Deadline Jokes

Following is our collection of expire puns and facility one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Deadline jokes for adults, dirty cutoff jokes and clean communications dad gags for kids.

The Best Deadline Puns

The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline.

No one remembers where this tradition originated, but every year it attracts many tourists from all over the world.

Have you ever found yourself staring at a deadline, with no real work done, and then going to your teacher to beg for an extention?

Well then you know how UK feels

Doctor gave me 3 months to live...

I'm so lazy I missed the deadline, that was 4 months ago.

Calvin had a mean teacher.

So when he missed a deadline for an assignment, Calvin begged for an extension.

The teacher said, No, I'm giving you a 0, Calvin.

Calvin replied, You are absolutely cold.

Say what you want about the Make-a-Wish foundation

At least they can work to a deadline


I have a lot of work to do in the morgue today.

There's a new deadline I need to meet.

I went out last night with a group of enthusiastic weavers.

Unfortunately they had to rush off to meet a looming deadline.

Job ad: Position of a psychic at large international corporation open ($1M/annually)

Submit your application and cover letter you know where. The deadline is you know when.

Jack was deeply involved in finishing a report for the upcoming board meeting received a call from his wife that she had a good news and a bad news.

Because of the deadline he asked if she could just give him the good news. The wife replied "Okay, the good news is that the air bags work."

"Time is an arbitrary concept"

is apparently a bad way to explain to your boss why you missed the project deadline

What do you call wanting to get rich within your life time?

Setting a deadline.


What do you call a girl who did not register in time for the beauty contest?

Miss Deadline.

A single zombie is scary, but a row of zombies forms something even scarier...

A deadline.

My wife told me to call the life line by tomorrrow morning

My wife must have made a call to the deadline

There is an abundance of schedule jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 14 funniest jokes and deadline puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any facilities witze you can hear about deadline.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes