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Dealt Jokes

31 dealt jokes and hilarious dealt puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dealt that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Dealt Short Jokes

Short dealt jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dealt humour may include short dealing jokes also.

  1. The blacksmith only sold items he crafted himself. Like his father taught him... He who smelt it, dealt it.
  2. There are 2.000000000001 kinds of people in the world Those who have dealt with floating point, and those who have not.
  3. Watched an episode of a classic sitcom last night. The episode dealt with the topic of circumcision. I didn't enjoy watching it... I hate when sitcoms run clip shows.
  4. Now that the eruptions on Hawai'i are being dealt with, I guess you could say... Cleanup on isle one
  5. Obesity is a problem and needs to be dealt with immediately But remember, 50% off fast food restaurants for the month of August. Help the economy
  6. The IRS is investigating a seafood company in Hawaii which dealt in mollusks They suspect it of being a shell company being in fishy business
  7. Son: Dad, if the blacksmith forges the sword, who sells it? Dad: That's easy son. Whoever smelt it, dealt it.
  8. An auto mechanic is playing poker and gets dealt a bad hand. He sighs and says manifold :(
  9. What's the difference between being dealt a pair of aces and winning a sweater? Nothing, either way you're getting a card-again
  10. I'm writing a book about how Elizabethan era women dealt with their menstrual cycles. It's a period piece.

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Dealt One Liners

Which dealt one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dealt? I can suggest the ones about deals and handed.

  1. Why are blacksmiths so flatulent? Whoever smelt it, dealt it
  2. Did you hear about the Casino that hired a Blacksmith? He who smelt it, dealt it.
  3. Did you hear about the fish that played blackjack? The smelt. It dealt it.
  4. I don't like shoveling my driveway for snow because He who dealt it, should melt it.
  5. Being a Blacksmith must really stink... Because whoever smelt it, dealt it.
  6. Möbius is dealt a pair of threes... "Man, I fold."
  7. "Whoever smelt it, dealt it..." "...so technically officer, this is YOUR m**..."
  8. Well, "He who smelt it, dealt it"... So technically the w**... is yours, Officer.
  9. Found out my mechanic dealt w**... on the side, now he's my spark plug.
  10. He who smelt it dealt it -h**...

Dealt joke, He who smelt it dealt it

Giggle-Inducing Dealt Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about dealt you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean trade jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dealt pranks.

An Old Man Goes In for a Physical...

The doctor concludes his examination and asks the patient if he drinks alcohol.
"I usually have a mimosa in the morning, a glass of wine with dinner, and a can of beer or two before bed."
"Well," says the doctor. "At your age the best thing would be for you to stop drinking entirely."
The old man thinks for a minute.
"I'm a pretty simple guy," he says. "I don't ask much for myself. I've dealt with my share of hard times, and I've learned to get by without much... I'll take the second best thing for me instead."

An investigation was carried out by a foundry...

since somehow people were getting a hold of their new ingots before they started selling them publicly. They investigated the entire foundry and found out that the man in charge of working the furnace was selling the ingots illegally, under the table. This only proves that he who smelt it, dealt it.
(fyi I don't know anything about metalworks or smelting at all. If I used any of these terms incorrectly, sorry.)

A woman is suicidally depressed

She's quite obese, unattractive, and lonely. Life having dealt her a bad hand, she buys a p**... and resolves to end her own life.
Wanting it to be quick, she calls her doctor to ask him where the heart is.
"It's right under the left breast", he replies.
So she hangs up, takes a deep breath, and shoots herself in the knee.

These days, iron and steel are traded on the international commodity market, and if you need some, you just need to contact a trader.

Formerly, if you wanted iron or steel, you would need to go to an ironworks or even a blacksmith's and negotiate directly with the men who made it.
Whoever smelted, dealt it.

Certain public employees who have to submit daily to the rapid fire ...

... of well-meant but needless questions may be excused if they occasionally turn upon their persecutors. This is how an elevator boy dealt with one of them:
"Don't you ever feel sick going up and down this elevator all day?" a fussy lady asked him.
"Yes, ma'am", courteously replied the elevator boy.
"Is it the motion going down?" pursued the lady.
"No, ma'am."
"The going up?"
"No, ma'am."
"Is it the stopping that does it?"
"No, ma'am."
"Then what is it?"
"Answering questions, ma'am."

Source: 1913 newspaper

Talked with a former officer in the Bomb Disposal Unit

I asked him how he dealt with the stress of the job?
"Never had any stress with it." he said
When I asked how come, he said, "It's easy. I either get it right, or it's suddenly not my problem anymore."

What did the first time gambler say to the dealer after being dealt an ace and a queen?

"I don't know how you know my name, but address me by the color of my skin again and we're gonna have problems."

Dealt joke, What's the difference between being dealt a pair of aces and winning a sweater?