The Best 9 Deathly Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Deathly jokes. There are some deathly lethal jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these deathly death row puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Deathly Jokes and Puns
Why I won't carpool.
I thought about carpooling with some co-workers to work, but the problem is that on the way to the office we have to go through a tunnel. I'm deathly afraid of this situation. Turns out I have carpool tunnel syndrome.
I'm deathly afraid of elevators
I'm gonna start taking steps to avoid them
I'm deathly afraid of speed bumps
but I'm slowly getting over it.
Murder in Paris
A Frenchman is walking in the Bois de Boulogne forest in Paris when he sees a naked man having sex with a woman in the bushes. He approaches, curious, but notices that she is deathly pale and not moving. Alarmed he rushes off to find a policeman.
"Monsieur! Monsieur!" he shouts, when he finds a gendarme. "I found a man raping a dead woman in the bushes over there."
"Sacre bleu!" shouts the policeman, and rushes off to investigate.
But a few minutes later he returns, smiling wryly, and says, "Non, Monsieur, she is not dead. She is English."
A man knows his marraige is on the rocks and wants to buy a grand gift for his wife...
He offers to buy her a Ferrari but she says no, he offers to get her a massive diamond ring but she declines, he asks her if she wants a huge yacht but she again turns him down. Exasperated, he says 'well what *do* you want?' to which she replies 'a divorce!', the guy goes deathly pale and whimpers 'I wasn't planning on spending *that* much'.
A old woman was arrested on terrorism charges today
A elderly woman was arrested on terrorism charges at Heathrow airport today.
She had tried to bring a bomb onto a plane with her.
When questioned as to why she did such a thing she said she was deathly afraid of her plane being blown up by a terrorist and thought the chances of two bombs being on one plane where astronomical.
After an accident, a man was deathly afraid of elevators
He started taking steps to avoid them.
My friends and I were arguing about which of the Deathly Hallows was best: Cloak, Elder Wand or Resurrection Stone.
Upvote for invisibility.
A man was deathly allergic to mushrooms. After a huge fight, his wife cooked a mushroom into his dinner. He ate it and died.
The morel of the story.. killed him.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the deathly cloak jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working deathly voldemort piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.