Deaf People Jokes
74 deaf people jokes and hilarious deaf people puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about deaf people that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Deaf People Short Jokes
Short deaf people jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The deaf people humour may include short deaf jokes also.
- Many people told beethoven that he would never be a musician because he was deaf, but Did he listen?
- A group of deaf people get together to protest The group begins chanting
What do we want?
Hearing aids!
When do we want them?
Hearing aids! - A tasteless joke. People who can't hear are called deaf.
People who can't see are called blind.
People who can't talk are called mute.
What do you call people that can't taste food?
Ethiopian - I gave a deaf blind child my seat in the taxi After he ran over several people I began to contemplate my decision, I told him to stop but he just wouldn't listen
- people told me i will never be successful because of my deafness but i never listen to them
- I told my deaf girlfriend that we should see other people. She said that was hard to hear.
- I vacationed to an island for the deaf The people there enjoyed all the rights of any of us, but the freedom of speech was not aloud
- A new gynaecologist just opened near my area but, people are saying he is deaf... I guess he is a really good lip reader...
- My dad: People overcome adversity all the time son... Look at Beethoven. They told him he was deaf, but did he listen?
- There was this joke about these blind and deaf people... But if I told it it'd be insensitive
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Deaf People One Liners
Which deaf people one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with deaf people? I can suggest the ones about hard of hearing and hearing aids.
- How do deaf people meet online? Simple, they just ask "ASL?"
- Who doesn't know about blind people? Deaf people probably never heard of them.
- What do you call a queue of people waiting for hearing aids to be fitted? Deaf row
- You know why deaf people don't buy new products? They've never heard of them
- Is toasting with deaf people offensive? Hear hear...
- Why do deaf people never swear? Because they always watch their language.
- When someone yawns, do deaf people think they're screaming?
- People used to tell me i was going deaf.. But i haven't heard anyone say that in a while.
- What are deaf people tired of hearing? Nothing.
- What do you call it when two deaf people get in an argument? Smacktalk.
- If blind people wear sunglasses... Why don't deaf people wear ear muffs?
- What does an argument look like between 2 deaf-mute people? 2 drunk people dancing.
- Did you hear about the guy who sings to deaf people? He uses an odd lang-sign.
- What has 1,000 ears but can't hear? 500 deaf people
- I have a notebook that takes away people's hearing. It's called the Deaf Note.
Humorous Deaf People Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about deaf people you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sign language jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make deaf people pranks.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do deaf people tell each other secrets ?
They wear mittens.
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This is a classic Deaf joke.
Three men are on a train: One Cuban, one Russian and one Deaf man. The Cuban is smoking a huge cigar, but half way through it throws it out the window. The Russian and the Deaf man exclaim about him wasting the beautiful cigar, but he just shrugs and says, "Eh, we have *plenty* of cigars back home."
The the Russian take out a handle of v**... and begins slugging it back, but with half of it finished, turns and tosses it out the window. 'Why woulf you waste such good v**...!" the Deaf man and the Cuban exclaim. "Psh, we have *plenty* of v**... back home."
Then the Deaf man says, "Okay, one minute," and walks off. The Russian and the Cuban look at each other in confusion and shrug, waiting for the Deaf man to return. He does, but he's dragging a man with him. Struggling, he finally tosses the man out the window. The other two yell, "Why would you do that?!! You just killed him!" The Deaf man shrugs and says, "Oh, we have *plenty* of hearing people back home.
Help! Performing in front of a deaf audience, and need an appropriate opening joke or two
Tomorrow I'm conducting a charity benefit for a large state wide deaf education foundation. I'll be in front of ~500 people talking. I Want at least one slightly edgy jokes that would cater to this sort of rich (and largely deaf) audience.
"Once upon a time, Three Little Pigs walk into a bar. The first pig orders 10 beers, downs them, and then asks for the bathroom. The second pig orders 15 beers, downs them, and asks for the bathroom. The third pig orders 20 beers, downs them, and then sits there eating peanuts.
"Aren't you going to ask for the bathroom?" asks the bartender.
"Nope. I'm the pig who goes wee-wee-wee all the way home.""
Three men - one blind, one deaf, one dumb - participate in a game show...
The blind man is shown a map with a marker and asked to name the exact place it is pointing to. Being blind though, he is well versed in Braille, so he begins feeling the map with his hands and after a few seconds says "Grenoble, France".
"Correct! 50 points for Mr. Blind", says the host.
The deaf man is played a particular song and asked to identify its singer. Being deaf though, he is a keen observer and lip-reader. He notices one of the people in the audience singing along with the song, reads their lip, and says, "Stand Tall, by Burton Cummings."
"Correct! 50 points for Mr. Deaf", says the host.
Finally, the dumb man is asked to spell "Mississippi". After thinking for a few seconds, he says, "M-R-S. S-I-P-P-Y".
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do deaf people suffer?
In silence.
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Have you heard the one about the two deaf people?
You know, the Justin Bieber Fan Club.
Business Idea: Audio books for deaf people
Who doesn't enjoy Christmas caroling?
Deaf people.
What's the difference between Franklin Delano Roosevelt and an emergency room run by people who can't hear?
One is FDR the other is a Deaf ER.
This guy kept telling people Reagan National Airport was wayyy too loud...
but the complaints fell on deaf ears.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know who are great at shadow puppets?
Deaf people.
What do deaf people call tongue twisters?
Finger twisters
Did you hear about the fight between two deaf people?
Neither did they.
Is onamonapia....
umderstood by deaf people?
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do deaf-mute people like about yoga pants?
They make lip-reading easier.
I started a podcast for deaf people
No one listens to it.
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Tried cracking a joke about deaf people, but I guess it wasn't funny
They just kept staring at me.
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Deaf People are the real Anarchists
When u tell them to do something they just dont listen...
I told my deaf friend that people with poor hearing also tend to have poor reflexes.
"Sorry, I didn't catch that."
SIGN LANGUAGE WRITTEN ALL-CAPS WHY?
DEAF, HARD-OF-HEARING PEOPLE QUIET WORDS CAN'T HEAR
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whats the best thing about having an o**... with deaf blind people?
They don't know.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call s**... between two insecure deaf people?
An awkward silence
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Why do deaf people make such good workers?
Because they're never ear-response-able.
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So I saw a couple of asians doing sign language
I thought it was wierd because sign language is supposed to be for deaf people.
What's do gynaecologists and deaf people have in common?
They're pretty good at reading lips.
Deaf people were tired of not being able to communicate.
So they took matters into their own hands.
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Stop trying to convince deaf people to make better decisions.
Those b**... just won't listen.
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How do you stop an argument between a group of deaf people?
Turn the lights off.
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Blind, deaf and mute people can all tolerate a dark joke.
It's because they're not sensitive.
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How do you stop two deaf people from arguing?
Turn off the lights.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I feel so bad for the deaf people who need to read lips to communicate, because of all of the face masks right now.
Let's give them all a moment of silence.
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What do you call a group of deaf people?
I don't know. But it is definitely not herd.
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God vs Satan
In contrast to popular beliefs, Heaven and h**... dont lie above each other, but next to each other.
Because God didnt want people be tempted to cross sides, he came to an agreement with Satan: they would have a wall build and split the bill afterwards.
Ofcourse as you could imagin when the wall was build, Satan plays deaf and dumb when it comes to the bill.
After some time God is fed up with Satan's behaviour and confronts him. "If you dont pay your share, i'll sue you!"
Satan shrugs and laughs: "what are you going to do? I got all the lawyers here"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do farts smell so bad?
So deaf people can appreciate them too
