The Best 33 Decline Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Decline jokes. There are some decline competitive jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these decline executives puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Decline Jokes and Puns

Half full, Half empty.

Now you might think that the glass is half full, and you might think that the glass is half empty, but engineers know that the glass is actually two times larger than it needs to be.

Politicians, on the other hand, have assured me that the glass would be more empty if the opposition were in charge,

While surrealists think that the glass is half of a slowly rotting lemon.

Physicists happen to know that you can never know how much water is in the glass because just by measuring it you've changed the outcome.

Neutralists decline to comment.

Moral decline of the modern world

Two bishops were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world.

"I didn't sleep with my wife before I was married," said one clergyman self-righteously, "Did you?"

"I don't know," said the other. "What was her maiden name?"

Child "modeling" sites are on the decline. Experts say that now the most worrisome thing about the current state of pedophilia is...

all the Lostprophets.

Decline joke, Child "modeling" sites are on the decline. Experts say that now the most worrisome thing about the c

Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

So my girlfriend caught me having sex with her mother.

Funny thing was that she didn't even decline my advances.

However it was kinda awkward when the doctor came in and asked if we wanted to continue her life support.


With the decline of newspapers worldwide, staff in-house have been referring to the obituaries

as the Subscriber Countdown

A verb tried to pick up a noun at the club...

He wanted to conjugate, but she had to decline.

Probably all for the best. She was right up against her period.

Decline joke, A verb tried to pick up a noun at the club...

Today in the stock market...

Feathers are down, while escalators have continued on their slow decline. The market for raisins has dried up. Scott Tissue reached a new bottom, while paper remained stationary. There is is some good news, however: helium is up, and elevators rose, as well.

I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...

..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.

Why did the african child decline the chocolate milk?

He thought it was water.

Now I understand why the British population was on a steady decline these past few years...

Brits are really good at pulling out.

You can explore decline investment reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean decline portfolio dad jokes. There are also decline puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?

Shame and sadness at the slow decline of their once beautiful and vibrant culture.

Why did the biker decline an invitation to the rally?

He was just two tired.

What's the best way to decline a hotdog eating contest?

No franks.

Why did the cow jump over the International Space Station?

The decline in our rocketry capability means it couldn't jump over the Moon.

My wife uses me as an excuse all the time to decline an invitation.

She says things like, "I gotta help him with the kids", "he had a long day at work", "I don't want another black eye"

Decline joke, My wife uses me as an excuse all the time to decline an invitation.

America is in a steep decline. Recent polls show 84% of Americans have used weed

I usually dump out the pipe after i use it.

I was hit on by a linguist the other day

She asked me to conjugate, but I had to decline.

My mental health is like bitcoin

Looks like it's on the decline, but could make a come back.


An oregano farmer recently lost a high profile court case and was ordered to pay 20 million dollars. However the spices industry had been on a steady decline so he didn't have that kind of money on hand.

Needless to say his wages were garnished

I was offered $5,000 to sell my account to an advertisement firm

It was a tempting offer, but in the end I had to decline. My morals are strong and intentions are good, just like the wonderful people at Nestle.

The other day I got offered a threesome

I had to decline, if I wanted to disappoint two people at once I'd go out to dinner with my parents

Father's Day gift

My husband asks if I'm ready to give him his Father's Day blow job. I decline and remind him that hes not MY father!

My friend asked me to pet his baby goat. I had to decline.

I'm not going to jail for touching a kid.

How do you figure out the difference between true north versus magnetic north?

I decline to answer.

Japanese population decline

Erection day is once every four years

Two beautiful women approached me at the bar and asked if I'd be interested in a threesome. I had to decline...

If I wanted to disappoint two people at the same time, I'd just go out to dinner with my parents.

I was asked to deliver a eulogy at a funeral that is scheduled for 5:00am.

I had to decline. I'm not much of a mourning person.

Japanese Ministry of Artistic Affairs Warns the Art of Origami is in Decline!

More on this as the story unfolds.

A charity worker stopped me in the street and asked if I was interested in taking part in a marathon.

I was going to decline but he told me it was for disabled kids and children with severe learning difficulties. I thought "damn, I might actually win this".

A verb walks up to a noun in a bar

-- Hey, babe, wanna go back to my place and conjugate?

-- I decline

I applied to the police academy

The academy head approached me "I am afraid I have to decline your application".

"What's the problem?"

"Your family history. Specifically your mother and father."

"My parents are happily married."

"That's the problem. All cops are bastards."

Homeless guy asked if I could spare a dollar.

I looked in my wallet and there was only a $20, so I asked myself "Do I really want this money going to drugs, booze, and the decline of society?"

I decided I didn't so I gave it to him.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the decline promote jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working decline decrease piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes