Deere Jokes

Following is our collection of divorce puns and office one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Deere jokes for adults, dirty excavator jokes and clean park dad gags for kids.

The Best Deere Puns

A farmer walked into an attorneys office...



A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, May I help you?

The farmer said, Yeah. I want to get one of those dee-vorces.

The attorney asked, Well, do you have any grounds?

The farmer replied, Yeah. I got about 140 acres.

The attorney said, No, you don't understand. Do you have a case?

The farmer said, No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere.

The attorney said, No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?

The farmer said, Yeah, I got a grudge. That's where I park my John Deere.

The attorney said, No, sir, I mean do you have a suit?

The farmer said, Yessir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays.

The exasperated attorney said, Well, sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?

The farmer said, No, sir, we both get up about 4:30.

Finally, the attorney asked, Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?

And the farmer replied, Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her!

How do you break up with a farmer long-distance?

A John Deere letter.

Regarding the SCOTUS approval of gay marriage, Iowa representative Steve King has just said (and this is a real quote) "you could marry your your lawnmower with this decision".

Marrying your lawnmower is fine, but when it comes time to leave, writing that John Deere letter is the toughest part.

Bubba and Earl

Earl walks into Bubba's barn and finds Bubba dancing naked in front of his John Deere. Earl says "Bubba what are you doin' "

Bubba says "Me and the wife haven't been doin so good in the bedroom lately and the therapist said I should do something sexy to a tractor"

What type of math does John Deere do?

Prime tractorization


The farmer's wife just ran off with a farm equipment salesman.

She wrote him a John Deere letter.

I just got fired from a landscaping business by mail.

They sent me a John Deere letter.

Surprisingly John Deere wasn't a country music fan...

He preferred Mowtown...

Did you hear about the farmer who's wife left him?

She left him a "John Deere" letter

I used to love John Deere and Massey Ferguson...

but now I'm an ex-tractor fan.

Breaking Up

Did you hear about the farm equipment salesman whose wife wrote him a John Deere letter?


There is an abundance of case jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 11 funniest jokes and deere puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any lawnmower witze you can hear about deere.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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