Dead Baby Jokes

Following is our collection of nsfl puns and infant one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Dead Baby jokes for adults, dirty nursery jokes and clean braindead dad gags for kids.

The Best Dead Baby Puns

Dark Humour is like anti-vax families

There's usually a dead baby.

I was going to cover my bathroom floor with dead baby skin...

My wife told be that would be infant tile.

What is the difference between an art student and a dead baby?

The dead baby can feed a family of four.

When someone botched a joke.

Teacher: "Two cannibals are eating a clown. One clown says to the other 'does this taste funny?' "

Class: "umm"

Me to friend: "that was like a dead baby..."

Friend: "what?"

Me: "poor delivery"



This is probably the first joke I actually came up with myself. It felt good.

I put together a list of 288 dead baby jokes to post.

I decided not to post them because it would be two gross.


What do you call a dead baby ,who fights crime?

Miscarriage of Justice

Joke rules for my house:

First of all, most all jokes are acceptable in this house.. except abortion jokes. Because jokes are all about the delivery...
Absolutely no PMS jokes. Period. No sexual assault jokes.. thats a touchy subject. Dead baby jokes on the other hand.. never get old!

How do you make a dead baby float ?

Two scoops of ice-cream and one scoop of dead baby.

What do you call a stroller with a dead Baby in it?

A miscarriage.

Dark Joke from my sister when she was 6.

Her: How did the dead baby get across the road?

Me: How?

Her: It was stapled to the chicken.

Me: .....

You know how to make a dead baby float?

2 scoops of dead baby and a coke....


Why did the dead baby cross the road?

It was attached to my bumper...

What the difference between a dead baby and a bag of cocaine.

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out of a window

How do you make a dead baby float?

One glass of rootbeer and two scoops of dead baby.

How do you make...

How do you make a dead baby float?
With a scoop of ice cream.

How do you make a dead baby shake?
Cup of milk
2 cups of fruit
A dead baby and a blender

How do you make a dead baby split?
A sharp axe and a strong swing.

How do you make a dead baby float?

Half a can of rootbeer. 2 scoops of dead baby.

Today I saw a dead baby ghost...

Upon reflection, it might have been a handkerchief.

Me and my Friend were reading dead baby jokes

Then he turns to me and says " man these are so dark they might get shot by a cop"

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?

A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.


What do you call a dead baby on the side of the road?

Cheaper than a prostitute.

What do Beethoven's 9th and a dead baby have in common?

They're both D-composed.

dead baby jokes

Q. whats more fun than spinning a dead baby around at 50mph?
A. stopping it with a shovel.

What's harder than nailing 10 dead babies to a tree?

Nailing one dead baby to 10 trees.

How many dead baby's does it take to change a light bulb?

Not 53 because my basement is still dark

How do you make a dead baby float?

Easy!

Just add Root beer and Ice Cream!

DEAD BABY JOKES: So what's the difference between a dead baby and dirt?

**I don't eat dirt.**

How do you make a dead baby float?

You take your foot off its head.

How do you make a dead baby float?

-2 scoops vanilla icecream

-2 scoops baby

-Add rootbeer and serve

Dead Baby Jokes Thread!

I assume there's another one of these, but let's bring some freshness. I'll start us off.

Q: How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
A: Nail its other hand to the floor.

What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?

A dead baby in 6 trash cans.

What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!

Dirty dead baby jokes?

My dad told me some pretty bad ones, so I guess let's collectively get them out there

Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Cadillac?

A: I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?

A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.

What's 18 inches long, and makes a woman scream the entire night?

Her dead baby.

What has more brains than a dead baby?
The wall behind it.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead gorilla?

There aren't any dead babies at the Cincinnati Zoo.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche?

I don't have a Porsche sitting in my garage

I saw a dead baby gohst laying on the ground this morning.

Turns out it was just a tissue.

Whats the difference between a driveway and a dead baby?

No one cares when you pull out of a driveway.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche?

I've never been inside a Porsche. Nor do I have 12 Porsches in my garage.

How do you know if a dead baby is vegan?

Don't worry, the parents will tell you.

Dead Baby Jokes?

A mother who has just given birth waits expectantly for the nurse to return so she can hold her baby. A few minutes pass, and the nurse enters with the baby in her hands. The nurse then drops the baby on the ground, stomps on it's head and kicks it out of the window. The mother starts screaming 'My baby, my baby!!'
The nurse looks at the lady and says 'April Fools! He was already dead!'

Dead Babies

What's worse than seven dead babies in a trash can?



One dead baby in seven trash cans.

What's your dead baby joke?

Why did the dead baby cross the road?

IΒ΄ve been practicing my drop kick

What's the best part about dead baby jokes?

They never get old.

I was going to tell a dead baby joke

But I decided to abort

What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday?
A dead puppy!

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton never lost a bag of coke out the window.

Give us your most offensive joke (with one challenge)

No Jew, black, Helen Keller or dead baby jokes.

Feeds are always filled with those. Let's see something different.

My friend said "you are what you eat"

TIL I'm a dead baby

What's the difference between a hooker and a dead baby?

One makes you feel sick and the other one is free!

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the dead baby in my microwave?

Isaac Newton died a virgin

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?


I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

Sorry if this is a repost.

What's better than swinging a dead baby in circles around your head on a 5 ft rope?

stopping it with a shovel.

How do you make a dead baby float?

2 scoops vanilla, 1 scoop dead baby.

Anti vaxx jokes allow dead baby jokes to live on.

Unlike the non vaccinated kids.

What ever happened to dead baby jokes?

They all seem to have died off soon after their birth.

There is an abundance of lifeless jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 56 funniest jokes and dead baby puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any death witze you can hear about dead baby.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes