Decade Jokes

Following is our collection of nineties puns and year one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Decade jokes for adults, dirty abbot jokes and clean calmer dad gags for kids.

The Best Decade Puns

A woman adopted a foul-mouthed bird because he was so beautiful and she thought he could be retrained.

The shelter told her the bird lived in a whorehouse for the last decade. When her husband's car pulled in the drive, she dreaded what the bird would say to him. The bird looked at the husband and said, "Hi Phil, welcome back."

What's the difference between a cow and 9/11?

...you can't milk a cow for a decade straight.

After decades of intense research, scientists have finally figured out what a woman wants

Unfortunately, she's since changed her mind.

The bible purposely leaves out the decade of Jesus' life in his 20s because he was clearly a ladies man...

I mean, he can turn water into wine, and was well hung. What do you expect!

A wife wants a fancy Porsche for her fiftieth birthday

She drops hints to her husband:

"You know we've had a really good year, heck, good decade, fiscally. For my birthday, I'm really hoping for something sleek, maybe baby blue. Something you can really step on and it'll go from 0 to 200 in like .2 seconds..."

The husband nods knowingly. So for her birthday, he buys her a scale.

And that's when the fight started...


Nun takes a vow of silence

A woman joins a convent that requires a vow of silence, allowing members only two word a decade.

Ten years go by and the woman tells the head nun, "Room cold." They give her a heater and she goes back to her prayers.

Ten more years go by and she says, "Bed hard." They give her a new mattress and she goes back to her prayers.

Ten more years go by and the woman says, "I quit." The head nun says, "Fine by me. All you've done since you got here is complain."

Everyone in our little town was shocked and horrified that the local butcher got busted for selling drugs.

I had seen Pete once a week like clockwork for over a decade, never even knew he was a butcher.

My 9 year old son just told me this one

Q: What do you call 5 doctors and nurses on a ship?

A: A decade


Ba dum tish.

It took me almost a decade of marriage and several failed attempts of trying to realise it

Im not capable of making dad jokes

A teacher was going over the history syllabus.

The teacher says to the class "We will be learning about history for the next 6 months. Each month I will teach a different decade. We will cover the 1940s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s and 2000-2010".
A student puts her hand up and asks "what about the '90s?". The teacher replies saying "only 90s kids remember the 90s".

Decade: 10 years

Century: 100 years

Millennium: 1000 years

Together forever: 8 months!!!!!!


The French Quarter in New Orleans seems to have gotten cleaner in the last decade

Almost as if it had been washed up or something

I have a buddy who's 6' 11" and his wife is only 3' 6"...

They've been married over a decade and he's still nuts over her...

Decades later our kids would be asking us.

Dad, why did y'all have to write "do not drink" on a bleach bottle?

Do you remember the teen who had that kidney problem a decade ago?

He's doesn't have that problem anymore. He's knees are normal sized now.

For decades I've always liked Kevin Spacey

Turns out he stopped liking me decades ago

In 2017 I'm going to start eating healthy again.

This marks the end of my cheat decade.

What happens once in a minute and twice in a moment but never in a decade?

The letter "m

Dave who is 6 ft11, and his wife is only 3 ft 6.

Dave who is 6 ft11, and his wife is only 3 ft 6.

A decade married, and he's still nuts over her.


David wanted to be a writer!

There was once this young man who professed his desire to become a great writer. Say hello to David. When asked what he wanted to write, David would say with great enthusiasm, " I want to write stuff that the whole world will read. Stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level. Stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"



A decade later, David did fulfill his dream:

David now writes the error messages for Python interpreter.

After decades of fighting his terrible cigarette addiction, my grandfather finally stopped

breathing

My wife told me "Sex is better on vacation"

We haven't taken a vacation in over a decade.

Local Barber got arrested for selling drugs.

I really cant believe it. I have been his customer for over a decade and never knew he was a barber.

A man walks into a bar with a shotgun...

but then he remembers that this is a repost and it's been over a decade since he divorced his cheating ex, so he just sits down and orders a drink.

After decades of research scientists in Texas have discovered a new use for sheep!

Wool!

My wife and I usually smoke after sex.

I haven't had a cigarette in almost a decade.

TIL: For the past decade, Eddie Murphy has been researching and studying the health benefits of almonds.

He has become the Nutty Professor.

There is an abundance of era jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 27 funniest jokes and decade puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any seventies witze you can hear about decade.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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