Deadly Jokes

Funniest Deadly Short Jokes

Short deadly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The deadly humour may include short poisonous jokes also.

1. What's the difference between North Korea and the US? North Koreans can't tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can't tell if their leader is dead serious.
2. My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I got her an identical one. She was livid, "what am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
3. Scientists have discovered another deadly pathogen they are calling the Peekaboo virus. Doctors are sending anyone with peekaboo straight to ICU.
4. Whenever I'm in trouble, I ask myself what Jesus would do now. And then I play dead and disappear from the scene for three days.
5. A new study shows that unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic Because they are more likely to be dead.
6. Difference between a cult and a religion In a cult, there's a guy at the top that knows it's a scam.
   In a religion, that guy is dead.
7. George R R Martin, dead after reaching peak popularity Just like one of his characters.
   (If this trash of a post hit the front page, the title could really mess with some GoT fans, I'm just saying)
8. • My friend's dog died the other day so I surprised her by going out and getting her an identical dog. She was furious, she said *"what am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"*
9. Jesus died for your sins. But did He stay dead?
   At most, He lost a weekend for your sins.
10. Eating too much cake is the deadly sin of gluttony But not eating too much pie, because the sin of pi is always zero.

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Deadly One Liners

Which deadly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with deadly? I can suggest the ones about mortal and tragic.

1. Pun enters a room, kills 10 people Pun in, 10 dead
2. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because they're dead
3. Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? Cause they're dead.
4. What lies on its back, 100 feet in the air? A dead centipede.
5. A flashbang would be completely ineffective against Helen Keller. Because she's dead.
6. "Dead or alive, you're coming with me." Great movie quote, terrible pickup line…
7. Why cant michael jackson go within 500m of a school zone... Because he's dead
8. Why was Buzzfeed's editor found dead in the bathroom? Because number two shocked him.
9. I gave away all my dead batteries today.. free of charge.
10. Schrodinger's Cat recently went on a crime spree He's wanted dead and alive
11. McAfee not dead actually.. He is still running in the background.
12. Why is Michael Jackson bad at bowling? Because He's dead.
13. Why wouldn't the anti-vaxxers child eat his broccoli? He's dead
14. What's the definition of a will? Come on guys it's a dead giveaway
15. Does no one say YOLO anymore? Or are they all dead?

Deadly Sins Jokes

Here is a list of funny deadly sins jokes and even better deadly sins puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Which of the7 deadly sins are lions guilty of? Pride!!
• What is bread's most deadly sin? Gluteny
• The seven deadly sins were having a Mexican stand-off... Greed-o shot first
• If there is one thing we can all agree upon about the Seven Deadly Sins... It's that Kevin Spacey labeled himself as the wrong one

Deadly Lame Jokes

Here is a list of funny deadly lame jokes and even better deadly lame puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• New Dishwasher launched on the market!!! 1 dead and 2 injured.
  
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  PS: I don't care if it's a repost or too lame, this has been my favourite joke since I was 6 and I had to post it
• A dead guy once told me ... my humor is meta and lame. I'd say it's LAMEnted

Cheeky Deadly Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about deadly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean devastating jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make deadly pranks.