Dealership Jokes

Following is our collection of buick puns and subaru one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Dealership jokes for adults, dirty tow jokes and clean honda dad gags for kids.

The Best Dealership Puns

A snail walks into a car dealership...

And he asks the salesman about car customization. He shows the salesman a car that he's thinking about buying, but there's something he wants to change about it. The salesman asks him what it is, and the snail tells him he wants the letter 'S' painted on the doors, roof, and windows, as large as possible. The salesman wonders why, and the snail responds:

"Because when I drive down the street, I want to hear people say 'hey, look at that S-car-go!'"

A cowboy opens a German car dealership

His business card says "Audi Partner"

Mr Snail was always being teased by the insects

for being so slow. Eventually, he just couldn't take it anymore and went to the nearest car dealership.

"I want the fastest sports car you have," he told the salesman, "and make sure to paint a huge 'S' on it, so everyone will know its Mr Snail's car!"

So now, every time Mr Snail drives past the insects, speeding like a maniac, all the insects look and say: "Wow, look at that 'S' car go!"

A snail walks into a car dealership...

A snail walks into a car dealership. The snail wants something fast, elegant, and luxurious, after browsing multiple brands he decides on one.

The rich snail pays in cash and walks up to the dealerships salesman and says "I want you to paint big S's all along this car, big S's on the front, the sides, the back, the top, big S's everywhere. The auto body guy tells him he can do it, but can't help but ask the snail why he wants big S's all over the car.

So the snail answers him "It's simple: When I launch past people on the highway they will say Look at that S car go!

The police vs the senior citizen

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mp...h, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper


Saw some great soviet jokes on here. Here's one from President Reagan...

Buying a car in the Soviet Union is not quite so easy as buying a car in the United States. There's a terrible automobile shortage so you have to pay the money up front and then wait, sometimes many years, until a car is made available to you.
On one occasion, at the height of the shortage, a man went down to his local dealership to buy a car. After he had accepted the man's money and the paperwork had been signed, the dealer informed the man that his car would be ready in 10 years and that he could come back then and pick it up.
Taking note of the date, the man turned to leave but paused on his way out the door and asked, "morning or afternoon?"
"It's 10 years from now, what difference does it make?" replied the dealer.
"Well, I'm busy in the morning." said the man.
Confused, the dealer asked, "what could you possibly have planned for the morning ten years from today?"
"The plumber's coming to fix my sink," replied the man.

Ronald Reagan got into hot water for telling this joke at the S.A.L.T. talks

Russian citizen goes to the Volga car dealership to buy his first car . Dealer says ''that'll be 20,000 Rubles , and we'll deliver it to you TEN YEARS FROM TODAY''. Man asks ''Morning or afternoon?'' Dealer says ''What's the difference , it's ten years from today''. Man says ''Well , the plumber is scheduled for that morning.''ο»Ώ

What'd the cowboy say when he walked into the German car dealership?

Audi...

I turned over a brand new leaf today...

the folks at the Nissan dealership were not very happy with me.

My father died recently and I came into a bunch of money. I decided to buy a car and pay cash...

and the man at the dealership asked me, "Why are all these bills so sticky?!"

My friend is always complaining about the Swedish car dealership he works at. Today I had enough and finally said I don't want to hear anymore of your

Saab stories


Three Chinese brothers

Bu, Chu and Fu came to America to live their American dream.
Bu changed his name to Buck, went into banking and became very rich.
Chu changed his name to Chuck, got a car dealership and also became rich.
Fu decided to go back to China.

So a snail walks into a car dealership..

He goes up to the dealer and he says, "Alright, I want it cherry red, with white-walls, and leather seats, and I want a *big* 'S' painted on the the side." After he rings it the dealer looks at him and he says "I understand white-walls and leather seats, but why the letter 'S' on the side? "Well" the snail says "When I drive by in my new car, I want people to say 'look at that S car go!'

My mom runs a car dealership and I am getting my new car from there.

My mom asked me "So will you be writing a cheque?"

I replied "Not today! It's my cake day. I get Free Karma"

The locked car...

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" His reply: "I know. I already got that side."

What did the cowboy say upon entering the German dealership?

"Audi"

Imagine missing a payment on TESLA

and the car drives itself back to the dealership

I tried to start up a business as a Ford dealership

I lost my focus

I went to a car dealership with my wife

We were intending to swap our old Ford to a newer one. The salesman sees us climb out of our car, comes up and says: "Is that an Escort?"

Me: "No this is my wife"


A snail decides to buy a car...

There's this snail. All his life, all he's ever wanted was a little red corvette, convertible, with a big black "S" painted on the hood. He saves and saves and finally buys his life-long dream. He pulls out of the dealership and his driving down the street, proud as can be. Two guys, waiting at a crosswalk, spot the snail in his new car, and one says to the other, "hey man, look at that S car go!!!"

I recently became the owner of a house boat dealership

The sails went through the roof

What has more minivans than a dealership?

A Mormon church parking lot....

I work at a dealership, this guy there is addicted to brake fluid

but he says he can stop at anytime!

A man walks into a Lada dealership

... and says, "I'd like a hubcap for my Lada," so the dealer says: " that sounds like a fair swap."

A snail hits the lotto and goes into a Rolls Royce dealership and orders his car to have a giant "S" painted on the doors.

When asked why he wanted it, he replied "I want everyone who sees me to say 'look at that S car go!'"

Went to the dog car dealership.

I could tell the salespeople were friendly, since I got all the Volkswagen at me!

Barack Obama walks into a Subaru dealership...

The salesman asked him, "What are you looking for?"

Obama says, "I'm looking for a replacement because my legacy got wrecked."

Chicken

Why did the chicken go to the car dealership?

-- she wanted to trade the coop for a sedan..

A doctor from the morgue calls the local dealership: "How many motorcycles did you sell today?" "Four."

"Oh, looks like one is still riding"

My mayor claims he's a Honda dealer...

He calls his dealership the Civic Centre

My love life makes a phenomenal car dealership promo

48 months no interest, no money down!

Obama walks into a Toyota dealership

And tries to by a Legacy...

My Car Won't Drive At Night

The service department of a BMW dealership took a call. The customer stated that his car, a 380i, will not drive at night.

The advisor, flummoxed at this, asks for more detail.

"You see," the owner replies, "when it is daytime, I put the car in 'D' and it drives like a dream."

"But when I put it in 'N' for Nighttime....'"

What did Dath Vader say when he was disappointed with his shipment from the Ford dealership?

There is no escape.

They're having a huge sale at the mobile home dealership.

The prices are pre-fabulous

My friend called me super excited and...

Wanted to tell me about his new car he just bought. He got a nice red 9-5 from the local dealership. He was going on and on about how he haggled the price down, but I was in the middle of something important. I told him I didn't want to hear his Saab story.

A car dealership twice the size...

...can offer a whole lot more.

Some groomers for your friday the 13th

A snail goes to a dealership and finds an expensive sports car. The salesman says "What would it take to get you in this car?" The snail replies "Paint a big 'S' on the side." The salesman asks "Why an 'S'?" The snail replies "So when I drive around people can say: Watch that 'S' car go!"

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Why was the mushroom invited to all the parties? Because he was a fun-guy!

I always heard women love a man with an accent....

So I marched on into the Hyundai dealership.....

How does a ginger get a soul?

He goes down to the Kia dealership and buys the new 2017 model

A Texan goes to a car dealership

He sees a car he likes and says "Gee that's a byoot!" The Dealer responds "That's not a Buick that's a Honda!"

My Wife Went To The Car Dealership...

She asked me to buy her something that goes 0-200 in under 5 seconds.

So I bought her a scale instead.

I just walked into a Lincoln dealership that was a Ford dealership

Ford store and seven years ago.

I walked into a car dealership today

They told me it would be $30 to replace a brake light bulb

Why are all these people at the car dealership in the middle of the night?

Must be having a party cause the parking lot is PACKED.

At the car dealership

- Hello, i'm interested in buying an Alfa .
- Romeo?
- Juliet ?

My son came up with this joke today. What do you call it when you're counting stock at a Ducati dealership?

Vin-vin-tory

There is an abundance of cadillac jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 47 funniest jokes and dealership puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any mazda witze you can hear about dealership.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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