The Best 42 Death Row Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Death Row jokes. There are some death row snoo jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these death row mortality puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Death Row Jokes and Puns

What does a death row inmate get after their last meal?

Their just desserts.

A woman on death row is asked what she would like for her last meal.

I dunno, what do you want?

Japenese inmates on death row aren't given their date of death by the prison staff.

I guess they just want to leave them hanging.

Death Row joke, Japenese inmates on death row aren't given their date of death by the prison staff.

Aren't some of the methods used to kill people on death row...

...absolutely shocking

What is Peter Pan on death row?

A frying Pan


A male prison guard asks a woman on death row what she would like for her last meal.

She replies, "I don't know, what do you want to eat?"

Did you hear about the musician that was put on death row?

It's said that he is gonna be exefluted.

Death Row joke, Did you hear about the musician that was put on death row?

Epicurean One-Liner

The death row inmate eats burgers and fries.

Last request

The inmate on death row is scheduled to be put to death by firing squad. He doesn't request a last meal or anything special for his last day.

As he stands before the firing squad he says, "Actually, music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with no interruptions."

The guard nods solemnly and tells him to go ahead.

The inmate starts, "One billion bottles of beer on the wall... ."

Russian Nursery Rhyme

Row row row your boat all the way to Vladivostok

Life is eternal struggle towards an inevitable death

Drink vodka till you sleep

A woman on death row is sitting in her cell when the guard approaches her...

The guard says, "Ok it's almost time. What do you want for your last meal?"

The woman replies, "I dunno...what do you want?"

You can explore death row deadliest reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean death row gazed dad jokes. There are also death row puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


[DEATH ROW]

WARDEN: Last meal?

CON: Just a glass of lemonade please

*Drinks lemonade/Burps*

WARDEN: Pardon

[CON WALKS FREE]

Why aren't there many women on death row?

Ladies first.

Officials recently stated that inmates on death row will no longer be granted a final meal

Just desserts.

Did you know that every single female inmate that was executed on death row was menstruating on the day of her execution?

You ask why? Because you have to end every sentence with a period.

I Had a Friend on Death Row

The other day I visited him to ask him "How's it hanging?"

Death Row joke, I Had a Friend on Death Row

What happened to the convict on death row who ordered only an ice cream sunday as his last meal?

He got his just desserts

A Seriously Ill Man is on Death Row

He is led to the electric chair and asked if he has any last words.

"Good news!" He says, "The doctor told me I'm gonna live!"

Why didn't death row records go to Disneyland for their holiday outing?

Because it was too pac'd.


What do cannibals on death row get for their final meal?

They get whatevers hanging around.

A convicted murderer is on death row, and is scheduled to be killed via electric chair. The prison warden asks: 'Do you have any final requests'?

The murderer responds: 'Can you please hold my hand'?

Inmates on death row should have prison ID's ending in .EXE

Because, eventually, they are all executable.

Being a good Death Row guard takes a lot things

but it really comes down to the execution

Woman sitting on death row. Executioner opens her cell door and says It's time. What do you want to eat for your last meal?

Woman, in typical fashion goes, I don't know, what do you want?

A paralyzed man got a new set of legs from a death row inmate.

Don't worry, the other guy got the chair.

What's the only time a bunch of white guys can conspire to kill a black guy and it's okay?

Death row

I've got so many great joke ideas about escaped death row inmates

But I can never nail the execution

If I were on Death Row, my last meal request would be a clean burger from McDonald's

I'd be kept alive forever.

Two prisoners are on death row

And the day of their execution has come.

The warden turns the first prisoner and asks, "Any last requests?"

"I'd really like to hear the Macarena one last time," he replies.

The warden nods. "Very well. And you?"
he asks the second prisoner.

"Kill me first."

I can't imagine I'd ever find myself on death row...

...but if I did I'd be shocked.

On Death Row

Guard: what do you want for your last meal?

Woman prisoner: I don't know, what do you want?

Did you hear the one about the woman on death row?

They asked her what she wanted for her final meal and she responded, "I dunno. Whatever you want is fine."

Suge Knight got 28 years...

At least he didn't get Death Row.

What did the executioner say to the death row inmate who had their execution date expedited?

Boy have I got noose for you...

All good things come to those who wait...

Unless you're a death row inmate, in that case it's all rape and death.

A prisoner was on death row...

When the guard asked him what his final meal was, he said an all you can eat buffet please .

A woman on death row is going to be killed soon

The guard asks her what she would like for her last meal.

She responds, "I don't know, whatever you want."

Two men on death row are discussing TV shows.

One asks: "So do you prefer Game of Thrones or The Walking Dead"?

The Other Answers: "Oh, I'm a Walking Dead man"

I've been on death row for a while now, and today's the day I found out it'll be via electric chair.

I was shocked.

Death row inmate requests steak for final meal

They are on suicide watch, so orders are spoons only

The guards don't give a fork

A man on death row is offered a last meal.

He lives an extra several years, dying of exhaustion. He ordered endless breadsticks from Olive Garden

A woman was on death row.

The conversation went like this:

Warden: "What do you want for your last meal?"

Woman: "I don't know. What do you want?"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the death row fatality jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working death row dies piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes