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Dead Baby Jokes

127 dead baby jokes and hilarious dead baby puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dead baby that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Dead Baby Short Jokes

Short dead baby jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dead baby humour may include short dead children jokes also.

  1. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently more than 40, because my basement's still dark
  2. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Definitely not 9, my basement is still dark
  3. I was going to cover my bathroom floor with dead baby skin... My wife told be that would be infant tile.
  4. What is the difference between an art student and a dead baby? The dead baby can feed a family of four.
  5. How many dead babies do you need to change a light bulb? Well, apparently not 11, my flat is still dark.
  6. How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Must be more than 9 cause my basement's still dark.
  7. How many dead babies does it take to fix a light bulb? Someone please tell me, I have 23 in my basement and the light is still broken.
  8. Dark Jokes? What's worse than 18 dead babies in a bucket? 1 baby in 18 different buckets.
    What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my Garage.
  9. Dark Joke from my sister when she was 6. Her: How did the dead baby get across the road?
    Me: How?
    Her: It was stapled to the chicken.
    Me: .....
  10. How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't know but it sure is not seven because my basement is still dark

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Dead Baby One Liners

Which dead baby one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dead baby? I can suggest the ones about dead body and unborn baby.

  1. dark Humour is like anti-vax families There's usually a dead baby.
  2. what is the best thing about dead baby jokes? they never get old
  3. A dark sense of humor is like a hospital. Lots of sickness and occasionally dead babies.
  4. Why are bad jokes like dead babies? Usually, something went wrong with the delivery.
  5. What do you call a dead baby ,who fights crime? Miscarriage of Justice
  6. What's worse than a plastic bag filled with dead babies? Nickelback
  7. How do you make a dead baby float ? Two scoops of ice-cream and one scoop of dead baby.
  8. What do you call a stroller with a dead Baby in it? A miscarriage.
  9. You know how to make a dead baby float? 2 scoops of dead baby and a coke....
  10. Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was attached to my bumper...
  11. How do you make a dead baby float? One glass of rootbeer and two scoops of dead baby.
  12. How do you make a dead baby float? Half a can of rootbeer. 2 scoops of dead baby.
  13. Hey baby, are you a body bag? Cuz you're dead inside.
  14. Dead memes are like dead babies They never get old.
  15. Today I saw a dead baby ghost... Upon reflection, it might have been a handkerchief.

Dead Baby joke, Today I saw a dead baby ghost...

Hilarious Fun Dead Baby Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about dead baby you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dead dog jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dead baby pranks.

What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!

Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac?
A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.

What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday?
A dead puppy!

Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies?
A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive.
Q: Whats worse then that?
A: He has to eat his way out.
Q: Whats worse then that?
A: He goes back for more.

What has more brains than a dead baby?
The wall behind it.

Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period".
His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells".
Johnny asks what color is it.
She says it's red.
Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."

I feel like every nature documentary is directed by a psychopath.
"Here's the cutest baby animal ever."
"Now let's watch something eat it."

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender?
A: I don't know, I just like to hear them scream.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Chips.

Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.

Sure women live longer than men, but we spend that extra time at awkward bridal and baby showers wishing we were dead, so I feel like it's a fair trade.

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.

Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.

Dead Baby Jokes?

A mother who has just given birth waits expectantly for the nurse to return so she can hold her baby. A few minutes pass, and the nurse enters with the baby in her hands. The nurse then drops the baby on the ground, stomps on it's head and kicks it out of the window. The mother starts screaming 'My baby, my baby!!'
The nurse looks at the lady and says 'April Fools! He was already dead!'

A married couple is having a baby...

As she is going into labor, the doctor asks the man, "would you like to take part in this new technology that allows half the pain of the pregnancy to be put on to the father." The husband accepts, and they go on with the birth. Afterwards they ask him how he felt, he replied, "I didn't feel anything I don't understand what the big deal is about this. Later that day, they find the postman dead at their house.

DEAD BABY JOKES: So what's the difference between a dead baby and dirt?

**I don't eat dirt.**

Dead Babies

What's worse than seven dead babies in a trash can?
One dead baby in seven trash cans.
What's your dead baby joke?

Dead babies

What's the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bricks ?
Only one can be emptied with a pitchfork.

What do Beethoven's 9th and a dead baby have in common?

They're both D-composed.

maternity ward

A woman and her husband are in the maternity ward where the woman is giving birth. As soon as the baby comes out the doctor grabs it and starts flailing it around beating it on the table and walls. 10 seconds later as couple is freaking out he stops and says "Haha, Just kidding. It was already dead."

Dead Baby Jokes Thread!

I assume there's another one of these, but let's bring some freshness. I'll start us off.
Q: How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
A: Nail its other hand to the floor.

How do you get 1000 dead babies into a phone booth?

A blender.
How do you get them out?
Tostitos

What's the difference between a million dollar car and a pile of dead babies?

There's no million dollar car in my garage.

Why did the dead baby cross the road?

I´ve been practicing my drop kick

Pronounced 'Dead' on arrival ... oops!

The soon to be new parents known as Mr. & Mrs. D. were so excited, as they were just about to give birth to their brand new daughter, whom they'd already decided to name Dea D..
Just a few minutes later, a healthy baby girl popped out but was unfortunately pronounced 'Dead' on arrival by the attending nurse who apparently had significant issues with letter spacing on medical charts.

What's the difference between a redwood and a dead baby?

A redwood won't fit in a wood chipper.

What's the difference between a h**... and a dead baby?

One makes you feel sick and the other one is free!

I was walking along the road the other day when I saw a dead, baby ghost...

...however if I think about it it was probably a handkerchief

How many dead babies does it take to fill up my house?

One more.

What ever happened to dead baby jokes?

They all seem to have died off soon after their birth.

What's worse than finding a dead baby in the garbage can?

Finding a dead baby in the recycle bin.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a bag of c**...?

Eric Clapton never lost a bag of coke out the window.

I'm not sure how I feel about Pro Choice.

I mean, I am all for dead babies, but I don't like giving women choices...

Give us your most offensive joke (with one challenge)

No Jew, black, Helen Keller or dead baby jokes.
Feeds are always filled with those. Let's see something different.

Dead baby joke

What's the difference between a dead baby and mistletoe?
I don't hang mistletoe at Christmas time

What do you call a dead baby on the side of the road?

Cheaper than a p**....

What do you call a dead baby hanging on a wall?

Art

dead baby jokes

Q. whats more fun than spinning a dead baby around at 50mph?
A. stopping it with a shovel.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead gorilla?

There aren't any dead babies at the Cincinnati Zoo.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche?

I don't have a Porsche sitting in my garage

A doctor brings new born baby to father

Doctor walks up to the father with baby in arms. He starts repeatedly punching it, k**... it and then throws it in the ground and stomps on it. The father was in shock with his jaw dropped. The doctor then says "just kidding, it was already dead"

How do you find an alive baby in a pile of dead babies?

With a pitchfork!

How do you make a dead baby float?

2 scoops vanilla, 1 scoop dead baby.

What's 18 inches long, and makes a woman scream the entire night?

Her dead baby.

What's the difference between a dead white baby and a dead black baby?

Another twenty minutes in the microwave.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies?

I haven't got a Ferrari in my garage

What's difference between 10 dead babies and Lamborghini?

I don't have Lamborghini in my garrage

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?

A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.

When someone botched a joke.

Teacher: "Two cannibals are eating a clown. One clown says to the other 'does this taste funny?' "
Class: "umm"
Me to friend: "that was like a dead baby..."
Friend: "what?"
Me: "poor delivery"
This is probably the first joke I actually came up with myself. It felt good.

What's harder than nailing 10 dead babies to a tree?

Nailing one dead baby to 10 trees.

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the dead baby in my microwave?

Isaac Newton died a v**...

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche?

I've never been inside a Porsche. Nor do I have 12 Porsches in my garage.

How do you make...

How do you make a dead baby float?
With a scoop of ice cream.
How do you make a dead baby shake?
Cup of milk
2 cups of fruit
A dead baby and a blender
How do you make a dead baby split?
A sharp axe and a strong swing.

How do you make a dead baby float?

Easy!
Just add Root beer and Ice Cream!

Q: What goes at 100 mph and makes a "s**...," "s**...," "s**..." sound?

A: A dead baby tied to a truck.

What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?

A dead baby in 6 trash cans.

I saw a dead baby gohst laying on the ground this morning.

Turns out it was just a tissue.

How do you make a dead baby float?

-2 scoops vanilla icecream
-2 scoops baby
-Add rootbeer and serve

Why doesn't anything I plant bloom?

Dead babys don't grow up.

What is furry and red all over?

A wolf eating a baby.
(Just wanted to know if dead baby jokes still hit a note)

How do you know if a dead baby is vegan?

Don't worry, the parents will tell you.

How do you make a dead baby float?

You take your foot off its head.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
Sorry if this is a repost.

What's the difference between dead babies and pineapples?

I wouldn't dare put pineapple on my pizza.

My friend said "you are what you eat"

TIL I'm a dead baby

So a doctor is delivering a baby

He walks out of the delivery room, said to a worried looking man:
" we tried our best, your wife survived, but your children...."
After hearing the news the man started to cry, then the doctor said:
"today is April's fool's day! And I'm just kidding with you"
The man's face brightening the doctor continued:
"Your wife is dead too"

Joke rules for my house:

First of all, most all jokes are acceptable in this house.. except abortion jokes. Because jokes are all about the delivery...
Absolutely no p**... jokes. Period. No s**... assault jokes.. thats a touchy subject. Dead baby jokes on the other hand.. never get old!

Me and my Friend were reading dead baby jokes

Then he turns to me and says " man these are so dark they might get shot by a cop"

Dead Baby joke, Me and my Friend were reading dead baby jokes

jokes about dead baby