Deeds Womanly Jokes
9 deeds womanly jokes and hilarious deeds womanly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about deeds womanly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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What is a good deeds womanly joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
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Wishes
A woman was walking on the beach when she spotted a lamp almost buried in the sand. She picked it up, dusted it off, and to her surprise a genie popped out.
"Thank you for releasing me from my thousand-year imprisonment! I will grant you the traditional three wishes as a reward. And since you are married, your husband will get double of whatever you wish for."
"But I hate my husband," the woman protested. "He cheated on me and spent all our money -- I've already filed for divorce."
The genie shrugged and told her it was genie law. "OK, whatever," she said, "Give me a hundred million dollars." *p**...!* There were stacks and stacks of newly minted $100 bills piled in front of her. "So, does that mean my husband has *two* hundred million now?"
"Yep," the genie said.
"OK... for my second wish, I want a 100,000 square foot mansion." *p**...!* There was a huge mansion right up on the bluff, and the deed was in her pocket. "So, does that mean my husband gets *two* mansions?"
"Yes indeed. Now, what would you like for your final wish?"
She thought about it for a minute, then snapped her fingers and said, "Genie -- scare me half to death!"
A guy gets stranded on a deserted island with only a goat for company...
After a few months, the goat starts looking a bit enticing. Finally the guy sneaks up behind the goat. As he's about to do the deed, the goat walks off. This goes on for a few months.
One day the guy wakes up to find a beautiful young woman half-drowned in the waves off the island. He rescues her. She's so glad to be alive she says, "I'll do anything for you". The guy thinks for a minute and says, "ANYthing?" She replies, "Yep, Ill do ANYTHING".
So the guy says, "Great, can you hold on to this goat for a minute?"
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An elderly woman asked a young man if he wanted to try 69.
Out of curiosity, he agreed.
Whilst they were doing the deed, she accidentally f**.... Embarrassed, she apologised, and they continued.
The same thing happened a short while later, and the woman apologised again, to which the young man replied:
"No can do lady, I ain't gonna wait for the other 67!"
A Carnival worker and a woman get married
The couple, being good Christians never have relations until their wedding night. As the woman ends up finally seeing the Carney's room, notices that he has shelves and shelves of stuffed animals.
They finally do the deed. As they are laying there exasperated, she, panting, asks her husband So how was it? He replied You may have any animal off of the 2 shelf.
There once was a not very bright girl with a bright body.
Everybody knew she was the best looking girl in their small town
One day a man came knocking at her door, she let him in and he woo'd her (seduced)
They did the deed and the man said "now I'm the only one with one of those so don't go looking for any more from no one else"
The woman being of sub-avarage intelligence agreed
But one day the postman came to the door and woo'd get and did the deed
The woman called the other man and asked, "if your the only one with one of those then why does the postman have one?" the man, flustered said "well I gave some of mine to him!"
The woman then asked, "then why did you give him the bigger one?"
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So this guy is stranded on an island with a goat and a dog.
Days pass.. then weeks... then months... and years pass with no human contact. He starts to crave the urge to have s**....
So he looks around and sees the goat. Comes up with the idea to have s**... with it. He positions her right and is ready for some action. But just as he is about to pull his pants down, he sees the dog just staring at him. Uncomfortable, he decides to try again the next day.
Next day comes and he guides the goat to a hill side where he would like to do his deed. Just as he's about to pull his pants down, out of nowhere, he sees the dog staring at him. He gives up again.
A few days go by and he sees a boat sinking offshore. He hears this women screaming for help. He swims to her rescue and the woman is grateful to him.
Thanking him she says, "Can I do anything to repay you."
He replies, "Anything?"
"Yes, anything." she answers.
So then he asks, "Okay. Can you take the dog out for a walk?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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A man is speaking with Saint Peter at the gates of Heaven.
Saint Peter asks him if he has done any good deeds in his time on Earth to merit entry into paradise.
Thinking for a moment, he says, "I was once in a bar in Arizona. I noticed a beautiful woman sitting alone, but before I could introduce myself a bunch of h**...'s Angels stormed in and started wrecking the place. Then they scooped the woman off of her bar stool and started throwing her around and terrorizing all of the other guys there."
Saint Peter asks, "And what did you do?"
"Well, first I went outside and kicked their motorcycles over, then I went back in and found the biggest, ugliest, meanest one of them I could. Slapped him in the face, then snatched one of his earrings out and said, 'Listen up. Either you and your friends clear out of here and leave that woman alone or you're going to have to deal with me'."
Clearly impressed, Saint Peter asks, "When did this happen?"
"About five minutes ago."
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A Man and a woman met on top of a building.
Man: I just discovered that my wife is having an affair.
Woman: I caught my husband in bed with another woman.
Man: How about lets have s**... together to get back at them?
Woman: Nice idea
Then they made passionate love.afterwards...
Woman: lets get back at them again!
They made love again for the second time.
Woman: Lets get back at them again!
They done the deed again and again to get back at their spouses. Then after the fifth time ...
Woman: Lets get back at them again!
Man: (looking very exhausted) I think we should forgive them already.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three Christian boys live in a church.
One day the boys say, "Pastor! Pastor! We have done no bad deed." The pastor replies, "Very good. Now each of you are granted one bad deed." One boy comes back and says, "Pastor! Pastor! I broke a car window." The pastor tells him, "Go to the back, pray, and drink some holy water." The second boy comes back saying, "Pastor! Pastor! I punched a woman in the face." The pastor replies, "Go to the back, pray, and drink some holy water." The third boy comes in and says, "Pastor! Pastor! I peed in the holy water!"
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