Dealer Jokes

Funniest Dealer Short Jokes

Short dealer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dealer humour may include short seller jokes also.

1. I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer I have no idea what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
2. I think my girlfriend's a secret drug dealer I just answered her phone, and this man said "is that dope still there?"
3. "We're looking for a drug dealer," said the police officer, "and you fit the description we've been given." I said, "That was easy then. What can I get you fellas?"
4. You are what you think you are Her: What do you do?
   Me: Global prosthetics distribution.
   Her: So you're an artificial limb salesman?
   Me: I prefer 'international arms dealer'.
5. My mom embarassed me me today when one of my black friends came over..she just kept saying "Is he a drug dealer? He looks like a drug dealer" I said "No mom that's racist...and put your money away"
6. Kevin Spacey is trying to get a new position in vegas,... Blackjack Dealer
   Because they hit on anything under 17.
7. Why do prostitutes make more money then drug dealers? Because they can wash their crack and sell it again
8. Just Bought the new Dodge Hornet EV and ended up with two cars Dealer said I also needed a Dodge Charger
9. My drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness as a disguise... He eventually got arrested after the police saw that people actually let him in
10. I was asked " why did you marry a drug dealer" Because my parents told me to marry someone with substance.

Share These Dealer Jokes With Friends

Dealer One Liners

Which dealer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dealer? I can suggest the ones about broker and vendor.

1. My drug test came back negative. My drug dealer has some explaining to do.
2. I buy my guns from a guy named T-Rex He's a small arms dealer.
3. Why was the Tyrannosaurus rex selling handguns? Because he was a small arms dealer.
4. What is the job of a T-Rex? A small arms dealer.
5. Just met up with my heroine dealer. Got three Wonder Womans and a She-Ra.
6. What do you call the crack dealer on a bicycle? A drug peddler
7. What do you call someone who sells prosthetics to the military? An arms dealer.
8. My dad is a blackjack dealer. He hit me until I was 21.
9. I sell prosthetics for children... I'm a small arms dealer
10. I asked my dealer if he had any sodium hypobromite He replied 'NaBrO'
11. My drug dealer is so quick I nicknamed him... Instagram
12. Why did the Jamaican spice dealer turn his life around? Because he was a cinna-mon
13. What do you call a reliable coke dealer? Instagram
14. My FedEx delivery guy is also my drug dealer. He just doesn't know it.
    RIP Mitch.
15. Whats a lesbian drug dealers favorite game? Rock, paper, scissor

Arms Dealer Jokes

Here is a list of funny arms dealer jokes and even better arms dealer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why did T-rex have to register with police? He was a small arms dealer.
  I'm very sorry, I'll show myself out.
• What do you call... What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
  A small arms dealer.
• I once met a T-rex who was working at a casino. He said he was hiding out from the cops.
  I think he was a small arms dealer.
• There's a guy selling prosthetic limbs on my street. He's an arms dealer.
• I played cards with a guy in one of those T-Rex suits... He was a small arms dealer.
• In the future, if technology makes it possible to replace human limbs And its common enough that you can buy them in stores, will midgets go to small arms dealers?
• What do you call a midget that works at a casino? A small arms dealer.
• Did you hear about the arms dealer who's giving away M18 Claymores with every purchase? Oh, I'm gonna get mines.
• 18th Century Arms Dealer Receives Concussion on First Day at Work A burgeoning blunderbuss broker braved and bore the brunt of a bludgeoning to the brain.
• Why didn't the casino hire the T-rex? They didn't want to hire a small arms dealer.

Car Dealer Jokes

Here is a list of funny car dealer jokes and even better car dealer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• When one door closes another one opens That's all well and good , I told the car dealer, but I'm not buying the car until you fix it!
• I went to the used car dealer and bought the only thing I could afford, the Rolls-Canardly It rolls down one hill and canardly make it up the next.
• My first and last day as a drug dealer. Car pulls up. Guy rolls the window down. "You got any coke?" Me: "Is Pepsi OK?" Dude shot me in the leg.
• A man buying a car He looked at the car and questioned:
  -cargo space?
  The car dealer said:
  -car no do that
  Car go road
• A Texan goes to a car dealership He sees a car he likes and says "Gee that's a byoot!" The Dealer responds "That's not a Buick that's a Honda!"
• What did the car dealer ask the oscilloscope? sin or cosine?
• My car dealer will subtract the number of upvotes from my purchase price. When I spend more than $100 000
• I asked my local car dealer if the car he was showing me was his newest one. He replied by saying, you can look around, but your mileage will vary .
• I bought a secondhand car from an online dealer. In the description it said: "Not one scratch." Well, technically he wasn't lying - there's hundreds.
• I took my new car back to the dealers, complaining it only did left turns - "drive in the opposite direction then" he said.

Casino Dealer Jokes

Here is a list of funny casino dealer jokes and even better casino dealer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why is it so easy to buy drugs at a casino? Because the casinos are full of dealers.
• What is a casino dealer's worst nightmare? Master Better

Blackjack Dealer Jokes

Here is a list of funny blackjack dealer jokes and even better blackjack dealer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• How does a blackjack dealer sneak about? He shuffles a round.
• Why wouldn't R. Kelly make a good blackjack dealer? He hits on 17
• A blackjack dealer left his wife behind at their marriage counseling appointment... he just couldn't deal with it anymore

Drug Dealer Jokes

Here is a list of funny drug dealer jokes and even better drug dealer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• PSA: Don't buy shoes from your drug dealer. Trust me. I did. I don't know what they were laced with but I was tripping all day.
• Why aren't there any fat girls on the boxes of girl scout cookies? Because good drug dealers don't use their own product.
• Drug test A couple of days ago I had to do a drug test and it came up negative. Now, I have to have a serious talk with my dealer...
• The local mechanic was arrested for being a drug dealer. I've been his customers for 4 years and I never knew he was a mechanic.
• There was a random drug test at my workplace the other day. Fortunately, mine came out clean.
  But my dealer has some explaining to do.
• My former drug dealer quit dealing and is now working as a bartender... I always knew he'd end up behind bars.
• What's the difference between a coke dealer and a dealer who sells other drugs? A thin white line.
• I got beaten up after I told a customer we don't have coke, is Pepsi okay? My first and last day as a drug dealer.
• I just passed a drugs test at work. Although I am happy to have kept my job, I'll be having words with my dealer.
• Did you know that most drug dealers are exceptionally good at their job? They are highly qualified.

Cheerful Fun Dealer Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about dealer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean merchant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dealer pranks.