Deckhand Jokes
6 deckhand jokes and hilarious deckhand puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about deckhand that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Humorous Deckhand Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What is a good deckhand joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
The taxation office suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his deckhand
The taxation office suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his deckhand and sent an auditor to investigate him.
Auditor: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them."
Boat Owner: "Well, there's Clarence, my deckhand, he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bundaberg r**... and a dozen Crown Lagers every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally."
Auditor: "That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one."
Boat Owner: "That'll be me. What'd you want to know?"
A deckhand comes up to the pirate captain.
"The cannons be ready, Captain," he reports.
*"Are,"* the captain scornfully replies.
A new deckhand on a British ship during the naval war against France (1779)
-Captain! They just raised a white flag! What does that mean?
-It means they're french. Fire at will.
One my dad literally just told me
I thought I was going to grow up to be a captain, but it turns out I can only be a deckhand. Because every morning, I wake up, mast in hand and sea men everywhere.
IRS Inquiry
The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his deck hand and sent an agent to investigate him.
IRS AUDITOR: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them".
Boat Owner: "Well, there's Clarence, my deckhand, he's been with me for 3
years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the
mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about
90% of the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own
room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bacardi r**... and a dozen
Budweisers every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also gets to
sleep with my wife occasionally".
IRS AUDITOR: "That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one".
Boat Owner: "That would be me. What would you like to know"?
The Tax Office
The Tax Office suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his deckhands and sent an agent to investigate him.
AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.
Boat Owner: "Well, there's Tom, my first-mate, he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $400 a week plus 1/5 of the catch."
Boat Owner: And, there's Bob, the deckhand, he's been with me for a year. I pay him $300 a week plus 1/5 of the catch.
Boat Owner: Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 16 hours a day and does about 80% of the work. I can't pay him very much cause the boat expenses are high, and some times we don't catch anything. Every now and then I'll buy him a bottle of r**... and he gets to sleep with my wife occasionally.
AUDITOR: "That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one".
Boat Owner: "That'll be me. What'd you want to know?
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