Dean Jokes

Following is our collection of nuisance puns and university one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Dean jokes for adults, dirty teachers jokes and clean shawn dad gags for kids.

The Best Dean Puns

Sammy just bought a new pair of pants.

He's explaining to Dean that these pants were specially fitted for dancing.

"Ballroom?" Dean asks.

"Not much," Sammy replies.

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students...

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing

out some of the rules:

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and

the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking

this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this

rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will

cost you $180. Are there any questions?"

How much for a season pass?

Dean of Women...

The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls' school was lecturing her students on sexual morality.

We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation, she said, ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?

A young woman rose in the back of the room and said, Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?

Importance of Planning

Why planning is important?

One night four college students were playing till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.

On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.

See below for the question paper.

Q.1. Your Name…….. ………
(2 MARKS)

Q.2. Which tyre burst?
(98 MARKS)

a) Front left
b) Front right
c) Back left
d) Back right

It's the first day for a fraternity...

It's the first day for a fraternity, and the dean is explaining the rules to the new pledges. He sternly advises them, And I must warn you of the curfew for this semester. If I catch any of you in the women's dorms past eight o'clock at night, it's fifty dollars for the first time, a hundred dollars for the second time, and five hundred dollars for the third time.

One pledge raises his hand and asks, How much for a season pass?


An angel appears at a faculty meeting...

... And tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.
"Done!" says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something."
The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."

Dean, to the physics department:

"Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn't you be like the math department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper."

The chancellor of the university is complaining to the dean of physics...

"We need to cut costs!" He says. "All this complex technology you guys use! Why can't you be more like the Maths department? All they need is pencils, paper and wastebaskets!"

"Better still," says the dean of physics, "we could be like the philosophy department. All they need is the pencils and paper."

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn't wearing her seat-belt.

Credit goes to some caller on the Dean Blundell show. I couldn't make that up

Logic

Three professors visit a nudist beach, and strip off. After some time they notice the Dean and his wife approaching. Two of the professors immediately cover their private parts with towels, but the professor of logic covers his face. When asked why, he says "My face is the way that I am usually recognised".

What's Dean Martin's favorite eel?

That's a moray.


The abandoned high school James Dean attended collapsed

Now it's just rubble without a cause.

On the first day of school, the college dean addressed the freshman class to explain some of the campus rules.

"The women's dormitory
is off-limits to male students and the men's
dormitory is off-limits to female students," he
intoned. "Am body caught breaking this rule
will be fined $20 the first time, $60 the second
lime and $180 the third time. Does anyone
have any questions?
A male student raised his hand. "How much
for a season pass?"

First day at college

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students:


"The female dormitory is out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.

The second time you will be fined $60.

A third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"


A male student inquired, "How much for a season pass?"

A university president was complaining to the dean of engineering about his department's expenses...

"Why can't you be more like the math department? The only equipment they need is a blackboard and an eraser. Or better yet, like the philosophy department! They don't even need the eraser."

Repost from 3001: The Final Odyssey.

The papal elections came down to two contenders:

Cardinal Koch and Cardinal Sea. The votes were tallied and Cardinal Koch won by 1 vote. However, moments later, Koch suffered a massive heart attack.

The Dean came out of the room where they took Koch. He looked at the assembled cardinals. They asked, Will we have Pope Koch? . The Dean shook his head and said, Koch is gone, is Pope Sea ok?

James Dean had a tiring day at work

James Dean had a long and tiring day at work, so he decided to stop at a pub on the way home. He ordered a pint of Coors Light and some whiskey. Before the drinks were poured he changed his mind - instead of the pint he asked for a can of Red Bull. He was getting a Red Bull without a Coors!

My grandmother and grandfather's names were Pearl and Dean...

But I always called them Grandma and Grand PAPA PAPA PAPA PAPA PAPAPA, PAPA PAPA PAPA PAPAAAAAA, PA!

I feel sorry for people who don't drink

Because when you wake up in the morning, that's as good as you're gonna feel all day. -Dean Martin


What do you call a crappy live performance of a James Dean movie?

Rebel without applause.

What Did Dean Martin Say When He Saw An Eel?

That's a Moray!

I'm no Dean Martin.

I said to this train driver ''I want to go to Paris".

He said ''Eurostar?''

I said, ''I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin''.

When I was 10 years old I made up this joke. When James Dean got his girlfriend pregnant, she tried to get him to go to childbirth classes, but he refused to go. He was a Rebel Without Lamaze.

Jadyn Dean Sister on horse

There is an abundance of finalists jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 24 funniest jokes and dean puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any attend witze you can hear about dean.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes