Dead Grandmother Jokes
19 dead grandmother jokes and hilarious dead grandmother puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dead grandmother that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Dead Grandmother Short Jokes
Short dead grandmother jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dead grandmother humour may include short old grandma jokes also.
- I took my grandma to a new spa.. I took my grandmother to a new spa where they have little fish eat away at your dead skin for only $40.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery. - I recently had to bury my beloved grandmother in the local graveyard. She should be dead by now
- I took my grandmother to a place that for only 45$ they put you in a bath filled with fish that eat the dead skin off :) It was cheaper than cremation or a burial!
- My Grandmother and her friends are most likely going to vote for Hillary Clinton... It's a shame. They've been dead for 15 years
- My friend took his grandmother to one of those health spas where tiny fish eat all the dead skin... It cost him $300, but it was a lot cheaper than a f**......
Share These Dead Grandmother Jokes With Friends
Dead Grandmother One Liners
Which dead grandmother one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dead grandmother? I can suggest the ones about dead grandpa and old granny.
- We burried my grandmother last week... So she's probably dead by now.
- What has four wheels and flies? My dead grandmother.
- In the words of my dead grandmother...
Dead Grandmother Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about dead grandmother you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean grandmother jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dead grandmother pranks.
My grandmother always had an amazing way with words.
One day, I gave her a call after my grandfather had been put into a retirement home. I asked her how he was doing, she said, He's like a fish out of water. I asked, Is he finding it hard to fit in? And she replied, No, he's dead.
A boy walks in on his parents having s**...
The boy, traumatized, runs out of the bedroom.
"I'll go talk to him" the father says to his wife.
The father goes to the boy's room but he isn't there. The father checks the bathroom, but he isn't there. The father checks the living room, the kitchen and both yards to no avail. Finally, the Father checks Grandma's room and finds his son giving it long and hard to his grandmother.
"Oh my God!" The father exclaims. The son looks up and stares his dad dead in the eyes,
"Not so funny when it's your mother, is it Dad?"
Every night, before bed, a little girl prays...
The first night she prays: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa
The next day the grandfather dies
The second night she prays: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma
The next day the grandmother dies.
The next night she prays: Goodnight Mommy. Goodbye Daddy
The father hears this and goes into an immediate panic. He spends the following day with extra precautions, worried that it could happen at any moment, but nothing happens.
Upon arriving home, the father tells his wife about his day and she replied: You thought you had a bad day?!? The milkman dropped dead on our front porch this morning!
A 11-year-old child walks in on his parents...
having s**... and his father stops and sees his son with a worried face. The father says to the son while nervously laughing, "Don't worry, it's ok, I just love your mom, go to bed now." The son then goes into his grandmother's room. The father then searches for his son and finds him trying to have s**... with his grandmother, who is still dead asleep. The son looks up to his father's horrified face and says, "It's not so funny when it is your mother, is it?"
Little Suzie Goes Swimming in a lake
One day, Little Suzy goes swimming in the lake with her grandmother. After they get out they go to shower.
Grandma Little Suzy asks, pointing between her grandmother's legs. What's that?
Oh, her grandmother replies. That's my b**..., dear.
The next day Little Suzy goes swimming with her mother, and they go showering afterwards too. Mummy, is that your b**...? asks the girl.
Er, yes it is, Suzy. Where did you learn that? her mother answers.
From Grandma. But I think hers is dead because its tongue was sticking out.
That's my b**....
Little Johnny happened to wander into the guest bathroom one morning and noticed his grandmother taking a shower. After a moment of peering through the glass shower door, Johnny asked, "Grandma, what's that?" Startled, his grandmother replied, "That's my b**.... Now, run along and give me some privacy." Satisfied with her answer, Johnny ran off to play elsewhere. Several days later, Johnny wandered into his parents' bathroom where he witnessed his mother showering this time. Johnny pointed at his mother's c**... and declared, "Mommy, I know what that is!" His mother decided to humor the young lad. "Oh really, Johnny? What do you think it is?" "That's your b**..., mommy. Grandma has one too but hers is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."
Two brothers lived together
with their grandmother and her cat. The first brother went on a business trip, and when he arrived at his destination, he checked into his hotel, and called his brother at home. "I made it safe and sound" he said. "How is everything?"
"Bad" said the second brother. "The cat is dead."
"WHAT?!? How could you be so insensitive to tell me like that?" The first brother exclaimed. "You could have broken it to me slowly by saying the cat is on the roof, but you've called the fire department and they were trying to get her down. Later you could have called me and told me that the fire department got the cat down but she has a broken leg, so you are taking her to the veterinarian. Tomorrow you could have called me and told me despite the veterinarian's best efforts, the cat died."
"Sorry", said the second brother. "I'll remember that next time."
"Good", said the first brother. "By the way, how is Grandma?"
The second brother replied, "Oh, Grandma is on the roof."
One evening a father overheard his son saying his prayers "God bless Mommy, Daddy and Grammy.
Goodbye Grampa."
Well, the father thought it was strange, but he soon forgot about it.
The next day, the Grandfather died.
A month later the father heard his sony saying prayers again: "God bless Mommy. God bless Daddy. Goodbye Grammy."
The next day the grandmother died.
Well, the father was getting more than a little woried about the whole situation.
One week later, the father once again overheard his sons prayers.
"God Bless Mommy. Good bye Daddy."
This nearly gave the father a heart attack.
He didn’t say anything but he got up early to go to work, so that he would miss the traffic.
He stayed all through lunch and dinner.
Finally after midnight he went home.
He was still alive!
When he got home he appologised to his wife.
"I am sorry Honey. I had a very bad day at work today."
"You think you’ve had a bad day? YOU THINK YOU’VE HAD A BAD DAY!?" the wife yelled,
"The mailman dropped dead on my doorstep this morning!"