Debate Jokes
171 debate jokes and hilarious debate puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about debate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Want to enjoy debate without the seriousness? Check out our compilation of jokes from the debate team that make light of various policy, high school, and LD topics. Laugh your way through a discussion of ideology and join the fun of DNC!
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Funniest Debate Short Jokes
Short debate jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The debate humour may include short controversy jokes also.
- Congratulations to the winner of last night's presidential debate! The Voyager probe, flying away from earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour.
- After a long debate with my Wife, I decied that we won't Vaccine our kids We think the doctor would do a way better job than us
- I debated a flat earther once he stormed off saying he'd walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong.
He'll come around, eventually. - In light of the Net Neutrality debate, I want to say something to support my American friends. Thoughts and prayers.
- The American President has challenged the british Prime Minister to a debate. Nobody knows what may happen.
Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump. - I debated a flat earther once. He got so mad he stormed off saying he would walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong. He'll come around eventually.
- My parents asked me if I wanted to watch dumb and Dumber with them tonight.. When I went downstairs the debate was on.
- Why is Pence upset about plexiglass at the debate? >!This administration is afraid of transparency.!<
- Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie? Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders.
- a fly stayed on pence's head for a couple of minutes at tonight's debate at least the fly knew when his two minutes were up.
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Debate One Liners
Which debate one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with debate? I can suggest the ones about dispute and arguing.
- Who won the presidential debate last night? People who didn't watch
- The fly remained undecided during the debate. He was..
On the Pence - I used to run a pro-life debate team. No one could de-fetus.
- What did the debater say after getting stabbed during an argument? Good point
- You know why fish are so political? They are always taking debate.
- Who Loves Debates? De fishes
- What do you call a debate club that only meets once a year? The United States Congress.
- My wife and I are arguing about getting gym memberships It's a healthy debate
- Who lost the American Presidential Debate? America.
- I won a math debate. Say it out loud. ^
- I know she ate a worm but we are not here to debate de bait deb ate.
- What's missing from tonight's presidential debate? The laugh track.
- How do you catch defish? With debate.
- What do you call a lively debate between frogs? A ribbitting discussion!
- Donald and Hillary walk into a presidential debate. And America walks out
Presidential Debate Jokes
Here is a list of funny presidential debate jokes and even better presidential debate puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I missed the Vice Presidential debate... Can someone please tell me what all the buzz is about?
- SNL does great parodies of presidential debates. For some reason this one is airing on a Tuesday though
- What's the difference between an argument in kindergarten and the presidential debate? About 70 years
- While sitting on the couch my wife said "I feel like putting on a pair of flip-flops." Then she changed the channel to the presidential debate.
- You think the Presidential debate was hard to watch? Think of what it was like for the sign language interpreters.
- I keep burning food with my Presidential Debate microwave... I set it for 2 minutes but it never stops on time.
- After the presidential debate, they debate about the debate. Mind Blown
- A bipolar patient, dementia patient, and narcissist walk into a club. And the announcer says Welcome to the first 2020 presidential debate.
- So the presidential debate is tonight. Even vegans can't stay away from this pig roast.
- I was surprised while watching the presidential debate last night... I didn't know my TV had the comedy channel.
Maths Debate Jokes
Here is a list of funny maths debate jokes and even better maths debate puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Mike Tyson starts a club to dispute the fundamental rules of mathematics He names it: The Math Debate Club
There was a lot of confusion in their first meeting. - I was in the debate team in high school. My best debate was about math. People still say I was the best math debater.
- Arguing about math really gets me off. I guess I just like math-debating.
- "I won a math debate" Said Mike Tyson
- What do mathematicians do in their free time? Math-debate
- Why was the Mathematician frowned upon? He was a chronic math-debater
- Everyone in my class is arguing about science, And I'm just sitting here, maths debating.
- I won a math's debate It was short and hard
- What do you call someone who is always disagreeing with their calculator? A chronic math debater
- I won a math debate ... but I gueth that thould be private.
Debate Team Jokes
Here is a list of funny debate team jokes and even better debate team puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If you know anyone who wants to join the debate team You should try to talk them out of it.
- There is a huge debate about letting NFL teams play against prison inmates as part of their rehabilitation program. Understandable, it has a big list of pros and cons.
- Never marry a woman who was captain of the debate team.
- Did you hear about the amputee debate team? They almost won the championship, but it turns out their argument didn't have a leg to stand on.
- Why doesn't Massachusetts have a Debate team? Because it would be called the Mass-Debate team.
- What is the leader of the debate team called? The Master Debater
- When I was younger, I couldn't decide if I wanted to be on the debate team or not.
- So I t-tried out for the d-d-debate t-team... ...but they said I was too tall.
Speech And Debate Jokes
Here is a list of funny speech and debate jokes and even better speech and debate puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call it, when 10 liberal presidential candidates give their speeches and promises all at the same time? Mass Debating
- What's a mimes favorite class at school? Speech and debate
Comedy Debate Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about debate you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean discussion jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make debate pranks.
Please settle an argument regarding this joke: why is it funny?
>What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
>30 pounds.
This joke has been the source of debate among my peers. I know I'm right, but I need evidence/validation. Why is this joke funny? What is the punch line implying?
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's your opinion on the mobius s**... debate?
I find it a tad one-sided.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Catholic, Protestant and Jew debate
The Catholic argues that life begins at conception; the protestant claims that life begins at birth. The Jew states that life begins when the kids move out and the dog dies.
An architect, a lawyer, and a hunter were sitting at a bar.
The three men were having a debate about whose job was the oldest.
"Obviously it's my job," bragged the hunter. "Cavemen got their food by hunting, which makes my job older than civilization."
"Yes," the architect replied, "but if you read the Bible, it says God created the universe out of darkness and chaos. This technically makes God the architect of the universe."
The lawyer simply smirked. "True, but who do you think invented darkness and chaos?"
Where do you guys stand on the cheese debate?
I'm staunchly pro-volone.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At a medical conference
Two African doctors were in an intense debate. The first said "It's wooooooooooooooommmbbbbb". The second said "no, it's woooooooooooooooommmbbaaaa." A British doctor overhears them and decides to help: "I think the word you are looking for is 'womb.'"
They both turn to him and say "Clearly, you've never heard a hippopotamus f**... underwater!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the cannibal get indigestion after eating his high school debate team rival?
He ate something that disagreed with him
So my friends and I were having a debate over Mortal Komabt
We concluded Sub-Zero is definitely cooler than scorpion
After much debate comparing early black communities to modern during all these officer related shootings
They have decided water hoses weren't so bad
I hosted a debate between "Safe Space" advocates and critics
The safe space advocates didn't show up and called for my resignation.
Recently, I was watching the Republican debate, and they were debating abortion.
Donald Trump was talking about how opposed to it he was, but I thought to myself, come on Don, you're a businessman. I bet you wouldn't be this upset if you could charge them an early termination fee.
I got into a heated debate with my friend about time travel...
We really opened a can of wormholes.
looking for a great stand up comedy show?
just watch the GOP debate
What did the colours red and violet say to one another when they couldn't agree in their debate?
I guess we're just on different ends of the spectrum.
It's the final day of the annual pirate convention, and the debate over the site of next years convention begins...
One pirate says, "how about ARRRbys!", many pirates nod in agreement.
Another pirate says, "how about ARRRkansas", even more pirates are pleased at that suggestion.
A third pirate says, "how about Boston!", a confused murmur spreads across the room, "stay with me here" says the pirate, "so we can pARRRk ARRRR cARRR in the hARRRRvard yARRRd!"
I want to debate! Someone disagree with me!
No.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Which hurts worse: a kick in the nuts, or having a baby?
This has been a debate over the ages: which hurts worse, getting a swift kick to the nuts or birthing a child. It's kind of hard to say since men and women are quite different creatures, but I have noticed something. If a woman goes through childbirth, sometimes a year or so later, she'll ask to have another baby. However, a man who has taken a kick to the jewels...
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I had a debate with myself about m**......
... On one hand it's feels good. And on the other it feels great!
Hillary Clinton has a seizure during the debate...
"Mrs. Clinton," the Moderator asks, "What is your plan to lower the national debt?"
Suddenly, Hillary flails her arms around, rolls her eyes wildly, foams at the mouth, and gibbers incoherently for several awkward minutes. Finally, she collapses in a heap and soils herself.
"Hey!" Trump interrupts, "Is she allowed to just steal my answer like that??"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Normally I hate those t**..., fake, rigged reality TV shows...
But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway.
What are you watching tonight?
The game where players make enough money to risk getting brain damage, or the debate where the players already have brain damage?
Live debate - where is the "China" counter?
Someone must be doing this :)
I don't know who won the debate tonight but I do know who lost...
The American people :(
The debates flipped gender roles.
Last night we saw an argument between a woman who wanted to talk facts, and a man who only wanted to talk about his feelings.
Hosted a mass debate party last night.
I was the only one who came.
I decided to vote for the most presidential and least controversial person I saw on the debate last night...
So I'm going to vote for Lester Holt.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
God's race
One day a black kid and a white kid were debating whether god was black or white. Their debate was turning heated when suddenly the heavens opened and a booming voice and God said "I am what I am!"
Upon hearing this, the black kid gave up his argument and agreed that God is white. The white kid was puzzled and asked the black kid why he changed his mind. The black kid said, "God just said 'I am what I am' if he was black he would've said 'I is what I is'"
Trump's last two chances to save his election campaign at the second debate:
1. Be endorsed by Dave.
2. Bring out a resurrected Harambe on stage.
In tonight's debate Trump said we can't trust the rebels
I'm not surprised; he has always reminded me of Emperor Palpatine.
I had heard the rumors of clowns being spotted all over the country...
But I honestly didn't believe it until I saw them debate each other on TV.
Pence said that Trump show humility and contrition in the debate last night.
Well, that's like looking for bones in an egg
Did you guys hear about that crazy thing Trump said at the debate last night? I couldn't believe it.
He said "Ohio is a spectacular place."
When political debate comes up this Thanksgiving break and you find someone at the other end of spectrum just say one thing.
WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.
The Sanders/Cruz debate was really weird
It was like peeking into an alternate dimension where both parties had hindsight
What piece of sporting equipment is best for provoking a debate?
Discus.
Husband and wife debate
A man and his wife are walking down the street when the wife turns to her husband and says honey, I think it's snowing the man looks back at her and says no it's raining.
To settle the debate between the two they ask the friendly redcoat standing at the end of the street. The redcoat, Rudolph tells them that it is in fact raining.
The husband turns to his wife and says see, Rudolph the red knows rain dear.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Congressmen don't have s**...
They just mass debate.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yesterday, both houses of Congress met to debate legalizing m**....
It was a joint session.
I would like to have an argumentative conversation about the gravitational effect of matter in the universe with you.
In other words I would like to mass debate with you.
What kind of classes do fishes take in high school?
Debate.
A Creationist and Atheist Debate
Creationist: If man evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Atheist: If Adam came from dirt, why is there still dirt?
Did you hear about the debate between Houston and Florida?
It's Roe v. Wade
What do you get after a religious debate?
Death threats.
After much debate, scientists are still to clarify what to call the underneath of an elephant.
It's just a huge grey area.
I want to debate flat earthers...
I just haven't come around to it yet.
I'm organising a debate to decide which member of U2 is the best.
I'm doing it completely pro bono
Age old debate.
People these days always talk about how disgusting butchers and people who sell meat are, however I've found that people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.
People think I'm an idiot, just because I'm a homeless man that asks people to debate with me.
I beg to differ.
I can't believe the way they used the Childrens Health Insurance Program during the budget debate...
It was like a bargaining CHIP.
There's generally 2 sides to any gun-control debate
The Trigger-happy and the
T R I G G E R E D
there's a debate over whether light is a particle or wave.
it's very polarizing
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do nerds relieve their s**... frustration?
They maths debate.
I was gonna start a Debate Club
But I got talked out of it
Jesus and Muhammad were having an intense debate about which of their religions is stronger.
My faith moved mountains, exclaimed Jesus.
Yes, agreed Muhammad, but mine moved skyscrapers.
I debated whether or not to post a joke about the recent "what word is being said?" meme
But I've never been one to rest on my yanny's.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
[Bad Joke OC] Why shouldn't you interrupt a debate between cows in a m**... field?
The steaks are too high.
On the immigration debate, Donald Trump said of other countries: "They're not sending us their best people."
On a side note, Mary Anne MacLeod illegally migrated to the US in 1929. A few years later she gave birth to Donald Trump.
So he may have a point.
I was in the middle of a lake in a canoe with my girl friend last week when suddenly the boat sprung a leak. We had to decide whether to try and get the boat back to shore or abandon ship.
We had a real row v. wade debate that day.
During debates, when my opponents said a word that had different meanings based on its spelling, I would take advantage of it and use the word's other meaning to attack them personally.
It was an ad homonym.
