Deadly Jokes

Funniest Deadly Short Jokes

Short deadly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The deadly humour may include short lethal jokes also.

1. TIL unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic Because they are more likely to be dead
   
2. What's the difference between North Korea and the US? North Koreans can't tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can't tell if their leader is dead serious.
3. My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I got her an identical one. She was livid, "what am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
4. Scientists have discovered another deadly pathogen they are calling the Peekaboo virus. Doctors are sending anyone with peekaboo straight to ICU.
5. My girlfriend's dog died so I got her an identical one She got even more upset and shouted at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
6. Whenever I'm in trouble, I ask myself what Jesus would do now. And then I play dead and disappear from the scene for three days.
7. A new study shows that unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic Because they are more likely to be dead.
8. The doctor told me I had only six months to live, so I shot him dead. The judge gave me fifteen years. Problem solved.
9. How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb? Obviously not 8, because its still dark in my basement.
10. Difference between a cult and a religion In a cult, there's a guy at the top that knows it's a scam.
    In a religion, that guy is dead.

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Deadly One Liners

Which deadly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with deadly? I can suggest the ones about poisonous and mortal.

1. Pun enters a room, kills 10 people Pun in, 10 dead
2. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because they're dead
3. Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? Cause they're dead.
4. What lies on its back, 100 feet in the air? A dead centipede.
5. A flashbang would be completely ineffective against Helen Keller. Because she's dead.
6. "Dead or alive, you're coming with me." Great movie quote, terrible pickup line…
7. Why cant michael jackson go within 500m of a school zone... Because he's dead
8. dark Humour is like anti-vax families There's usually a dead baby.
9. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they are dead.
10. Why was Buzzfeed's editor found dead in the bathroom? Because number two shocked him.
11. I gave away all my dead batteries today.. free of charge.
12. A pun walks in and kills 10 people... Pun in, ten dead.
13. Schrodinger's Cat recently went on a crime spree He's wanted dead and alive
14. McAfee not dead actually.. He is still running in the background.
15. Why is Michael Jackson bad at bowling? Because He's dead.

Deadly Sins Jokes

Here is a list of funny deadly sins jokes and even better deadly sins puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Jesus died for your sins. But did He stay dead?
  At most, He lost a weekend for your sins.
• Eating too much cake is the deadly sin of gluttony But not eating too much pie, because the sin of pi is always zero.
• Which of the7 deadly sins are lions guilty of? Pride!!
• 7 deadly sins Eating too much cake is a sin of gluttony, but eating too much pie is okay because the sin of pi is always zero.
• What is bread's most deadly sin? Gluteny
• Which deadly sin do bread lovers commit? Gluten-ny
• If you commit one of the seven deadly sins you should be punished. If you commit all of them you should be a politician.
• The seven deadly sins were having a Mexican stand-off... Greed-o shot first
• If there is one thing we can all agree upon about the Seven Deadly Sins... It's that Kevin Spacey labeled himself as the wrong one
• Everyone who participates in pride month is going h**... Not because they Are gay but because pride is one of the 7 deadly sins

Seven Deadly Sins Jokes

Here is a list of funny seven deadly sins jokes and even better seven deadly sins puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I'm always confused by gay pride parades. Don't the g**... realize its a sin? One of the seven deadly ones, even!

Deadly Yo Mama Jokes

Here is a list of funny deadly yo mama jokes and even better deadly yo mama puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Yo mama is so old that ... She knew the dead sea when it was sick
• Yo Mama: Walking Dead edition Yo mama so fat... when she walked into Terminus, Gareth said, "We have enough food to last us a year."
• Yo' Mama is so old, she calls her waterbed the Dead Sea.
• Yo mama so brutal… She killed the Dead Sea
• Yo Mama is so n**..., she made the Dead Sea, when went to swim.

Deadly Lame Jokes

Here is a list of funny deadly lame jokes and even better deadly lame puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• New Dishwasher launched on the market!!! 1 dead and 2 injured.
  
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  PS: I don't care if it's a repost or too lame, this has been my favourite joke since I was 6 and I had to post it
• A dead guy once told me ... my humor is meta and lame. I'd say it's LAMEnted

Cheeky Deadly Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about deadly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tragic jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make deadly pranks.