The Best 47 Dealers Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dealers jokes. There are some dealers casino jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dealers supplier puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Dealers Jokes and Puns

So I went to my dealers house and bought some shoes...

I swear they were laced with something, because I was trippin' everywhere.

Bought a watch from a shop . . .

. . . and the watch only showed hands for hours and minutes. I don't trust second hand dealers.

I'm sick to death of cocaine dealers...

always sticking their business in other people's noses.

Dealers joke, I'm sick to death of cocaine dealers...

Hospitals are so shady nowadays...

Even the doctors are drug dealers.

A couple were working as weed dealers

It was a joint operation.

Who's business is more profitable? A hooker or a drug dealer?

A hooker, because she can wash and re-use *her* crack. A drug dealers crack is a one time use.

Why are handymen the opposite of drug dealers?

Because they're good at fixing.

Dealers joke, Why are handymen the opposite of drug dealers?

What do T-Rex's do for a living?

They're small arms dealers.

Walked into my dealers house with a dollars worth in change and asked for four quarters worth of weed....

Walked out with $225 in debt, an ounce of weed, and a new job.

Why can you never trust second-hand Toyota dealers?

They've got previas.

Why do drug dealers love Muslims?

Because they are always stoned.

You can explore dealers retailer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dealers vender dad jokes. There are also dealers puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A beautiful blonde walks up to a craps table...

She bets ten thousand on one roll of the dice. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel luckier when I'm nude."

She strips down and rolls the dice. When she sees the dice she jumps for joy screaming "I won! I won!" She hugs the dealers, takes her winnings and leaves.

Finally, one of the dealers asks, "What did she roll?" The other says, "I thought you were watching!"

It goes to show: Not all blondes are dumb, but men will always be men.

How do drug dealers get punished by Islamic-Extremist Terrorist in the Middle East?

They get stoned.

Why aren't there any fat girls on the boxes of girl scout cookies?

Because good drug dealers don't use their own product.

Where do drug dealers drink at?

The Pablo Esco Bar.

The Bet

Two casino dealers are at the craps table when a cute blonde comes over and says: "I want to bet $20,000 on a single roll of the dice. But, if you don't mind, I'd I feel much luckier if I were completely nude."

They agree to her unusual request and she strips naked from the neck down, and rolls the dice. Then she screams: "I won! I won!" She starts jumping up and down, hugs each of the dealers, and then picks up her money and her clothes and walks away.

For a minute the two dealers stare at each other. Then the first one says: "What did she roll, anyway?"

The second dealer says: "I don't know. I thought *you* were watching."

Dealers joke, The Bet

Idiot and Chicken

An idiot decided to start a chicken

farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he

returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the
lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealers for
hundred chickens for the second lot had also died. "But I
think I know
where I'm going wrong," said the idiot. "I think I am
planting them too

Whats a lesbian drug dealers favorite game?

Rock, paper, scissor

I like Fed Ex drivers because...

They are drug dealers and they don't even know it.

Why is it so easy to buy drugs at a casino?

Because the casinos are full of dealers.

Why are CVS and Walgreens usually on the corners?

Because drug dealers usually prefer corners.

Why do prostitutes make more money then drug dealers?

Because they can wash their crack and sell it again

What do you call an awards show for drug dealers?

The gram-mies

What is the drug dealers favorite app?


Don't buy shoes from drug dealers!

Whatever the guy laced them with - I was tripping for days!

TIL There's a huge, televised award ceremony for coke dealers held every year...

They call it the grammies

My two weed dealers started working together.

In other words, they engaged in a joint venture.

What's the drug dealers favourite film?

Need for speed.

Why do you never trust overweight female drug dealers?

Because they always cell-u-lite

My parents used to tell me that drug dealers would offer me free drugs until i got addicted to them, then they would charge me extremly high prices for it once i got addicted.

Looking at games in the App Store, I think all those drug dealers turned to game developers.

What do good weed dealers and bad engineers have in common?

Both know not to use what they sell

In the future, if technology makes it possible to replace human limbs

And its common enough that you can buy them in stores, will midgets go to small arms dealers?

You really cannot trust your drug dealers. One day they appear genuine,

Next day they're methin' around

Another joke I just thought of :)

What award do drug dealers win?


(I made myself giggle at this one)

What do food companies and drug dealers have in common?

They both taste their own products

Why can't bartenders become drug dealers?

Because they only serve Pepsi!

What do you call debt collector that goes after drug dealers?

A weed wacker.

Where do drug dealers hide?

Right under our noses

What's a drug dealers favorite subject?


My dad wants me to help him buy a tablet, but I'm not gonna do it.

There's no way I'm getting tangled up with these black-market antiquities dealers.

I went to a drug convention hoping to buy the drugs I saw on Breaking Bad. Too bad I couldn't find any. All the dealers kept gossiping about two people I didn't know.

Who cares if Chris told Meth.

I started a new job

I started a new job ready to teach dealers black jack and Texas hold'em, but all i saw was diapers and detergent. I guess i went to the wrong Procter and Gamble.

Did you know that most drug dealers are exceptionally good at their job?

They are highly qualified.

Carolyn, a rich blonde, buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sport. She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night, it just won't move at all. After trying to drive at night for a week, with no luck, she furiously calls the dealers and they send out a technician to help...

He examines the car and finds nothing wrong with it, so he asks, "Ma'am, are you sure you are using the right gears?"

Full of anger, she growls, "How on earth you could ask such a question!? I'm not stupid you know! Of course I am using the right gears; I use D during the day and N at night."

A priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a drug deal

Drug dealers: "It's a set up!"

The pollen is so bad this year...

The drug dealers are trying to turn their meth back into Sudafed.

What do you call a group of drug dealers with superpowers?

The Powder Rangers.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dealers roulette jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dealers hugs piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes