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Dead Chicken Jokes

40 dead chicken jokes and hilarious dead chicken puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dead chicken that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Dead Chicken Short Jokes

Short dead chicken jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dead chicken humour may include short dead bird jokes also.

  1. Dark Joke from my sister when she was 6. Her: How did the dead baby get across the road?
    Me: How?
    Her: It was stapled to the chicken.
    Me: .....
  2. What do you call What do you call a dead chicken that's haunting your house?
    A poultrygeist
  3. Anyone know how long you can put chicken in the freezer for? I put one in last night and when I checked it this morning, it was dead.
  4. it appears a chicken was found dead under mysterious circumstance. police suspect fowl play.
  5. I ordered a chicken and an egg off Craigslist The chicken was dead and the egg was cracked

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Dead Chicken One Liners

Which dead chicken one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dead chicken? I can suggest the ones about dead fish and dead dog.

  1. A chicken, duck and quail were found dead on a swing set. The police suspect fowl play
  2. A man was found dead on his chicken farm. I heard the police suspect fowl play.
  3. What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens? The Bawking Dead
  4. What do you call the spirit of a dead chicken? A poultrygeist.
  5. Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken
  6. I'm a butcher and I sell dead chickens at work They aren't going cheep
  7. What do you call a dead chicken that terrorizes people? A poultry-geist
  8. What did the farmer say to the dead chicken Where are you heading off to?
  9. What chicken lays the most? A dead one.
  10. I like my chicken how I like my women Dead
  11. Why is the chicken dead? He didn't look both ways.
  12. Its gone viral Bird flu - 45 million dead chickens and turkeys.
  13. How did the dead Baby get across the road? Stapled to the back of the Chicken!

Uproarious Dead Chicken Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about dead chicken you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dead horse jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dead chicken pranks.

NASA CHICKEN CANON

NASA engineers build a cannon that launches dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and such to test the strength of the windshields against collisions with airborne fowl.
British engineers are eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements are made, and a cannon is sent to the British engineers.
When the cannon goes off, the engineers stand shocked as the chicken crashes into the shatterproof shield, smashes it to smithereens, blasts through the control console, snaps the pilot's backrest in two, and embeds itself in the back wall of the cabin.
The horrified Brits send the Americans a report of the disastrous results, along with an urgent request for suggests on improving the windshield design.
The American engineers respond with a one-line memo: "Thaw the chicken."

What are our names?

A hen and her chick are having a talk.
"Why do humans have names, but us chickens don't? All we have is chicken, or hen.", asks the chick.
"Well, humans may have names when they are ALIVE, but when they are dead, they are only called ghosts.", Says the hen, "but, we have lots of names when we are dead. Such as chicken curry, fried chicken, roast chicken...."

My teacher put these onto our Word of the Day test in class today.

What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch? Chicken Spocks!
What animals are on legal documents? Seals!
What is a polygon? A dead parrot!

How long can you keep a chicken in the freezer?

I asked my neighbour, how long can you keep a chicken in the freezer?
She said, about a month or so
Me, that's strange, I put one in last night and this morning it was dead

So a city dandy decided to become a gentleman farmer...

And on his farm he decided to raise chickens. So down to the coop he goes to buy 50 chicks to raise on his farm.
Problem was that two weeks later they were all dead. So back down to the coop he goes. The man at the coop asked him why he was back for more chicks.
The dandy says "I can't say. Either I'm planting them too deep or too far apart".

Little Joe was at the farm, when he saw a dead chicken.

It was lying on its back, rigor mortis locking its legs in the air. He asks his dad why the chicken has his legs in the air. Dad, who's not exactly the brightest fellow, tells him that it's so that Jesus can reach down and pull them to heaven.
Later, at the family reunion, Joe runs to his dad crying.
"What's the matter?" Asked dad, concerned.
Little Joey cries "Mum nearly died! She was on her back with her legs in the air screaming 'Jesus I'm coming!' If it wasn't for uncle bruce holding her down she would've been gone forever!"

A young cowboy walks into the saloon.

He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chicken congee.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asked the old cowboy, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, "Nah, go ahead."
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning in it with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse. The sight was shocking and he immediately barfs up the congee back into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too."

Smart old rooster.

A chicken farmer brings home a new rooster for his hen house. The old rooster ask him for a favor. He says look im old and wore out but if you don't mind could you chase me around the coupe so it looks like I at least put up a fight for the chicken's. The young rooster agrees to do so and commits to chase the old rooster around the coupe. The farmer is sitting on his porch with a friend when he sees the new rooster chasing the old one around. So he grabs his gun and shoots the new rooster dead. The farmers friend asked why he shoot his new bird. The farmer replied thats the third gay rooster I bought this year.

the fowled experiment

scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
british engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. arrangements were made. but when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cab.
horrified the britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the US scientists for suggestions.
NASA's response was just three words, "thaw the chicken".