Dedicated Jokes

The local ice cream shop has introduced a new mixed fruit flavour of ice cream dedicated to the president of the United States

They call it the Im-peached orange.
They say it is good, perhaps the greatest in the history of mixed fruit ice creams.

The Titanic and mayonnaise

What a lot of people don't know about the Titanic was that it was carrying a large shipment of mayonnaise to Mexico. In fact, the Mexican people were overjoyed to be receiving this fine delicacy.
Sadly, as we all know, the Titanic tragically sank, sending its many tons of mayonnaise to the bottom of the ocean. The Mexican people were saddened by this event, and dedicated an annual event to the remembrance of the mayonnaise
We call it Cinco de Mayo

In honor of Leif Erikson Day...

Leif Erikson returned to his village after many years sailing the ocean and discovering new lands. When he arrived home, he noticed his name was no longer in the town records. Puzzled, he visited the census-taker to inquire about the error.
"I've been a dedicated member of this community for many years. Why am I not on the town list?" he asked.
"I'm sorry about the mistake, Mr. Erikson," replied the clerk, "I must've taken Leif off my census!"

Picabo Street is a former World Cup alpine ski racer and model. When she was inducted into the National Ski Hall of Fame in 2004, her home town of Triumph, Idaho dedicated an entire wing of the local hospital to her.

It's called the Picabo ICU.

A man with amazing sideburns

A man has amazing side burns and decides that he wants to go to college for sideburn grooming. He dedicates his whole life to this purpose, getting his bachelor's, master's, and doctorate's degrees after many years. In other words, he has third degree burns.

The best part about Ray Lewis being on ESPN is..

I can hear a guy with six kids by four different women lecture me about commitment & dedication.

What is born skinless, flies wingless and sings until it dies?

A f**....
*dedicated to my dear departed Grandfather who told me this joke almost 40 years ago when I was a kid.*

I'm going to start a foundation dedicated to helping people with obsessive behaviour.

And call it Obsessive Disorders Control.

I should make a monument in my yard dedicated to the guy who killed h**....

After years of hard work and dedication, I can finally say that I have that s**... body I've always wanted.

It's in my freezer.

One day when I was young......

I watched my father grill burgers. When they were done, he handed me one, telling me it was a Bison burger. He then left.....never came back......I know he may not have been dedicated to his family, but he was dedicated to his jokes.

How many days off does a women get who has dedicated her life to working for the lord?

Nun!

Sen. Franklin R. Lee of Idaho was instrumental in obtaining a 100-megawatt hydroelectric plant...

.. on the Givva River for the benefit of his hometown, Medea. When the plant was finished, the dedication plaque read:
> Frank Lee, Medea, Idaho, Givva Dam

A group of monks have an encounter with the almighty while tending their flower garden.

The experience so transforms them that they decide to form a new order, with a monastery, dedicated to growing flowers as a form of worship. Two years into the venture they realize that they are running out of funds and decide to begin selling some of their flowers as a way to raise funds to support their ministry and their way of life. Unfortunately a sheep from a nearby farm wandered into the monastery and quickly consumed all of their prize flowers.
It turns out only a ewe can prevent florist friars.

I've dedicated my life to find my wife's m**....

If you can recommend someone, let me know.

A little late to the party here, but for my New Year's resolution, I decided to dedicate more time to my step machine.

I never knew my real machine. 😢

What was the very last thing the dedicated German therapist told his patients on the Titanic?

"Sink Positively!"

I grew up on McDonalds, and it still holds a special place in my heart.

I've even got a plaque dedicated to it.

I met a lovely, helpful person the other day

They were always asking about me, wanting to get to know me better. They seemed genuinely helpful and were there when i needed them most. They dedicated their time to me and didn't even ask for anything in return. I decided to take the plunge and kiss them!
Anyway, i need a new public defender.

I study different religions. Through dedicated research, I found one similarity that the Bible, Quran, Torah, and even the Book of m**... all share.

They are all equally flammable.

did you hear about the mathematics w**... who was afraid of negative numbers?

his phobia was so bad that he will stop at nothing to avoid them.
dedicated to my special friend blader2601.

For all of his faults, h**... was noteworthy as a dedicated artist.

In fact, the last thing he did before he died was paint the wall of his bunker.

I've heard that 'obsessed' is a word lazy people use to describe 'dedication.'

But I would never call my wife lazy.

A joke from one of my friends who's an airline pilot

So he often says, right before take off "Ladies and gentlemen I'd like to thank you for choosing Jet Blue and would also like to thank the wonderful flight attendants for their professionalism and dedication to trying to make your flight as safe and comfortable as possible. However, you won't find any of those people on this flight. So sit back and please fasten your seat belts as we will shortly begin our ascent"

After many faithful years as a Christian, John's dedication finally paid off as he found himself the girl of his dreams.

At the wedding he walks over to his best friend for advice.
"Hey man! What is it that I'm supposed to do when I get her all alone after the wedding?"
"Ah, that's simple. You just take your most prized-possession and stick it in where she pees."
"Ah! Thanks dude!"
"No problem!"
Later that night, John took his bowling ball and put it in the toilet.

My English teacher asked me what I knew about syntax.

"I never knew part of my earnings were dedicated to wrongdoings."

Still my funniest joke

A man is hosting a radio program and he wants to call a random person to ask for their favourite song in order to play it on the radio. So the random guy says " well I just want to say that I found a person's wallet on the street" and the host tells him " well do you want to share the owner's name so we can return the wallet?" And the random guy responds " no I just want to dedicate him a song" (sorry for my English I'm Spanish) :)

I am a proud anti-vaccine Father of 3.

Edit- Two Now
2nd Edit- One Now
3rd Edit- Nevermind
4th Edit- WOW this really blew up. I would like to dedicate all these wonderful awards to my 3 children Byeson, Dieanne, and Ammunity. They would have been so proud. RIP

My Grandad was the best drummer in the world

He used to practice 18 hours a day, seven days a week, every day of the year.
Morning, noon, and night he'd be b**... away with his sticks, so dedicated he was, he didn't even have a set of drums, preferring instead to play on old biscuit tins, bottles, anything he could lay his hands on.
He was still playing right up till the moment he died aged 86 when my grandmother stabbed him in the neck with a fork.

Walking around NYC, and a beautiful lady stops me,

She asked me "how do you get to carnagie hall?"
I told her "with a lot of hard work and dedication, ma'mn"

Patriotism.

Being in the American military gives one the rare and distinctively American opportunity to live under a bridge that may one day be posthumously dedicated to you.

China's recent crackdown on effeminate men is comical when you consider that it clearly demonstrates their overall dedication to 'CCPness'.

Talk about mixed messages.

There was a pirate who wanted to become a soprano singer.

Despite dedication and practice, they had to be honest with themselves;
They would never be able to reach the high C's.

I'm gonna open a store dedicated to making pants for people with large butts

I'll call it "Big b**... Britches"