Dead Jokes

• Short Dead Jokes
• Dead One Liners
• Walking Dead Jokes
• Dead Body Jokes
• Dead Baby Jokes
• Dead Dad Jokes
• More Dead Jokes

Funniest Dead Short Jokes

Short dead jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dead humour may include short death jokes also.

1. TIL unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic Because they are more likely to be dead
   
2. What's the difference between North Korea and the US? North Koreans can't tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can't tell if their leader is dead serious.
3. My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I got her an identical one. She was livid, "what am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
4. Scientists have discovered another deadly pathogen they are calling the Peekaboo virus. Doctors are sending anyone with peekaboo straight to ICU.
5. My girlfriend's dog died so I got her an identical one She got even more upset and shouted at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
6. Whenever I'm in trouble, I ask myself what Jesus would do now. And then I play dead and disappear from the scene for three days.
7. A new study shows that unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic Because they are more likely to be dead.
8. The doctor told me I had only six months to live, so I shot him dead. The judge gave me fifteen years. Problem solved.
9. How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb? Obviously not 8, because its still dark in my basement.
10. Difference between a cult and a religion In a cult, there's a guy at the top that knows it's a scam.
    In a religion, that guy is dead.

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Dead One Liners

Which dead one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dead? I can suggest the ones about alive and deceased.

1. Pun enters a room, kills 10 people Pun in, 10 dead
2. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because they're dead
3. Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? Cause they're dead.
4. What lies on its back, 100 feet in the air? A dead centipede.
5. A flashbang would be completely ineffective against Helen Keller. Because she's dead.
6. "Dead or alive, you're coming with me." Great movie quote, terrible pickup line…
7. Why cant michael jackson go within 500m of a school zone... Because he's dead
8. dark Humour is like anti-vax families There's usually a dead baby.
9. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they are dead.
10. Why was Buzzfeed's editor found dead in the bathroom? Because number two shocked him.
11. I gave away all my dead batteries today.. free of charge.
12. A pun walks in and kills 10 people... Pun in, ten dead.
13. Schrodinger's Cat recently went on a crime spree He's wanted dead and alive
14. McAfee not dead actually.. He is still running in the background.
15. Why is Michael Jackson bad at bowling? Because He's dead.

Walking Dead Jokes

Here is a list of funny walking dead jokes and even better walking dead puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What's got two eyes, but can't see, two wings, but can't fly, and two legs, but can't walk? A dead bird.
• A pun walks into a room and kills ten people Pun in, ten dead
• What does The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones and Fast and Furious have in common? All their Walkers are dead
• 2 blondes were walking along a beach when one said, "Look! A dead bird!" The other looked up.
• a pun walked in, killed 10 people, the news paper headline was.. Pun in, 10 dead.
• A pun walks into a room… A pun walks into a room and kills ten people.
  Pun in, ten dead.
• Two blondes were walking in a park ...when one of them said: "Look, a dead bird!" The other one looked up in the sky and asked "where?"
• A dead bird A blonde was walking with her father, when her father said "look! It's a dead bird! That's so sad!"
  The blonde then quickly looked up in the sky and said "Where?"
• So Godzilla walks into a bar... The entire building is destroyed. 23 people are missing and presumed dead.
• A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street when the brunette says, Aww… look a dead bird.
  The blonde looks up at the sky and says, Where? …

Dead Body Jokes

Here is a list of funny dead body jokes and even better dead body puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• If you give a monkey a typewriter, it will eventually write Shakespeare... ...If you give a monkey a camcorder, it will eventually film a dead body and post it to the internet.
• Hey guys, I just lost my virginity yesterday! What's the worst thing you've ever done to a dead body?
• What's the safest place to hide a dead body? Page 2 of Google search.
• What do you call a dead body and two planks? A "Build your own Jesus" kit.
• You want to become a necrophiliac? Over my dead body
• How many dead How many dead bodies does it take to change a lightbulb?.
  .
  .
  Well its not 6 cause my basement is still dark.
• A treehouse is cruel... It's like killing someone and then making their friends hold the dead body.
• Man, you gotta hand it to Elon Musk… He knows how to dispose of a dead body in style.
• Where is the best place to hide a dead body? On the second page of a Google result.
• The necrophiliac thought she was sleeping with a dead body But then he came to.

Dead Baby Jokes

Here is a list of funny dead baby jokes and even better dead baby puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently more than 40, because my basement's still dark
• what is the best thing about dead baby jokes? they never get old
• How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Definitely not 9, my basement is still dark
• I was going to cover my bathroom floor with dead baby skin... My wife told be that would be infant tile.
• A dark sense of humor is like a hospital. Lots of sickness and occasionally dead babies.
• What is the difference between an art student and a dead baby? The dead baby can feed a family of four.
• Why are bad jokes like dead babies? Usually, something went wrong with the delivery.
• How many dead babies do you need to change a light bulb? Well, apparently not 11, my flat is still dark.
• How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Must be more than 9 cause my basement's still dark.
• How many dead babies does it take to fix a light bulb? Someone please tell me, I have 23 in my basement and the light is still broken.

Dead Dad Jokes

Here is a list of funny dead dad jokes and even better dead dad puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A dad asks his son, "What has four legs but isn't alive?" The son says,"Nice try dad, a chair!"
  "Not this time son, our dog is dead"
• Dad: What has 4 legs and isn't alive? Me: You can't fool me dad! Its a chair!
  Dad: Not this time son. Get a shovel, the dog's dead
• A dad joke "Dad I'm hungry."
  "Hi hungry, I'm dead."
  "Haha, you mean dad."
  "No. I have inoperable brain cancer."
  "...wha-"
  "I've been waiting for the right moment to tell you."
• Therapist: what would you say to your dad if he were alive today? Me: sorry for cremating you, I honestly thought you were dead.
• I'm sure wherever my dad is he's looking down on us. He's not dead, just very condescending.
• l accidentally played 'dad' instead of 'dead' when the bear attacked. Now it can ride a bike without
  stabilizers.
• Driving past a cemetery: dad: "did you know that all the people who live around here aren't allowed to be buried in that cemetery?"
  me: "really? why not?"
  dad: "because they're not dead yet."
• My doctor: Say 'hi' to your dad Me: but he is dead
  My doctor: I know
  ...
• The ultimate Dad Joke A father, on his deathbed, with his son crying over him.
  Son: "I'm so sad"
  Father: "Hi sad"... leans in and whispers, I'm dead."
  Keels over and dies.
• I accidentally played dad instead of dead when I ran into a bear Now he can ride a bike and has been through college.

Hilarious Fun Dead Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about dead you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean expired jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dead pranks.