Following is our collection of funny Decision Making jokes. There are some decision making jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these decision making puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
The policeman dispersed the crowd and began to interrogate the suspect.
The policeman : Tell me what happened.
The suspect : Sir I was driving home within the speed limit when my brakes failed. I had no choice but to either crash the car into a group of 10 people or to swerve into the direction of a single person. Am I a monster for deciding to swerve into the single person?
Policeman : No, that sounds like a difficult yet reasonable decision to make. But tell me how did you end up killing 11 people?
Suspect : Well that asshole ran towards the other 10.
One could almost say they've been acting Ruth-lessly.
Because then I would know she is capable of making decisions she will regret in the future.
I always look for a girl who has a tattoo. I see a tattoo, and I think, here's a girl who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.
I'm ok with killing babies... but the idea of a woman making decisions just doesn't sit right with me.
Dad, you and Mom have been happily married for 28 years now. How do you do it?
"That's easy son, when your Mom and I first got married, we made a deal. She would make all the little decisions, and I would make all the big decisions. "
Hey, that sounds like a good arrangement. But how do you decide what's a big decision, and what's a little decision?
"Oh, there hasn't been any big decisions yet."
However, they both threatened to leave the farm if I declared the other the winner. I felt unable to make a decision. As a matter of fact, my hands were tied.
Me: "Take the next left."
Alice and Jack we're both exemplary employees and he honestly had no idea which one he would get rid of, but being an honest man he decided he'd speak to them both ahead of time thinking that it might help him make his decision. He called in Alice first and he said listen, I've either got to lay you or Jack off. Without batting an eye she responded "you better jack off, I have a terrible headache."
They have trouble making sound decisions.
I need to quit making rash decisions.
You can explore decision making reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean decision making dad jokes. There are also decision making puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Roe vs Wade
He asks the bartender "Why are there three steaks hanging from the ceiling?"
The bartender replies "It's a contest sort of thing, actually. If you can jump and slap one of the steaks, you and your buddies get free drinks for the night. If not, you have to pay for everyone in the bar's drinks for the next hour. Wanna give it a try?"
The man thinks for a few minutes and makes his decision.
"Bartender, as much as my buddies and I would like free drinks, the stakes are just too high."
He kept making rash decisions.
It's true. After going to the gym today I've decided I'm never going again.
Woman to Dentist: "Its so painful. I will prefer to get Pregnant than getting my cavity filled"
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Dentist: " Make a Decision, I will adjust the chair accordingly."
As chaos ensues and people are running around frantically, the three men huddle together and try to make a grave decision.
The rabbi says, "we must save the children!"
The lawyer says, "no, screw the children!"
Then the priest says, "do we really have time to screw the children?"
but I don't need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.
We both know who's making the decision...
They make rash decisions
"A choice" is a decision you make.
"To choose" are what Mexicans put on their feet.
....Is the day I go blind.
she replied she's reluctant to make a rash decision
You've gotta sleep on it.
"Woah, woah, woah, doc," I replied. "Let's not make any rash decisions."
Because they don't want a total stranger making 90% of their decisions.
They can't trust their gut
Me: I'm very determined.
Interviewer: OK, we'll call you when we make our decision.
Me: Great! I'll just wait here then.
Then again, I've seen Stranger Things
A couple was celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. The husband was asked what was the secret to their marriage. He replied, When we first got married, we agreed that I would make all the big decisions and she would make all the small decisions. So far it's been all small decisions.
He spent months waffling back and forth until finally in July of AD 64 he decided to make his decision public.
Everything in Rome was fine until that gender reveal party.
When I went to the pharmacy to pick up some medication I had to make a rash decision.
I refuse to make rash decisions.
I really don't know what to do, but I hope I can find a buyer with connections in the black market or else I'll have to just get rid of it before I get caught..
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the decision making puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working decision making piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.