Deaf People Jokes
118 deaf people jokes and hilarious deaf people puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about deaf people that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Deaf People Short Jokes
Short deaf people jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The deaf people humour may include short deaf jokes also.
- (6-year old brother gave me this one) Why do farts smell? So that deaf people can enjoy them too!
- Many people told beethoven that he would never be a musician because he was deaf, but Did he listen?
- A group of deaf people get together to protest The group begins chanting
What do we want?
Hearing aids!
When do we want them?
Hearing aids! - A tasteless joke. People who can't hear are called deaf.
People who can't see are called blind.
People who can't talk are called mute.
What do you call people that can't taste food?
Ethiopian - After he became deaf, many people told Beethoven that his career as a composer was over. But did he listen?
- I gave a deaf blind child my seat in the taxi After he ran over several people I began to contemplate my decision, I told him to stop but he just wouldn't listen
- I feel so bad for the deaf people who need to read lips to communicate, because of all of the face masks right now. Let's give them all a moment of silence.
- Tried cracking a joke about deaf people, but I guess it wasn't funny They just kept staring at me.
- Say what you want about deaf people... That's the whole joke, what else are you looking for?
- Blind, deaf and mute people can all tolerate a dark joke. It's because they're not sensitive.
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Deaf People One Liners
Which deaf people one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with deaf people? I can suggest the ones about blind deaf and deaf mute.
- What do you call a group of deaf people? I don't know. But it is definitely not herd.
- Deaf people aren't known to be very rational They have trouble making sound decisions.
- Why do deaf people make the best gynecologists? Because they're good at reading lips.
- How do deaf people meet online? Simple, they just ask "ASL?"
- Deaf people seem tough to me Because they always let their fists do the talking
- Why do farts stink? So deaf people can enjoy them
- I wrote a terrible joke about deaf people. I'm just glad they'll never hear it.
- Who doesn't know about blind people? Deaf people probably never heard of them.
- How do you stop an argument between deaf people? Turn off the lights...
- How do you stop an argument between a group of deaf people? Turn the lights off.
- Why do deaf people make such good workers? Because they're never ear-response-able.
- How do deaf people tell each other secrets ? They wear mittens.
- What do you call a queue of people waiting for hearing aids to be fitted? Deaf row
- People told Beethoven he cannot be a musician because he was deaf But he didn't listen
- Deaf people are violently protesting because They don't feel their voices are being heard
Two Deaf People Jokes
Here is a list of funny two deaf people jokes and even better two deaf people puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you stop two deaf people from arguing? Turn off the lights.
- What do you call it when two deaf people get in an argument? Smacktalk.
- Two deaf people where telling jokes. Suddenly one of them laughed so hard he broke two fingers.
- If you ever wondered how it looked like when two deaf people argue just look at two Italians having a conversation
- Have you heard the one about the two deaf people? You know, the Justin Bieber Fan Club.
- Have you hear the one about the two deaf people? You know, the Justin Bieber Fan Club.
*did you think you knew the punchline even before you clicked? nice try* - Did you hear about the fight between two deaf people? Neither did they.
- What do you call s**... between two insecure deaf people? An awkward silence
Humorous Deaf People Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about deaf people you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blind people jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make deaf people pranks.
When someone yawns, do deaf people think they're screaming?
Q: Why do farts smell?
A: So deaf people can enjoy them, too.
Say what you want about deaf people...
This is a classic Deaf joke.
Three men are on a train: One Cuban, one Russian and one Deaf man. The Cuban is smoking a huge cigar, but half way through it throws it out the window. The Russian and the Deaf man exclaim about him wasting the beautiful cigar, but he just shrugs and says, "Eh, we have *plenty* of cigars back home."
The the Russian take out a handle of v**... and begins slugging it back, but with half of it finished, turns and tosses it out the window. 'Why woulf you waste such good v**...!" the Deaf man and the Cuban exclaim. "Psh, we have *plenty* of v**... back home."
Then the Deaf man says, "Okay, one minute," and walks off. The Russian and the Cuban look at each other in confusion and shrug, waiting for the Deaf man to return. He does, but he's dragging a man with him. Struggling, he finally tosses the man out the window. The other two yell, "Why would you do that?!! You just killed him!" The Deaf man shrugs and says, "Oh, we have *plenty* of hearing people back home.
Help! Performing in front of a deaf audience, and need an appropriate opening joke or two
Tomorrow I'm conducting a charity benefit for a large state wide deaf education foundation. I'll be in front of ~500 people talking. I Want at least one slightly edgy jokes that would cater to this sort of rich (and largely deaf) audience.
"Once upon a time, Three Little Pigs walk into a bar. The first pig orders 10 beers, downs them, and then asks for the bathroom. The second pig orders 15 beers, downs them, and asks for the bathroom. The third pig orders 20 beers, downs them, and then sits there eating peanuts.
"Aren't you going to ask for the bathroom?" asks the bartender.
"Nope. I'm the pig who goes wee-wee-wee all the way home.""
Three men - one blind, one deaf, one dumb - participate in a game show...
The blind man is shown a map with a marker and asked to name the exact place it is pointing to. Being blind though, he is well versed in Braille, so he begins feeling the map with his hands and after a few seconds says "Grenoble, France".
"Correct! 50 points for Mr. Blind", says the host.
The deaf man is played a particular song and asked to identify its singer. Being deaf though, he is a keen observer and lip-reader. He notices one of the people in the audience singing along with the song, reads their lip, and says, "Stand Tall, by Burton Cummings."
"Correct! 50 points for Mr. Deaf", says the host.
Finally, the dumb man is asked to spell "Mississippi". After thinking for a few seconds, he says, "M-R-S. S-I-P-P-Y".
The problem with dating deaf people...
They're bad listeners
Is toasting with deaf people offensive?
Hear hear...
Why is it so hard to help deaf people?
Because they never listen.
How do deaf people suffer?
In silence.
Business Idea: Audio books for deaf people
Who doesn't enjoy Christmas caroling?
Deaf people.
What's the difference between Franklin Delano Roosevelt and an emergency room run by people who can't hear?
One is FDR the other is a Deaf ER.
This guy kept telling people Reagan National Airport was wayyy too loud...
but the complaints fell on deaf ears.
You know who are great at shadow puppets?
Deaf people.
Is onamonapia....
umderstood by deaf people?
My dad: People overcome adversity all the time son...
Look at Beethoven. They told him he was deaf, but did he listen?
Sign language...
is really handy for deaf people.
Why do farts smell?
So deaf people can know if somebody farts.
What group of limbed people is the worst at karate
The deaf
Did you hear about the guy who sings to deaf people?
He uses an odd lang-sign.
Why are Indian men so ugly?
So deaf people can hate them too.
If blind people wear sunglasses...
Why don't deaf people wear ear muffs?
What do deaf-mute people like about yoga pants?
They make lip-reading easier.
I started a podcast for deaf people
No one listens to it.
Deaf People are the real Anarchists
When u tell them to do something they just dont listen...
I have a notebook that takes away people's hearing.
It's called the Deaf Note.
I vacationed to an island for the deaf
The people there enjoyed all the rights of any of us, but the freedom of speech was not aloud
Did you hear about my large donation to the Charity of Deaf People?
Cause they sure haven't.
I told my deaf friend that people with poor hearing also tend to have poor reflexes.
"Sorry, I didn't catch that."
Did you hear about the e**... in the care home for deaf people?
Neither did they.
SIGN LANGUAGE WRITTEN ALL-CAPS WHY?
DEAF, HARD-OF-HEARING PEOPLE QUIET WORDS CAN'T HEAR
Whats the best thing about having an o**... with deaf blind people?
They don't know.
People used to tell me i was going deaf..
But i haven't heard anyone say that in a while.
There was this joke about these blind and deaf people...
But if I told it it'd be insensitive
Deaf people are scary.
Instead of arguing any points, they just let their fists do the talking.
Deaf people always lose court cases...
They can't get a hearing.
Why are deaf people surprised when it goes soft?
'Cause they can't hear you coming.
What are deaf people tired of hearing?
Nothing.
Why do deaf people never swear?
Because they always watch their language.
So I saw a couple of asians doing sign language
I thought it was wierd because sign language is supposed to be for deaf people.
I hate debating with deaf people
They never wanna hear me out
Have you ever heard the one about deaf people?
Neither have they.
What has 1,000 ears but can't hear?
500 deaf people
What's do gynaecologists and deaf people have in common?
They're pretty good at reading lips.
Deaf people were tired of not being able to communicate.
So they took matters into their own hands.
Stop trying to convince deaf people to make better decisions.
Those b**... just won't listen.
Don't ever allow someone to tell you what you can or cannot do
Follow Beethoven's example. People said he was never going to be a musician because he was deaf. Did he listen to them? Of course not.
What does an argument look like between 2 deaf-mute people?
2 drunk people dancing.
You know why deaf people don't buy new products?
They've never heard of them
A new gynaecologist just opened near my area but, people are saying he is deaf...
I guess he is a really good lip reader...
When Beethoven started composing music, people said he wouldn't amount to anything because he was deaf
Fortunately, he didn't listen to the critics
What is the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Turn off the lights.
i hate deaf people.
they never listen to what i have to say.
Many people told Beethoven that he'd never be a musician because was deaf
But did he listen?
I told my deaf girlfriend that we should see other people.
She said that was hard to hear.
Fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the light!
