debate Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious debate puns

Congratulations to the winner of last night's presidential debate!

The Voyager probe, flying away from Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour.

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Everyone debates butts vs. boobs, but nothing beats a pretty face.

Except for Chris Brown

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After a long debate with my Wife, I decied that we won't Vaccine our kids

We think the doctor would do a way better job than us

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Normally I hate those trashy, fake, rigged reality TV shows...

But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway.

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Donald Trump

Donald Trump has labelled Hillary Clinton "disgusting" for taking a bathroom break during the debate. Trump himself never has to go to the bathroom, as the shit just comes straight out of his mouth.

 

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In light of the Net Neutrality debate, I want to say something to support my American friends.

Thoughts and prayers.

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The American President has challenged the British Prime Minister to a debate.

Nobody knows what may happen.

Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump.

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My parents asked me if I wanted to watch Dumb and Dumber with them tonight..

When I went downstairs the debate was on.

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Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie?

Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders.

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A boob, vagina and asshole are having a debate on who is the greatest among all of them. Boob: I produce milk; Vagina: I produce babies;

why are you still reading? It is your turn to speak.

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I used to run a pro-life debate team.

No one could de-fetus.

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I had heard the rumors of clowns being spotted all over the country...

But I honestly didn't believe it until I saw them debate each other on TV.

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Hillary Clinton has a seizure during the debate...

"Mrs. Clinton," the Moderator asks, "What is your plan to lower the national debt?"

Suddenly, Hillary flails her arms around, rolls her eyes wildly, foams at the mouth, and gibbers incoherently for several awkward minutes. Finally, she collapses in a heap and soils herself.

"Hey!" Trump interrupts, "Is she allowed to just steal my answer like that??"

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The debates flipped gender roles.

Last night we saw an argument between a woman who wanted to talk facts, and a man who only wanted to talk about his feelings.

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What does a horny mathematician with a lisp do on his spare time?

Math debate.

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The president of the United States is going to debate the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Nobody is sure who is going to win. In other words...

Trump may trump May. May may trump Trump.

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The men in my debate team only want one thing...

And it's fucking discussing!

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What did the debater say after getting stabbed during an argument?

Good point

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Two Blondes leave a bar and realize they've locked their keys in the car.

After trying every door, attempting to call someone for help, and further debate, one blonde says to the other I bet I can unlock the doors with a coat hanger! I'll run inside and see if they have one!

The other blonde says Ok, well hurry because it looks like it's going to rain and the top is down!

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I had a debate with myself about masturbation...

... On one hand it's feels good. And on the other it feels great!

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Which hurts worse: a kick in the nuts, or having a baby?

This has been a debate over the ages: which hurts worse, getting a swift kick to the nuts or birthing a child. It's kind of hard to say since men and women are quite different creatures, but I have noticed something. If a woman goes through childbirth, sometimes a year or so later, she'll ask to have another baby. However, a man who has taken a kick to the jewels...

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Age old debate.

People these days always talk about how disgusting butchers and people who sell meat are, however I've found that people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

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An architect, a lawyer, and a hunter were sitting at a bar.

The three men were having a debate about whose job was the oldest.

"Obviously it's my job," bragged the hunter. "Cavemen got their food by hunting, which makes my job older than civilization."

"Yes," the architect replied, "but if you read the Bible, it says God created the universe out of darkness and chaos. This technically makes God the architect of the universe."

The lawyer simply smirked. "True, but who do you think invented darkness and chaos?"

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What's your opinion on the mobius strip debate?

I find it a tad one-sided.

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Two Jewish friends pass a Catholic Church.

Two Jewish friends pass a Catholic Church on which a large poster addresses non-Catholics: "Come to us, accept Catholicism, and you instantly get $30,000 in cash!" While walking away, the two friends become engaged in a debate about whether the offer is meant seriously. A week later the two friends meet again in front of the same church, and one of them confides to the other: "I still wonder if that offer is serious." the other replies condescendingly: "Ah you Jews, all you think about is money!"

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Two jewish friends pass a catholic church...

Two jewish friends pass a catholic church on which a large poster addresses non-catholocs: come to us, accept catholicism, and you instantly get $30,000 in cash! While walking away, the two friends engage in a debate about wether the offer is meant seriously. A week later, the two friends pass by the same church again and one confides in the other I still wonder if that offer is serious. The other replies condescendingly: ah, you jews, all you think about is money!

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Three samurai warriors where discussing who was the master of the sword...

As the debate heated up a fly is flying around the room.

The first samurai quickly draws his sword and chops it in two, the other two are not impressed. Another fly enters the room. The second samurai even faster than the first swing his sword and chops the wings off and the fly continues on. A third fly unfortunately finds its way in the room. Quick as lightning the third samurai draws his sword and swings. The fly continues on its way as if nothing happened. The other samurais starts laughing. With quiet dignity he puts his sword away and turns to the and says.

"Laugh all you will, but that fly will never be a dad again."

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Husband and wife debate

A man and his wife are walking down the street when the wife turns to her husband and says honey, I think it's snowing the man looks back at her and says no it's raining.

To settle the debate between the two they ask the friendly redcoat standing at the end of the street. The redcoat, Rudolph tells them that it is in fact raining.

The husband turns to his wife and says see, Rudolph the red knows rain dear.

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A couple driving to Disney World...

...saw signs for the nearby town of Kissimmee. Being unfamiliar with the area, they debated whether it is pronounced KISSimmee or kissIMMee or kissimmEE. The debate turned into an argument and they decided that when they got to the town they would ask one of the locals.

So they pulled into a fast food place on the main drag and went inside. Stepping up to the counter, the guy says, I know this may sound like an unusual request, but could you please very slowly and distinctly tell us where we are?

The clerk looks at him and slowly says Buuurrrrgerrrerrrr Kiiiiiiinggggh.

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Putin, Trump and Merkel are all at a seaside resort having an argument...

The topic of the debate is which country has the best submarines.

Putin begins, saying "Russian submarines are best in the world! They can stay submerged for weeks at a time before needing supplies."

Trump laughs, "Oh no no, AMERICAN submarines are the best in the world. I know it, you know it, everybody knows it! They can go for months without needing supplies!"

Merkel opens her mouth to speak, but is interrupted by a large submarine emerging from the water. The hatch opens, and a sailer shouts at them,

"Sieg Heil! We need fuel!"

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What do you call a debate club that only meets once a year?

The United States Congress.

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Did you guys hear about that crazy thing Trump said at the debate last night? I couldn't believe it.

He said "Ohio is a spectacular place."

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Margaret Thatcher has only been in hell for half a day...

...but she's already sorted out Satan's budget deficit, busted up the demons' union and made Hitler cry during a debate.

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Recently, I was watching the Republican debate, and they were debating abortion.

Donald Trump was talking about how opposed to it he was, but I thought to myself, come on Don, you're a businessman. I bet you wouldn't be this upset if you could charge them an early termination fee.

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A couple is watching Dr. Phil and he begins to talk about mixed emotions.

The man laughs and says "I can't have mixed emotions. Either I'm happy or sad. There is no middle ground. And I don't believe anyone can be."
After a lengthy debate, and the woman not making any head way with him, she sighs and says, "OK, I can prove it."
He laughs more and says "there is nothing you can say to me,that will make me happy and sad at the same time."
The woman replies, "of all your friends... your dick is the biggest."

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What are the most funny Debate jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Debate? Well, here are the best Debate dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Debate pick up lines to share with friends.

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