Defective Jokes
42 defective jokes and hilarious defective puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about defective that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Defective Short Jokes
Short defective jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The defective humour may include short deficiency jokes also.
- I came across a great movie about a semi-truck with a defective refrigeration unit that had to deliver a large shipment of meat. Unfortunately, the trailer spoiled it.
- TIL the company Tampax donates their slightly defective tampons to women's prisons No strings attached
- I ordered a pair of sneakers from an online shopping site and found it to be defective. Is that an e-shoe?
- I'm the leader of a group of shoddy private investigators. I'm a directive defective detective.
- Getting back together with your ex is like rebuying your own old car... ...same defects and more kilometers on board.
- There was once a psych researcher with a rare genetic defect that gave her four buttocks. She was fired for being bi-assed.
- What do you call a dwarf with a birth defect, is broke and can't drink milk? Lack toes and tall or rent
- What do Marie Curies Notebooks and a defected KGB agent have in common? They both won't be investigated very closely.
- What did Nintendo do when they found out their consoles had a defect? They issued a wii-call
- A Customer bought a parachute from me I realised after selling it that it was defective.
He hasn't come back to return it.
I wonder if he has jumped to a conclusion of not coming back.
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Defective One Liners
Which defective one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with defective? I can suggest the ones about deflated and definite.
- What do you call a defective dishwasher? A feminist
- What do you call a Private Investigator who is bad at his job? A Defective!
- Why did the North Korean defect to South Korea? He did some seoul searching.
- My mac has a factory defect. I've been using for 3 years and it still works.
- How bad was the Rio 2016 Olympic? None of the North Korean athletes defected.
- What do you call a broken police officer? Defective
- What section would a defective cabinet look for in a library? Shelf help
- What's the name of the Pokémon that causes birth defects? Zikachu
- Where do the Japanese store defective mannequin feet? In bent-toe boxes.
- What does a statistician call a defective butter substitute? A margarine of error!
- Did you hear the one about the defective knife? He couldn't cut it.
- My irony detector is defective. It detects everything except irony.
- An infamous sleuth gets half of his deduction wrong. He was a Defective.
- What do you call a Chinese Transformer? defective
- What do you call a patent for a defective human?
Unearthly Funniest Defective Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about defective you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean defendant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make defective pranks.
Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it
I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
A Russian goes to a watchmaker.
He says, "My clock is defective. It only goes 'tic...tic...tic...tic...' unlike the others, which go 'tic...toc...tic...toc...'."
"No problem", says the watchmaker, taking the clock from its owner.
He then shines a light in the clock's face and says menacingly, "We have ways to make it toc."
I searched Reddit and this joke hasn't been posted.
USPS came out with a Donald Trump stamp. They were Yugely popular at first, but suddenly went out of circulation, because they wont stick to the envelopes.
This enraged the president, and he demanded a full investigation, blamed the democrats and JINA and the lame-stream media.
After months of testing, costing $2.65 billion in congressional spending and firing of 25+ people, the special prosecutor appointed by Trump presented the following findings.
* The stamps have no manufacturing defects.
* There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.
* People are spitting on the wrong side of the stamp.
Two Parachutists
Two parachutists jumped out of a plane, they had headsets on so they could talk to each other on the way down.
One man's parachute opened, the other one's didn't.
The guy with the defective c**... was falling fast but appeared to be slowly and very calmly trying to figure out the issue. Appeared to be in no rush.
The other guy with the good c**... said Hey, you look so calm and collected. Why are you taking your time? Why aren't you panicking?
The guy with the unopened c**... said Hey, why should I rush? I've got the rest of my life to figure it out .
A parachutist is plummeting to Earth
Because her ripcord malfunctioned.
As she frantically pulls at the defective cord, she passes a man atop a stove traveling the opposite way.
She yells out to him, Hey, do you know how to fix a parachute!?
He replies back No! Do you know anything about repairing gas lines??
I was fired from work at school...
So, due to a minor defect at birth, I was born with Strabismus, and up until last Friday, I was happy performing my duties as a teacher.
Unfortunately, I was fired. My boss told me he couldn't have a teacher in his school that couldn't control his pupils.
Two blondes trying to light a match
After few failed attempts, the first one turned to her friend and said: maybe this match is defective
to which the first one replied: it was just working before you came
A blonde and her friend...
Are recently hired putting up siding on a house. They're working on opposite sides so the first one goes to check on the second. She watches as she pulls a nail from her bag, lookas at it, and throws it away. She hollers up and asks what that was about. The second blonde says some of the nails are defective. The point is facing the wrong way so she throws those out. The first blonde says, " You idiot! They aren't defective, they're for the other side of the house "
A man had a rare birth defect where both his eyes were on the side of his head. Despite this he found love, but she soon dumped him.
When asked why she left him she said "he couldnt stop seeing other women on the side"
What do you call a firm yet defective b**...?
asphalt
Medical science has come a long way.
There's a tribe in Africa whose exposure to chemical runoff in the water from local mines created birth defects. One out of every three children are born with no eyelids. Volunteer doctors created a procedure where they take the f**... from new born males and create eyelids for those born without them. The procedure has been highly successful, although the children do look a little cockeyed.
A couple not-so-bright carpenters are framing a house.
Worker A notices worker B is wasting a lot of nails. He'll pull one out, hammer it in, pull another and toss it, toss another, then hammer one in. And this goes on for a bit.
Worker A says to worker B, hey, how come you keep tossing dem nails?
Worker B responds, they're defective; they got da point on the wrong end!
Worker A says, you idiot, those are for the other side of the house!
The U.S. postal services came out with a new Donald Trump stamp. Although they received many complaints that they were defective!
After polling the public on how the stamp is defective, they figured out nothing was wrong with the stamp at all!
The americans were just not spitting on the right side!
