Dealer Jokes

• Short Dealer Jokes
• Dealer One Liners
• Arms Dealer Jokes
• Car Dealer Jokes
• Casino Dealer Jokes
• Blackjack Dealer Jokes
• Drug Dealer Jokes
• More Dealer Jokes

Funniest Dealer Short Jokes

Short dealer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dealer humour may include short seller jokes also.

1. My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness so he wouldn't arouse suspicion. He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.
2. I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer I have no idea what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
3. I think my girlfriend's a secret drug dealer I just answered her phone, and this man said "is that dope still there?"
4. "We're looking for a drug dealer," said the police officer, "and you fit the description we've been given." I said, "That was easy then. What can I get you fellas?"
5. A drug dealer sold me his shoes today I don't know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day
6. So my drug dealer got me these new shoes.. And I don't know what he laced them with.. But I've been tripping all day
7. You are what you think you are Her: What do you do?
   Me: Global prosthetics distribution.
   Her: So you're an artificial limb salesman?
   Me: I prefer 'international arms dealer'.
8. My mom embarassed me me today when one of my black friends came over..she just kept saying "Is he a drug dealer? He looks like a drug dealer" I said "No mom that's racist...and put your money away"
9. Kevin Spacey is trying to get a new position in vegas,... Blackjack Dealer
   Because they hit on anything under 17.
10. Why do prostitutes make more money then drug dealers? Because they can wash their crack and sell it again

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Dealer One Liners

Which dealer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dealer? I can suggest the ones about broker and vendor.

1. My drug test came back negative. My drug dealer has some explaining to do.
2. I buy my guns from a guy named T-Rex He's a small arms dealer.
3. I have a T-Rex who sells me guns. He's a small arms dealer.
4. I just passed my drug test My dealer has some serious explaining to do
5. Why was the Tyrannosaurus rex selling handguns? Because he was a small arms dealer.
6. What is the job of a T-Rex? A small arms dealer.
7. Why was the T-Rex selling handguns? He was a small arms dealer.
8. Just met up with my heroine dealer. Got three Wonder Womans and a She-Ra.
9. What do you call the crack dealer on a bicycle? A drug peddler
10. What do you call a T-Rex that works in a casino? A small arms dealer!
11. What do you call someone who sells prosthetics to the military? An arms dealer.
12. I sell prosthetics to midgets who are amputees... I'm a small arms dealer.
13. I feel the same way about lawyers as I do drug dealers They're all scumbags except mine.
14. My dad is a blackjack dealer. He hit me until I was 21.
15. What do you call a person who sells prosthetics and guns? An arms dealer

Arms Dealer Jokes

Here is a list of funny arms dealer jokes and even better arms dealer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• "Where'd you get that gun?" "This? I got it from T-Rex"
  "T-Rex?"
  "Yeah he's a small arms dealer nearby"
• What do you call someone who sells prosthesis to kids? Small arms dealer.
• I sell prosthetics for children... I'm a small arms dealer
• Why did T-rex have to register with police? He was a small arms dealer.
  I'm very sorry, I'll show myself out.
• What do you call... What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
  A small arms dealer.
• What do you call a T rex that sells pistols for a living A small arms dealer
• What do T-Rex's do for a living? They're small arms dealers.
• I once met a T-rex who was working at a casino. He said he was hiding out from the cops.
  I think he was a small arms dealer.
• There's a guy selling prosthetic limbs on my street. He's an arms dealer.
• What do you call a T-Rex who smuggled guns? A small arms dealer.

Car Dealer Jokes

Here is a list of funny car dealer jokes and even better car dealer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Just Bought the new Dodge Hornet EV and ended up with two cars Dealer said I also needed a Dodge Charger
• When one door closes another one opens That's all well and good , I told the car dealer, but I'm not buying the car until you fix it!
• I went to the used car dealer and bought the only thing I could afford, the Rolls-Canardly It rolls down one hill and canardly make it up the next.
• My first and last day as a drug dealer. Car pulls up. Guy rolls the window down. "You got any coke?" Me: "Is Pepsi OK?" Dude shot me in the leg.
• A man buying a car He looked at the car and questioned:
  -cargo space?
  The car dealer said:
  -car no do that
  Car go road
• Cargo Space So, a man goes into a car dealership. He asks the dealer, "cargo space?". The dealer replies "car no do that. car go road."
• A Texan goes to a car dealership He sees a car he likes and says "Gee that's a byoot!" The Dealer responds "That's not a Buick that's a Honda!"
• What did the car dealer ask the oscilloscope? sin or cosine?
• My car dealer will subtract the number of upvotes from my purchase price. When I spend more than $100 000
• I asked my local car dealer if the car he was showing me was his newest one. He replied by saying, you can look around, but your mileage will vary .

Casino Dealer Jokes

Here is a list of funny casino dealer jokes and even better casino dealer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why is it so easy to buy drugs at a casino? Because the casinos are full of dealers.
• What do you call a midget that works at a casino? A small arms dealer.
• Why didn't the casino hire the T-rex? They didn't want to hire a small arms dealer.
• What is a casino dealer's worst nightmare? Master Better
• What do you call a casino employee who sculpts dishes? A p**... dealer!

Blackjack Dealer Jokes

Here is a list of funny blackjack dealer jokes and even better blackjack dealer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• How does a blackjack dealer sneak about? He shuffles a round.
• Why wouldn't R. Kelly make a good blackjack dealer? He hits on 17
• A blackjack dealer left his wife behind at their marriage counseling appointment... he just couldn't deal with it anymore
• A Blackjack dealer is arrested for p**...... He will hit on anything 16 and under.
• What did the card dealer say to the table of 16 year old girls? Blackjack is just like my s**... life, I always hit on 16.

Drug Dealer Jokes

Here is a list of funny drug dealer jokes and even better drug dealer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• *First day as drug dealer* *Giggles* "coke isn't available, is Pepsi ok?"
  *gets stabbed*
• My drug dealer got me shoes for Christmas I dont know what they were laced with, but I've been tripping ever since
• My drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness as a disguise... He eventually got arrested after the police saw that people actually let him in
• I bought shoes from a drug dealer once… I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
• I was asked " why did you marry a drug dealer" Because my parents told me to marry someone with substance.
• PSA: Don't buy shoes from your drug dealer. Trust me. I did. I don't know what they were laced with but I was tripping all day.
• I bought some shoes from a drug dealer recently. I don't know what he laced them with, but I'm still tripping.
• Why aren't there any fat girls on the boxes of girl scout cookies? Because good drug dealers don't use their own product.
• I bought shoes from a drug dealer today... I dont know what he laced them with but i have been tripping like crazy
• My drug dealer sold me some shoes last night. I'm not sure what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.

Cheerful Fun Dealer Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about dealer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean merchant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dealer pranks.