Deaf Jokes

Funniest Deaf Short Jokes

Short deaf jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The deaf humour may include short hard of hearing jokes also.

1. My ex-wife cheated on me with her deaf best friend! Honestly, I should have seen the signs.
2. I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf... So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.
   I told my mother that my new girl friend is disabled. Now we wait.
3. I love you honey pie, my wife said earlier. And I love you tons, I replied. What, no nickname for me? She asked.
   Sometimes I swear she's going deaf.
4. A man goes to the doctors as he thinks he's going deaf What are the symptoms? The doctor asks
   They're that yellow family that live in Springfield
5. There was a fight between a blind man, a deaf man, and a mute man I just have to ask, how long until we end this senseless violence?
6. Many people told beethoven that he would never be a musician because he was deaf, but Did he listen?
7. A group of deaf people get together to protest The group begins chanting
   What do we want?
   Hearing aids!
   When do we want them?
   Hearing aids!
8. Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. Take Beethoven for example, they told him he could not be a musician because he was deaf ... but he didn't listen.
9. Scientists tested a frog. They cut off its legs and said "jump!"
   The frog didn't jump.
   Scientists therefore concluded that when frogs lose their legs, they become deaf.
10. A tasteless joke. People who can't hear are called deaf.
    People who can't see are called blind.
    People who can't talk are called mute.
    What do you call people that can't taste food?
    Ethiopian

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Deaf One Liners

Which deaf one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with deaf? I can suggest the ones about braille and hearing loss.

1. My deaf girlfriend just told me, We need to talk. That is not a good sign.
2. A deaf guy walks into a bar The bartender says
3. What did the deaf person think when he won the auction? I've won, but at what cost?
4. Went to the doctor's today, he told me I was going deaf That news was hard for me to hear
5. If a deaf person goes to court Is it still a hearing?
6. My deaf sister asked me if I wanted to hear a joke. I said: Sure.
   She said: Me too!
7. Two years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf I haven't heard from him since.
8. Did you hear about the deaf gynecologist? He had to read lips.
9. Two deaf-mute kids were arguing. The mother came and turned off the light.
10. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school for the deaf? Neither did they.
11. How do deaf people meet online? Simple, they just ask "ASL?"
12. What did the deaf nymphomaniac say? come again?
13. I almost lost my hearing in an accident... It was a near-deaf experience.
14. How to win an argument with a deaf girl? Turn off the lights.
15. What do you call a deaf dog? Anything you like, it can't hear you.

Deaf People Jokes

Here is a list of funny deaf people jokes and even better deaf people puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I gave a deaf blind child my seat in the taxi After he ran over several people I began to contemplate my decision, I told him to stop but he just wouldn't listen
• Who doesn't know about blind people? Deaf people probably never heard of them.
• people told me i will never be successful because of my deafness but i never listen to them
• What do you call a queue of people waiting for hearing aids to be fitted? Deaf row
• You know why deaf people don't buy new products? They've never heard of them
• Is toasting with deaf people offensive? Hear hear...
• I told my deaf girlfriend that we should see other people. She said that was hard to hear.
• I vacationed to an island for the deaf The people there enjoyed all the rights of any of us, but the freedom of speech was not aloud
• Why do deaf people never swear? Because they always watch their language.
• When someone yawns, do deaf people think they're screaming?

Beethoven Deaf Jokes

Here is a list of funny beethoven deaf jokes and even better beethoven deaf puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Beethoven wrote a manga Deaf note
• What did Beethoven say when it was discovered that he was not actually deaf, and just wearing airpods? "It smells like baroque in here."
• How would Beethoven react to Mettalica, if he's alive now? Probably not much, since he's deaf
• My dad: People overcome adversity all the time son... Look at Beethoven. They told him he was deaf, but did he listen?
• Beethoven became a recluse after he went deaf. Either that or he just couldn't hear the doorbell
• What's that one key Beethoven can be play on a piano but most of us can't? The deaf note
• Friend: Ludwig! Is it true that you have become deaf? Beethoven: Yes.
• Why did the stair railing give money to Beethoven? A bannister always pays his deafs.

Tone Deaf Jokes

Here is a list of funny tone deaf jokes and even better tone deaf puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I'm so tone deaf that I can't even tell the difference between A# and Bb.
• If your friend is tone deaf... Is it in poor taste to leave him a note?
• What do you call a bodybuilder that can't sing? Muscle tone deaf.

Gather Around for Fun Deaf Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about deaf you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean handicapped jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make deaf pranks.