Following is our collection of irresponsible puns and fees one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Debt jokes for adults, dirty mortgage jokes and clean banks dad gags for kids.
18: can I buy a bottle of wine?
USA: no that's illegal & irresponsible
18: can I go $50,000 into debt for education?
USA: we encourage it
Interviewer: Congratulations on your win! If you don't mind me asking, how will you spend you $1 million winnings?
Poker player: I owe some people some money so I will be paying my debt to these guys.
Interviewer: and what about the rest?
Poker player: Well... I guess they'll have to wait..
I am forever in your debt.
These are the darkest days of my life...
"Mrs. Clinton," the Moderator asks, "What is your plan to lower the national debt?"
Suddenly, Hillary flails her arms around, rolls her eyes wildly, foams at the mouth, and gibbers incoherently for several awkward minutes. Finally, she collapses in a heap and soils herself.
"Hey!" Trump interrupts, "Is she allowed to just steal my answer like that??"
That's nice of her, paying off all my debt.
I could start a government.
cripples you with medical debt.
I'm so excited I can barely put on my ski mask.
You can't imagine how good it felt to be free of debt for the first time.
After all, we pulled ourselves up by your bootstraps.
My crippling debt.
my bank calls me almost everyday to tell me my debt is outstanding
We scream aggressively about how broke we are to heavy guitar riffs.
We're called Debt Metal.
I still wouldn't have enough money to pay off my crippling student debt.
Because when he's president the national debt is Dublin
I'll show myself out
On average, about $30,000 in student debt.
If everything goes well, I will finally be out of debt. I'm so excited, I can barely get my ski mask on!
Debt collectors are the worst
I don't know why, I sent them a cheque.
I'm in debt.
.. that when my Identiy was stolen today and LifeLock called me and said I now have no money in my bank account.
I was like, "Sweet! I'm no longer in debt"
They demand credit for everything
And apparently that doesn't mean pretty huge debt
One student managed to erase his own debt.
It's best to avoid both in your twenties
If you can't budge it.
Owen.
I thank him for noticing how much hard work I put into collecting them.
I'm beyond that point and am now drowning in debt.
Because a lot of rich people are trading you around and a few insiders have told me you're completely toxic.
There are 27 different pegs for gender and only four squares: Debt, Rent, Destroy an Industry, and early Death from lack of healthcare.
It's all going wall until the bank calls you talking about how urine debt
I'm $1,000 in debt, but they said my balance is *outstanding*!
I'd be in debt
I couldn't even afford my electricity bills, they were the darkest times of my life.
Walked out with $225 in debt, an ounce of weed, and a new job.
By swimming in their debt.
A man with $1000 but is $750 in debt, or a man with $250. The hall is silent for a moment, then a student stands up and answers
"Me."
The debt would equal my uninsured hospital bill.
Two weeks later, the boss walks in for his payment. Unable to pay his debt, the herb seller pleads for his life.
"Please sir, give me one more week!" he exclaims.
"No," responds the boss, "your thyme is up."
Boy: What color are your panties, babe?
Girl: Why do you keep asking me stupid questions, don't you ever think about anything else?
Boy: Ok, do you think the republicans should support the congress with their decision to raise the debt ceiling ?
Girl:You know i am wearing your favourite purple lace panties..You want a pic?
I know my balance is outstanding, I've been skateboarding for years, but I fail to see how that's going to help me pay back this debt!
£2,000
Why aren't the firing televised live on TV? And there needs to be some suspenseful music prior to finding out who is being fired along with like 12 commercial breaks that can help pay down the national debt.
From now on, the Island will be known as Puerto Pobre.
Johnny Debt.
It's comments like those that make me want to shoot myself and then go into debt.
Bond. James' Bond.
I am forever in your debt.
I'd probably still be in debt right now.
Enough to put you in so much debt you need to dig your way out
Alternatively: an arm and a leg
I would be 2 million dollars in debt.
She died of coronary heart disease at a relatively young age and left the family with much of her debt.
The USA's debt
Because interest in the Bond is so low.
So I open up the letter and they said, "Hey, Jpohn, It's college. You remember?"
Crippling debt.
so the government decides to do a bale out.
They fight off debt everyday.
Forever alone.
Owen.
your debt
So Epstein will pay his debt to the society.
I'd be in serious debt.
He got iced.
Raisin debt
...if you can't budge it.
My bills are so old, you could call em williams
The Millenial Falcon
Turns out liberal arts is the default setting.
And now I don't recognize him
I started stand up and got beat up. Settlement has been a blessing!
The gas bill was too high.
It's my raisin debt.
Because it's Greek.
Apparently each pack of cigarettes I smoke takes away one year of my debt!
Johnny Debt.
they never leave you a loan
Leave me alone.
Probably because I didn't go to college.
That's the one thing I'm given credit for
A weed wacker.
I'd be deep in debt
The IRS told him that his wife was in debt and needed to pay up or be arrested.
My dad begged them to do so.
There is an abundance of repossess jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 86 funniest jokes and debt puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any economics witze you can hear about debt.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.