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Deep Dive Jokes

23 deep dive jokes and hilarious deep dive puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about deep dive that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Deep Dive Short Jokes

Short deep dive jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The deep dive humour may include short going deep jokes also.

  1. I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor the first day at work. Deep down.., I realized it wasn't for me.
  2. My friend keeps obnoxiously bragging that he broke my record for deep sea diving. That's a new low.
  3. My son asked me, "Is this pool safe for diving?" I chuckled and replied... "It deep ends!"
  4. People are always asking me 'how deep can a submarine dive'... And I always answer 'all the way to the ocean floor'.
    The trick really is coming back up again.
  5. While deep-sea diving I was strangled by an octopus The whole experience was rather breathtaking.

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Deep Dive One Liners

Which deep dive one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with deep dive? I can suggest the ones about dive and deep.

  1. Deep down... ...I knew scuba diving wasn't for me.
  2. How do you know a swimming pool is safe for diving It deep ends.
  3. My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving! This is a new low...
  4. Is this pool safe for diving? It deep ends.
  5. What don't you want to see when you're deep sea diving? Adele, rolling in the deep!

Deep Dive Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about deep dive you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean deep sea jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make deep dive pranks.

DIVING WITHOUT EQUIPMENT

Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear.
The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him.
The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?"
The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you m**...!"

Harry is taking a stroll through the woods....

...when he finds a large hole in the ground. The hole seems ridiculously deep, so Harry takes a small rock and throws it down the hole. Then he listens for the sound of the rock hitting the ground below. He doesn't hear anything, so next he tries a larger rock. Still, no sound. He looks around for something larger, and he finds an old railroad tie. He lifts up the railroad tie and chucks it down the hole. Still no sound.
Then out of NOWHERE, Harry sees a goat charging at him full speed from behind. Harry dives out of the way, then watches as the goat charges strait down the hole.
Harry is sitting there, perplexed, when a farmer approaches Harry and asks
Farmer: "Hey son, you haven't seen a goat around here have you?"
Harry: "Actually, Yes I did! It was the strangest thing, a goat just charged me full speed! I was just able to get out of the way. THEN the goat ran strait down that hole over there" as Harry points to the hole.
Farmer: "That's impossible, I tied that goat to a railroad tie"

Diving

One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he was not wearing a scuba gear.
The diver went below another 20 ft but the guy joined him a few minutes later.
The diver went below 25 ft, but minutes later, the same guy joined him.
This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalk-and-board set, and wrote, "How the h**... are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"
The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'M DROWNING s**...".

Did you hear that Adelle started a campaign to raise awareness for sea life by reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone while scuba diving 60 ft under the water.

They called it "Rowling in the Deep"

Three gurus on top of a mountain sit in meditation.

One of them opens his eyes and whispers "Life...", then closes his eyes and keeps on meditating.
Seasons come and go, twenty years pass, then the second guru opens his eyes and whispers "...is suffering...". Then stops suddenly and dives deep into meditation again.
After another twenty years of meditation the third guru opens his eyes and says "C'mon guys, are we here for chitchat????"

So two whales are swimming along...

... when they spot a whaling ship. The first whale, in shock, says, "Hey! That's that ship that attacked our pod last year. We should sink it. We'll dive deep under the boat and blow bubbles up. The bubbles will capsize the boat and they'll sink!"
The second whale agrees and they begin their attack on the unsuspecting boat. The two whales take enormous breaths and dive deep under the boat. They blow all the air out their blowholes and the bubbles race toward the surface. When the two whales come up they see the boat is capsized and sinking and several sailors are in the water.
"Oh man!" says the first whale. "We got 'em. Look, they're all swimming in the water. Now we can eat them!"
The second whale, taken aback, then says, "Sorry man, I'll help with the b**..., but I won't s**... s**...."

Two hunters and a hole

Two guys are hunting, o**... says "Whoa, big hole. How deep is that?"
Other guy says "Let's throw something in the hole and see."
They see a rusty old anvil and drag it to the hole, throw it in and hear no sound of it hitting the bottom. Suddenly they hear something galloping and a goat is coming at them at a blistering speed, almost knocking them down as it flies past the two and dives into the hole.
"Becky? Becky!!" Yells a farmer running toward them. He stops near the two hunters and asks them "You guys seen a goat?"
"Yes, we did! A goat ran by us about 80 miles an hour down into that hole!"
"That's impossible," says the farmer. "I had him chained to an anvil."
(Have heard versions in the past, this one is told by Jay Leno on his recent Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee episode, S03E03.)

John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital.
One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool.
David jumped in and saved him, and the medical director came to know of his heroic act.
He immediately order David to be discharged from the mental hospital as he is OK.
Doctor: "We have good news and bad news for you, David. The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses, since you are able to jump in and save another patient you are now a normal person. The bad news is that, the patient Mr. John, whom you have saved, hung himself in the toilet, and died."
David: "Doctor, he didn’t hang himself. I hung him there to dry."