Dead Rat Jokes
9 dead rat jokes and hilarious dead rat puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dead rat that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Dead Rat Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good dead rat joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
The woman and her chili.
A man walks into a bar and notices a woman sitting at a table. In front of her on the table is a full bowl of chili. Since the man is very hungry, he asks her if he can have her chili. She agrees, giving him the bowl. The man starts to quickly put spoonfuls into his mouth. As he gets to the end of the chili, he sees a dead rat at the bottom. This causes him to v**... back into the bowl.
In response, the woman said: "Yep, that's about as far as I got too."
Original content on YouTube
Guess I'll just tase a rat or fake a near-death experience while skydiving just cause I recently shot a dead man
A man walks into a diner one day and orders a bowl of chili but the waitress says she gave the last of it to a guy sitting nearby who is just staring at it.
After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, "Are you going to eat that?"
The second man replies, "No, you can have it if you want."
So the first man takes the bowl and starts eating.
About halfway through the bowl, he's chewing when he feels a crunch. He looks down only to see half a dead rat sitting in the chili.
He immediately throws all of it up, back into the bowl.
The second man looks at him and says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got too."
Cold stew
A man walks into a diner, he see the special of the day, is cold stew and asks the waitress for a bowl of it. The waitress says "Sorry the guy at the next table just got the last bowl."
"Thats fine" he replies "Ill just have a cup of coffee" as he sits drinking the coffee he notices the guy at the next table eating a sandwich drinking a coffee but not touching the stew. He leans in and asks "are you going to eat that?"
"No, no, you can go ahead." the man says. He takes the stew and starts eatting, not great, but not terrible, and its free. About half way through the bowl he comes across a dead rat at the bottom of the bowl, he up and vomits back into the bowl. The guy at the next table leans over and says "Yea, thats how far I made it."
A homeless man walks into a Wendy's...
... tired, cold, and very hungry, with an urge to use the bathroom. As he approaches the bathroom, he sees a man just sitting with a bowl of chili in front of him, an odd look on his face. Hungry, the homeless man asks the man with the chili if he's going to finish it. The man says no, and gives him the chili. The homeless man starts devouring it, and about after eating about half of the bowl, notices a dead rat. He throws back up into the chili, and the man who gave it to him says with a smile on his face: "Yeah, that's about how far I got too."
Cold Stew
A Man walks into a diner, he sees they have a special "today only" on Cold Stew. He sits down at the diner table and asks the waitress to order a bowl. "im sorry sir." she replies "The gentleman beside you just ordered the last bowl."
"thats alright, ill just have a coffee."
sitting drinking his coffee he notices the guy next to him drinking a coffee eating a sandwich but not really touching the stew so he leans over "Hey man, you gonna eat that?"
"No, No, you go ahead" the mans replies
Pulling the bowl towards himself he begins to dig in, has a unique bittery taste not awful, just curious, but its free and its not the worst stew hes eaten so he continues vigirously. Halfway into the bowl of stew he discovers a large dead rat at the bottom of the bowl, without missing a beat the man up and pukes back up into the bowl. Disgusted with the meal and himself wiping the spit and remanants of p**... from his chin the man next to him leans over and says
"Yea, thats how far I made it..."
What do you call a dead baby, a rat, 6 week old bread and a gherkin?
A Big Mac.
A guy walks into a chili restraunt...
... and orders a bowl of chili. "Sorry sir, but we just sold our last bowl to that man over there." Said the cashier as he pointed to a man sitting at a table across the room.
The guy walks over to the man and notices has plenty of food and hasn't touched his chili.
"Hey, are you going to eat that chili?" He asked.
"Oh no. You can have it if you'd like it." The man responded.
The guy sits down and begins to eat the chili. When he gets to the bottom, he sees a dead rat in the bowl and throws up all of the chili back into the bowl.
The man across the table says "that's about as far as I got too."
A man walks into a restaurant...
and sits down at the bar. He orders a bowl of chili, but the waiter tells him the man next to him got the last bowl. He looks over and sees that the other guy has a full bowl of chili and is just staring at it.
He says, "If you're not going to eat that, can I have it?"
The other guy tells him to go ahead, so he takes the chili and starts eating it. About halfway finished with it, his fork hits something hard in the chili. He sees it's a dead rat and throws up in the bowl.
The guy next to him says, "That's as far as I got too."
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