any trial witze you can hear about defence.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.