Dead Silence Jokes
59 dead silence jokes and hilarious dead silence puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dead silence that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Dead Silence Short Jokes
Short dead silence jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dead silence humour may include short silence jokes also.
- What's another word for dead silence? The sound that happens when you read the punchline for this joke?
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Dead Silence Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about dead silence you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean silent treatment jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dead silence pranks.
On a Trans-Atlantic Flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.
The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.
One woman, in particular, loses it!
Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane.
"I'm too young to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of s**... in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well, I've had it! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?"
For a moment there is silence.
Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane.
"I can make you feel like a woman," he says.
He's drop-dead gorgeous.
Tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time.
No one moves.
The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches.
He removes his shirt.
Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Here, iron this."
Two hunters
Two hunters were out walking in the woods when suddenly one of them collapses and falls to the ground. The other hunter calls 911 and says "Help! My friend collapsed and died! What can I do?". The 911-operator replies "Calm down, I can help you. First, let's make sure he's really dead". There's a silence and then a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says "Ok, now what?"
No problems
A former Sergeant , having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started he injured his back.
He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body.
Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart-alec punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was, before trying any pranks. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and promptly stapled the tie to his chest. Dead silence ... He had no trouble with discipline that year.
How to keep kids from acting up in class
A former Sergeant , having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started he injured his back.
He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body.
Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart-alec punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was, before trying any pranks. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and promptly stapled the tie to his chest. Dead silence ... He had no trouble with discipline that year.
A hunter and his friend.....
A hunter and his friend have been camping in the woods for a few days. One day, however, the hunter noticed his friend was sleeping for a very long time. He repeatedly tries to wake him up, but fails each time. He then runs to the cabin near him and dials 911. He says to the operator: "I think my friend is dead!" The operator thinks for a moment, and then says: " Make sure he is really dead, and not just sleeping." There is silence, and then the operator hears a loud bang. The hunter picks up the phone again: "Ok, now what?"
The Burglar
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you!"
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
"Jesus is watching you," went the voice loudly again.
The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
He asked the parrot, "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"
"Yes," said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot, "What's your name?"
"Clarence," said the bird.
"That's a s**... name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot would name a parrot Clarence?"
The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus."
Two Men Go Hunting
A couple of Oklahoma hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead."
... There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "OK, now what?"
Two men are hiking...
Two men are hiking in a forest when suddenly, the other man falls down. "Oh my God!", his friend exclaims. He quickly dials 911. He gets connected to an operater. "This is 911, what is your emergency?" "Me and my buddy were hiking and he suddenly fell down! His eyes are glazed and he isn't moving!" "Calm down, sir. Everything will be okay. Now, can you make sure he is dead?"
There is a brief silence on the line, then a gunshot is heard in the background. "Okay, now what?"
An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.
Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a j**... lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.
The conversation went like this:
"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a j**... lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.......
Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye,'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call.
Oscar
• Roses are red,
Violets are glorious,
Don't try to surprise
Oscar Pistorius
• She didn't notice Oscar sneaking up behind her. It was the silence of the limbs.
• Oscar Pistorius. Not the first South African with a race problem.
• When Oscar Pistorius said he wanted to be just like able bodied athletes, who knew he meant OJ Simpson?
• Absolutely shocking news from South Africa. White man arrested for m**....
• Oscar Pistorius. Just because he has no legs doesn't mean he's unarmed.
• I take it Oscar Pistorius's girlfriend bought him shoes for Valentines.
• What do you call a room full of dead people? An Oscar Pistorius surprise birthday party.
• Oscar Pistorius has an incredible record of wins to his name. Six gold medals, four silver medals and one argument.
• A young woman is dead, the life of up and coming athlete, Oscar Pistorious, is ruined, and people are already making jokes about it. That's prosthetic... i mean pathetic.
• I think it's safe to say that Oscar Pistorius won't be getting his leg over tonight.
• Police have found a list of 20 other women that Pistorius planned to kill, they are calling it shinless list.
• And the Oscar goes to....... Prison.
Jar Full of $10 Bills
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of $10 bills on the bar. He goes to the barkeep and says "Hey, what's up with that jar?"
The bartender responds "Well, you put in 10 bucks, do 3 challenges, and if you do them you get the whole jar."
The man says "Wow that's pretty cool, what are the challenges?"
The barkeep lists "Well, first ya gotta drink a whole bottle of hot sauce, and no nursing. Second, there's a dog out back who has a sore tooth and he's real grouchy, and you gotta take out the bad tooth bare handed. Last, there's this old lady upstairs who's never done the hokey pokey, if ya know what I mean, and you gotta fix that."
The man replies in disgust "I can't do any of those!" So the man gets drunk. Being drunk, he decides he can do anything and says "Hand me the bottle of hot sauce." So the bartender hands the man the bottle and the man drinks the whole, straight down. He then goes outside to deal with the dog. As the door shuts you hear yelping and screaming and hollering and growling and then.... dead silence... The door creaks open and the man walks in. He's all covered in blood, his shirts torn, he's missing hair... and in a drunken slur he asks "Where's the old lady with the tooth problem?"
Funniest joke of all time...according to Wikipedia...thought I share.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"[
World's Funniest Joke
The "world's funniest joke" is a term used by Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002 to summarize one of the results of his research. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes. Purposes of the research included discovering the joke that had the widest appeal and understanding among different cultures, demographics and countries.
The History Channel eventually hosted a special on the subject.
The winning joke, which was later found to be based on a 1951 Goon Show sketch by Spike Milligan,was submitted by Gurpal Gosal of Manchester:
*Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"*
Two men go hunting in the forest
They are walking along with their guns and enjoying the outdoors when one man suddenly collapses. His friend grabs him to see what's wrong, but he won't move. He knows something is wrong and calls 911.
911 Operator: "911 operator, what is your emergency?"
Friend: "My buddy just collapsed. He wont move, I think he's dead! What do I do?"
911 Operator: "Well first you need to make sure he is actually dead. You need to-"
The operator hears the man leave the phone for a moment, followed by a moment of silence and the a loud bang.
Friend: "Okay. Now what?"
A man is set to go hunting, he's supposed to meet his buddy who is already there...
When he gets there he sees that his friends truck door is open and he's laying on the ground right next to the door. As you slowly approaches he notices he's not breathing so in panic stricken state he calls 911...
Operater: "911 hotline, please state your emergency."
Hunter: "My friend, he's laying on the ground! He's dead!"
Operater: "Calm down sir, first we have to make sure your friend is dead"
(Few moments of silence then 2 loud distinct gun shots)
Hunter: "Okay, now what!?"
Two guys are out hunting
Two guys are out hunting and one of them falls down a ravine. The other one run down to him, can't find a pulse, and calls calls 911 and says "Help me my friend is dead! I don't know what to do!" The operator says "That's okay just calm down I'm going to help. Now let's start by making sure he's actually dead." There's silence on the line and then a gunshot is heard. The guy comes back on the line and says "Okay now what?"
"911, what is your emergency?"
The voice coming through the dispatcher's headset was that of a young man, clearly in a state of panic. "Ma'am, you gotta help me! I was hunting in the woods with my buddy, and all of a sudden he just turned blue and fell over! I think he's dead! What am I gonna do? You gotta help me!"
"All right, sir—calm down, and everything's going to be all right. The first thing is, I need you to make sure he's actually dead. Can you do that for me, sir?"
"Yeah, I think so. Just a second…"
Silence on the other end of the line.
The sound of a gunshot.
"OK, what now?"
Not like that...
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed, so his friend calls 911. "My friend is dead! What should I do?" The operator replies, "Calm down, sir. I can help. First make sure that he's dead." There's a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
Hilary Clinton is pregnant....
Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find outthat she's pregnant! She is furious. Here just became the senator ofNew York and this has happened to her. She gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: "How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! Howcould you? ? !!! I can't believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault!!! Your fault!!! Well, what haveyou got to say? ? ? "There is nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screamsagain, "Did you hear me? ? !! " Finally she hears Bill's very, veryquiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, "Who is this? "
A burglar broke into a house
=
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty.
He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
"Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened.
Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"
"Yes," said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief and asked the parrot: "Whats your name?"
"Clarence," said the bird.
"Thats a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"
The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus."
Jesus is watching you.
=
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty.
He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
"Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened.
Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"
"Yes," said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief and asked the parrot: "Whats your name?"
"Clarence," said the bird.
"Thats a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"
The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus."
Two hunters are out in the woods...
One collapses and stops breathing. His companion calls an emergency number and cries, "My friend is dead! What should I do?" The operator says, "Calm down; I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot, and the hunter says, "OK, now what?"
Two men are hiking in the woods.
Suddenly, one of the them drops to the ground and doesn't appear to be breathing.
Luckily, the other man has his cell phone and dials 911.
"911! 911! My friend is dead! What should I do?" he asks.
"Slow down," the operator says. "Don't worry, okay? Now, let's make sure he's actually dead, okay?"
The operator hears silence, and then a sound like an axe hitting a watermelon. Then the man's voice comes back on the line.
"Okay, now what?"
Prison jokes
A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, "Number twelve!" The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, "Number four!" Again, the whole cell block breaks out laughing.
The new guy asks his cellmate what's going on. "Well," says the older prisoner, "we've all been in this here prison for so long, we all know the same jokes. So we just yell out the number instead of saying the whole joke."
So the new guy walks up to the bars and yells, "Number six!" There was dead silence in the cell block. He asks the older prisoner, "What's wrong? Why didn't I get any laughs?"
"Well," said the older man, "you messed up the punchline."
Two hunters are in the woods...
Two hunters were in the woods, when one collapsed. He didn't seem to be breathing. The other called the emergency number and said, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator said, "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." After a second of silence on the hunter's end, the operator heard a gunshot. The hunter came back on the phone and said, ""OK, now what?"
A Former Sergeant In The Marine Corps Took A New Job As A High School Teacher
A former Sergeant in the Marine Corps took a new job as a high school teacher.
Just before the school year started, he injured his back.
He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable.
On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.
Dead silence... the rest of the year went very smoothly :)
Two hunters are out in the woods when one collapses...
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, "I think my friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
Two hunters are strolling through the woods ...
When suddenly, one of them gasps, grabs hit chest, and collapses on the floor, eyes open and non-responsive.
In a panic, the other hunter dials 911: "I think my friend is dead! What can I do?!"
"Sir, please calm down. First of all, lets make sure he's dead"
There is a silence, and then a gunshot is heard
"Okay, so now what?"
Hillary is pregnant.
Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she's pregnant. She is furious! Here she is about to run for President and this has happened to her.
She calls Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: "How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you???!!! I can't believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it's all your fault!!! YOUR FAULT!!! Well, what have you got to say???"
There is nothing but dead silence on the end of the phone.
She screams again, "DID YOU HEAR ME???!!!"
Finally, she hears Bill's very, very quiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, "Who is this?"
A hooded bank robber burst into a bank demanding cash
Once his bags were full he started making his way out when a brave soldier ripped his mask off and sees his face. The robber, realizing his face has been exposed, shoots and kills him dead. The robber turns around and sees a bank teller looking him in the eyes so he walks up to him and shoots him dead aswell. He puts his mask back on and yells "did anyone else see my face?". At this point everyone is staring at the floor too terrified to look up. After a few moments of utter silence an old man raises his hand his while keeping his face on the floor he says "my wife got pretty good look at you"
Make sure that she is really dead
A doctor gets a phone call from his best friend, and the frantic voice at the other end says "God, oh God, my wife's dead! I shot her! What do I do!?" The doc tells his friend to calm down. "OK, now the first thing is, you have to be sure that she's really dead." He hears silence at the other end, then a single gunshot. "OK, what now?!"
Two hunters are in the woods when one falls to the ground
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other calls 911 and gasps "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says "just take it easy. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is silence, then a shot is heard.
The hunter's voice comes back on the line "ok, now what?"
Two guys are hunting in the woods
All of a sudden, one collapses. His friend calls 911 in a panic. "What do I do? My friend is dead!" "Just calm down," says the operator. "An ambulance is on the way. First, we need to make sure he is actually dead." There is silence for a moment. The operator hears a loud BANG!!!! The hunter returns to the phone. "Okay, now what?"
Two hunters walk into the woods....
One of them trips over, he's not breathing and his eyes have rolled back into their sockets. The other hunter whips out his phone and calls emergency services. The lady on the line asks what's wrong.
"Help, help! I think my friend is dead!"says the hunter.
"Calm down, take a breather, help will be with you shortly. First you need to make sure that he is dead"says the woman.
There is a silence, then a gunshot Is heard.
The hunter goes back on the phone and says "okay, now what?"
Two men are out hunting when one of them suddenly drops dead
Two men are out hunting when one of them suddenly drops dead. He calls 911 immediately. The operator says "Can I help you sir?"
The man replies "I think my friend is dead! Get an ambulance! What should I do?"
The operator replies "Okay, calm down sir. First we have to make sure he is dead."
There is silence, then a gun shot, then the man comes back on "Okay, what now?"
Bjorn and Sven are in the woods hunting
Suddenly Sven cries out, clutches his chest, and falls to the ground.
In a panic, Bjorn pulls out his cell phone and calls 911.
'911, what is your emergency?'
'Yeah, this is Bjorn and you gotta help me! Me and Sven are out hunting and Sven just up and keeled over dead! What do I do?'
'Remain calm,' says the 911 operator. 'The first thing you need to do is make sure he's dead.'
'Okay,' says Bjorn. 'Hang on a sec.' There are several seconds of silence, then a shot rings out. Bjorn comes back on the phone, 'Okay, now what?'
Two men are walking in the woods...
...all of a sudden, one of them collapses. The other man dials 911 and says, "Help! I think my friend is dead!" The operator responds, "Sir, calm down. First of all, we need to make sure he is dead." There is a minute of silence and a loud thud before the man responds, "Okay, now what?"
A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls on the ground.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes have rolled back in his head. The other hunter whips out his cellphone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator "I THINK MY FRIEND IS DEAD, WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!"
The operator responds in a calm, soothing voice "Everything will be ok, first we should make sure he's dead."
After a long silence, the operator hears a shot.
"Ok" Says the hunter "what now?"
Dumb r**......
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
I think my friend is dead! he yells. What can I do?
The operator says, Calm down. First, let's make sure he's dead.
There's a brief silence, followed by a loud gunshot. He get's back on the phone and says, Okay, now what?
Two hunters in the forest
Our story is set out in a wooded hunting reserve. Two men, carrying a backpack and gun each, trekked out into the forest in search of game.
After an hour or two in the forest, one of the hunters keels over and collapses on the ground. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed over. The other hunter calls 911. The operator picks up.
"Nine-One-One, what is your emergency?"
"Help! I think my friend might be dead!" The hunter cries.
The operator calmly responds "Okay, I know how to help."
"What do I do?" the hunter replies.
"First of all, you have to make sure he's really dead." The operator says.
There's a silence. Then a gunshot.
"Okay, now what?"
There are 2 hunters in the woods
suddenly, one of the hunters has a heart attack and falls over. The other hunter calls 911. "Operator, I think my friend is dead," he says. "Well before we do anything else, we need to make sure he is dead," responds the operator. There is silence. Then there is a loud bang. "Ok, now what do I do"?
Harold and David are out hunting when David collapses and stops breathing.
Desperately Harold searches for a pulse but can't find one. He whips out his phone and dials 911 and blurts, 'My friend had just dropped dead! What should I do?' A soothing voice on the other end says, 'OK, OK. Just relax. First, let's make sure he really is dead.' After a brief silence the operator hears a shot ring out. Then Harold comes back to the phone. 'OK,' he says nervously, 'what do I do next?'
A lion gathered all animals on a meeting
Lion: I have decided that my daughter is old enough for a marriage and I want her to marry the bravest animal in my kingdom. I will give her hand to whoever jumps of this cliff we are standing on right now.
Silence. Noone is brave enough to do such a thing.
Suddenly, everyone hears "AAAAAAARGH" and then "THUMP". When the dust disappeared, there was a bear wiping the dust from his fur and shouting:
Bear: You, lion will give me your daughter now, and rabbit, you are dead when I catch you!
Two boys are camping in the woods when one of them collapses
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other boy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a brief silence when a sound like an axe hitting a watermelon is heard.
Back on the phone, the boy says, "OK, now what?
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.
He's not breathing so his friend calls 911. 'My friend is dead! What should I do?" The operator replies, "Calm down sir, first make sure that he's really dead." There's a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Ok, now what?"
Two men are hunting in the woods...
Andy and Ed are off hunting on a hot summer's day, when all of a sudden Ed collapses, seizing and foaming at the mouth. Andy panics and instantly whips out his phone to call 911.
"I think my friend is dead!" Andy frantically yells into the phone.
"Ok, calm down sir. Let's take this one step at a time. First, let's make sure he's actually dead."
There's a silence, then two shots are heard. Back on the phone, Andy says, "Ok, now what?"
Two hunters are out in a forest.......
...when one of the collapses, the other hunter panics, and calls 911, here's what happened:
Operator: 911, whats your emergency
Hunter: My friend collapsed in the forest with me, what do I do?!
Operator: Can check if he is dead?
There is silence...... then,
\*BANG\*
Hunter: Okay, what now?
Two friends go hunting and one of them falls down a hill and loses consciousness.The other friend calls the ambulance to get help!
The lady on the phone says the ambulance is not close so they need to take some steps themselves.
She says most importantly we need to make sure if he's dead.
There's complete silence for a minute and a loud boom goes off.
The friend picks the phone back up and says:
Now What?
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses.
His hunting buddy immediately calls 911.
"My friend isn't breathing," - he shouts into the phone, - "What should I do?"
"Relax," - the operator tells him, - "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says:
"OK, now what?"
Hunting gone wrong
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
I think my friend is dead! he yells. What can I do?
The operator says, Calm down. First, let's make sure he's dead.
There's a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, OK, now what?
Hunting Gone Horribly Wrong
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
I think my friend is dead! he yells. What can I do?
The operator says, Calm down. First, let's make sure he's dead.
There's a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, OK, now what?
A man calls 911
A man calls 911, frantically telling the operator that there has been a hunting accident.
"My friend tripped and dropped his shotgun. It went off, and he accidentally shot himself. He is bleeding, and I don't know what to do. I think he might be dead."
"Okay", the operator says. "Please try to stay calm. First, we need to make sure he is dead".
"Okay", the man says.
The operator listens to an extended silence, followed by a gunshot.
"Okay", the man says. "Now what?"
Two hunters are out in the woods
...when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
I think my friend is dead! he yells. What can I do?
The operator says, Calm down. First, let's make sure he's dead.
There's a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, OK, now what?
Two hunters are out in the woods.
When one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed, so his friend calls 911. "My friend is dead! What should I do?" The operator replies, "Calm down, sir. I can help. First make sure that he's dead." There's a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Ok, now what?"
Two hunters joke
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guys says "OK, now what?"
A couple of Blondes are out in the woods hunting.......
When one of them falls to the ground and her eyes close. The other blonde whips out her cell phone and calls 911. She gasps to the operator, Help! Help! My friend Holly is dead! What should I do? The operator, in a calm voice, says, Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure she's really dead.
After a brief silence, a shot rings out, then the blonde's voice comes back on the line. OK, now what?
A guy is spending his first night in prison
He hears someone in another cell shout out "37!" and the whole cell block bursts out laughing.
Another guy shouts out "74!" Same thing.
"46!" and everyone loses their minds.
He asks his cellmate "What's going on? Why are the numbers so funny?"
"Well we've all been here so long we remember all the jokes by heart. To save time we just give them numbers and tell those instead."
"Oh I think I understand. Let me try. 63!"
There's dead silence.
The new guy says "What's wrong, is that one not funny?"
"Nah, it's a good one. Some people just don't know how tell a joke."
Two hunters walk through the woods...
Suddenly, one of them grabs his chests, grunts... and falls to the ground...
The other immediately takes out his phone and calls 911. He explains the situation to the operator and says his college is dead.
The operator says: "Are you sure? Is he really dead?"... silence
The operator then hears a gunshot... The hunter says: "Yeah, he's dead... What do I do now?"