The Best 15 Death Penalty Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Death Penalty jokes. There are some death penalty jury jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these death penalty quartered puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Death Penalty Jokes and Puns

Two generals are going to a meeting with the emperor..

General 1: "What's the penalty for being late to meet the Emperor?"

General 2: "Death. He's a stickler for that stuff, you know that!"

1: "And what's the penalty for starting a rebellion?"

2: "Come on man, it's death. Obviously. Why do you ask?"

1: "Well, we're late..."

Did you see that documentary about the death penalty?

Tired concept, great execution.

I don't believe in the death penalty

the last person I want to see in Hell is the asshole who just killed me.

What crimes do trees have to commit to get the death penalty?


Before a trial in a Death penalty case the judge asks the jury 1 question:

Judge: If the evidence warrants it, would any of you take issue with giving the death penalty to the defendant?

(Juror stands)

Juror: The prison is in Huntsville your honour?

Judge: Yes.

Juror: Well that's a pretty far drive for me & I work all week so I can only do it on a Saturday if that's alright with you.

I told my lawyer I wanted to seek the death penalty against my wife.

He said that's not how a divorce works.

A man in ancient Egypt commits a crime. The Pharaoh says "The penalty for your crime is death." "How would like to die?"

"Death by old age"

I don't know why people get so upset about the death penalty

It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, after all.

Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.

He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.

New studies in India shows that

9 out of 10 would like death penalty removed from gang rape charges

Family members of Jeffrey Dahmer's victims once fought against the death penalty.

When they were reminded you are what you eat.

You can explore death penalty gallows reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean death penalty imprisonment dad jokes. There are also death penalty puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

TIL : There are several states in the United States Of America that enforce death penalty for homosexuals

and heterosexuals, and bisexuals.

What car does a man who should have been punished with the death penalty drive?

a Musthang.

What keeps you from strangling your significant other during arguments? Love? Their good personality? Empathy? Morals?

For me, it's the death penalty.

If I want to go to a place that has lots of oil wells and uses the death penalty excessively...

I'll go to Texas. At least there I can eat bacon.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the death penalty convicting jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working death penalty grievous piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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