Defective Jokes

Following is our collection of shred puns and deduction one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Defective jokes for adults, dirty glitch jokes and clean dysfunctional dad gags for kids.

The Best Defective Puns

A Russian goes to a watchmaker.

He says, "My clock is defective. It only goes 'tic...tic...tic...tic...' unlike the others, which go 'tic...toc...tic...toc...'."
"No problem", says the watchmaker, taking the clock from its owner.
He then shines a light in the clock's face and says menacingly, "We have ways to make it toc."

I came across a great movie about a semi-truck with a defective refrigeration unit that had to deliver a large shipment of meat.

Unfortunately, the trailer spoiled it.

A parachutist is plummeting to Earth

Because her ripcord malfunctioned.

As she frantically pulls at the defective cord, she passes a man atop a stove traveling the opposite way.

She yells out to him, Hey, do you know how to fix a parachute!?

He replies back No! Do you know anything about repairing gas lines??

What do you call a defective dishwasher?

A feminist

What do you call a Private Investigator who is bad at his job?

A Defective!


Two blondes trying to light a match

After few failed attempts, the first one turned to her friend and said: maybe this match is defective
to which the first one replied: it was just working before you came

A blonde and her friend...

Are recently hired putting up siding on a house. They're working on opposite sides so the first one goes to check on the second. She watches as she pulls a nail from her bag, lookas at it, and throws it away. She hollers up and asks what that was about. The second blonde says some of the nails are defective. The point is facing the wrong way so she throws those out. The first blonde says, " You idiot! They aren't defective, they're for the other side of the house "

What do you call a broken police officer?

Defective

I ordered a pair of sneakers from an online shopping site and found it to be defective.

Is that an e-shoe?

What section would a defective cabinet look for in a library?

Shelf help

I'm the leader of a group of shoddy private investigators.

I'm a directive defective detective.


The U.S. postal services came out with a new Donald Trump stamp. Although they received many complaints that they were defective!

After polling the public on how the stamp is defective, they figured out nothing was wrong with the stamp at all!

The americans were just not spitting on the right side!

Where do the Japanese store defective mannequin feet?

In bent-toe boxes.

What does a statistician call a defective butter substitute?

A margarine of error!

Did you hear the one about the defective knife?

He couldn't cut it.

A Customer bought a parachute from me

I realised after selling it that it was defective.

He hasn't come back to return it.

I wonder if he has jumped to a conclusion of not coming back.

An American factory orders a shipment of a certain part from a Japanese factory.

They write a letter to warn their partners "Be aware of our strict standards, we only accept 3 defective parts per 10 000".

The Japanese reply: "We don't quite understand what do you need them for, but as per request, we manufactured three defective parts and attach them separately hereby"

My irony detector is defective.

It detects everything except irony.

I got one of those digital assistant things for Christmas, but I think it's defective

It refuses to open the pod bay doors.


I thought I'd invented a new type of soap, but it was defective.

I guess I'll need a new solution.

An infamous sleuth gets half of his deduction wrong.

He was a Defective.

My buddy said I shouldn't get mad because my can of WD-40 has a defective nozzle…

...but I told him, This stuff is indispensable!

I bought a defective pack of playing cards. It had only three suits and all the cards were jacks.

I'm still trying to get a refund from those heartless bastards.

What do you call a Chinese Transformer?

defective

What do you call a patent for a defective human?

Did you hear about the comedian who gave an old lady a defective piece of cooking equipment?

He's known for his deadpan delivery.

Hearing people talk about how amazing dads are and how their dad would do anything for them has always made me feel weird.

I must have received a defective model.

My father just called me super defective!

anyone care to be Watson?

There is an abundance of kaleidoscope jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 28 funniest jokes and defective puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any cord witze you can hear about defective.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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