The Best 56 Dead Baby Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dead Baby jokes. There are some dead baby infant jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dead baby braindead puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Dead Baby Jokes and Puns

What's funnier than a dead baby?

A dead baby in a clown costume!

Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies?

A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive.



Q: Whats worse then that?

A: He has to eat his way out.

Q: Whats worse then that?

A: He goes back for more.

What has more brains than a dead baby?

The wall behind it.

Dead Baby joke

Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.

Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.

The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.


How do you make a dead baby float?

One glass of rootbeer and two scoops of dead baby.

A married couple is having a baby...

As she is going into labor, the doctor asks the man, "would you like to take part in this new technology that allows half the pain of the pregnancy to be put on to the father." The husband accepts, and they go on with the birth. Afterwards they ask him how he felt, he replied, "I didn't feel anything I don't understand what the big deal is about this. Later that day, they find the postman dead at their house.

Dead Baby joke, A married couple is having a baby...

DEAD BABY JOKES: So what's the difference between a dead baby and dirt?

**I don't eat dirt.**

Today I saw a dead baby ghost...

Upon reflection, it might have been a handkerchief.

Dark Jokes?

What's worse than 18 dead babies in a bucket? 1 baby in 18 different buckets.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my Garage.

Dead babies

What's the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bricks ?

Only one can be emptied with a pitchfork.

You can explore dead baby nsfl reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dead baby nursery dad jokes. There are also dead baby puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I was going to cover my bathroom floor with dead baby skin...

My wife told be that would be infant tile.

What do Beethoven's 9th and a dead baby have in common?

They're both D-composed.

maternity ward

A woman and her husband are in the maternity ward where the woman is giving birth. As soon as the baby comes out the doctor grabs it and starts flailing it around beating it on the table and walls. 10 seconds later as couple is freaking out he stops and says "Haha, Just kidding. It was already dead."

Dead Baby Jokes Thread!

I assume there's another one of these, but let's bring some freshness. I'll start us off.

Q: How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
A: Nail its other hand to the floor.

Why did the dead baby cross the road?

It was attached to my bumper...

Dead Baby joke, Why did the dead baby cross the road?

Dark Joke from my sister when she was 6.

Her: How did the dead baby get across the road?

Me: How?

Her: It was stapled to the chicken.

Me: .....

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Definitely not 9, my basement is still dark

I'm not sure how I feel about Pro Choice.

I mean, I am all for dead babies, but I don't like giving women choices...


What do you call a dead baby on the side of the road?

Cheaper than a prostitute.

How do you make a dead baby float ?

Two scoops of ice-cream and one scoop of dead baby.

A dark sense of humor is like a hospital.

Lots of sickness and occasionally dead babies.

Dead memes are like dead babies

They never get old.

What do you call a dead baby ,who fights crime?

Miscarriage of Justice

dead baby jokes

Q. whats more fun than spinning a dead baby around at 50mph?
A. stopping it with a shovel.

Why are bad jokes like dead babies?

Usually, something went wrong with the delivery.

What's worse than a plastic bag filled with dead babies?

Nickelback

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?

A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Apparently more than 40, because my basement's still dark

When someone botched a joke.

Teacher: "Two cannibals are eating a clown. One clown says to the other 'does this taste funny?' "

Class: "umm"

Me to friend: "that was like a dead baby..."

Friend: "what?"

Me: "poor delivery"

This is probably the first joke I actually came up with myself. It felt good.

What's harder than nailing 10 dead babies to a tree?

Nailing one dead baby to 10 trees.

How do you make...

How do you make a dead baby float?
With a scoop of ice cream.

How do you make a dead baby shake?
Cup of milk
2 cups of fruit
A dead baby and a blender

How do you make a dead baby split?
A sharp axe and a strong swing.

How do you make a dead baby float?

Easy!

Just add Root beer and Ice Cream!

What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?

A dead baby in 6 trash cans.

What is the difference between an art student and a dead baby?

The dead baby can feed a family of four.

How do you make a dead baby float?

-2 scoops vanilla icecream

-2 scoops baby

-Add rootbeer and serve

You know how to make a dead baby float?

2 scoops of dead baby and a coke....

How do you make a dead baby float?

You take your foot off its head.

What's the difference between dead babies and pineapples?

I wouldn't dare put pineapple on my pizza.

So a doctor is delivering a baby

He walks out of the delivery room, said to a worried looking man:

" we tried our best, your wife survived, but your children...."

After hearing the news the man started to cry, then the doctor said:

"today is April's fool's day! And I'm just kidding with you"

The man's face brightening the doctor continued:

"Your wife is dead too"

Joke rules for my house:

First of all, most all jokes are acceptable in this house.. except abortion jokes. Because jokes are all about the delivery...
Absolutely no PMS jokes. Period. No sexual assault jokes.. thats a touchy subject. Dead baby jokes on the other hand.. never get old!

Me and my Friend were reading dead baby jokes

Then he turns to me and says " man these are so dark they might get shot by a cop"

I put together a list of 288 dead baby jokes to post.

I decided not to post them because it would be two gross.

What do you call a stroller with a dead Baby in it?

A miscarriage.

How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't know but it sure is not seven because my basement is still dark

Dark Humour is like anti-vax families

There's usually a dead baby.

A father is waiting for his newborn child outside a hospital

A doctor comes out holding the child by the leg, and walks over to the man. The father asks: "Is it a girl or a boy?". But the doctor smashes the baby on the concrete wall, and the father faints. The father wakes up on a hospital bed in a room, and the doctor is staring at him with a grin. The doctor says: "Alright alright i was joking, the baby was dead before it was even born".

A doctor comes out to the maternity ward waiting room holding a newborn baby and suddenly drops him to the floor.

Seeing the father's shocked face, he laughs and says: "Haha, got you. Don't worry, he was born dead".

Dirty dead baby jokes?

My dad told me some pretty bad ones, so I guess let's collectively get them out there

Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Cadillac?

A: I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?

A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.

How do you make a dead baby float?

Half a can of rootbeer. 2 scoops of dead baby.

What the difference between a dead baby and a bag of cocaine.

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out of a window

How many dead baby's does it take to change a light bulb?

Not 53 because my basement is still dark

How many dead babies does it take to fix a light bulb?

Someone please tell me, I have 23 in my basement and the light is still broken.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Must be more than 9 cause my basement's still dark.

How many dead babies do you need to change a light bulb?

Well, apparently not 11, my flat is still dark.

Hey baby, are you a body bag?

Cuz you're dead inside.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dead baby lifeless jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dead baby death piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes