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Days Of The Week Jokes

30 days of the week jokes and hilarious days of the week puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about days of the week that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Days Of The Week Short Jokes

Short days of the week jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The days of the week humour may include short week start jokes also.

  1. They say never go food shopping when you're hungry but it's been over a week now and every day I just get hungrier.
  2. What soaps are used to keep men away? Deter-gents
    Day 4 of posting soapy dad jokes for a week!
  3. So I brought a world map and asked my wife to shoot a dart on it and wherever it lands, I will take her there for two weeks when pandemic ends. It's her day 5 behind the fridge.
  4. In a couple weeks, all gas stations are going to cut prices in half for a whole day April Fuels!
  5. Don't buy Colgate whitening toothpaste! It says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days.
    It's been 2 weeks and I'm still Asian.
  6. My girlfriend left me 6 weeks ago because she thinks I'm immature. Now I'm all alone on Christmas day and crying my eyes out because Santa didn't come.
  7. A banana a day they said was good for cleaning the colon It was a week before I realised you have to eat them
  8. My doctor he dont help either, he told me to run 5 Miles a Day for two weeks I called him up I said "Doc im 70 miles from my house"
    -Rodney Dangerfield
  9. My mother-in-law fell down our well last week but she is fine she stopped crying for help 2 days ago
  10. Marriage is like having your favorite meal every day... At first, it's great! But after a week, you're thinking, "Eh, I kinda feel like having Asian tonight."

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Days Of The Week One Liners

Which days of the week one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with days of the week? I can suggest the ones about day of rest and sunday friday.

  1. What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
  2. I said hi to a feminist the other day My trial starts next week.
  3. I started a diet two weeks ago So far I've lost 14 days
  4. A friend of mine jointed a nudist camp last week he said the first day was the hardest.
  5. Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.. Give a fish a man, it'll eat for a week.
  6. Why are Saturday and Sunday strong? Because all the other days are week days.
  7. What's the tastiest day of the week? Fryday
  8. What is ice cream’s favorite day of the week? Sundae.
  9. Couples usually break up after 7 days Because they have a week relationship at that point
  10. Fathers' Day may happen every year... But Son Day happens every week!
  11. I love garbage day... Once a week my street celebrates me
  12. On what day of the week do chickens hide? Fry-day.
  13. What's a dog's favourite day of the week? Chewsday
  14. I've decided to adopt a 4 day work week I really hope my boss doesn't find out.
  15. What is Loki's least favorite day of the week? Thor's Day

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about days of the week can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of days of the week puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Laughter Days Of The Week Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about days of the week you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean saturday sunday jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make days of the week prank.

Why are Saturday and Sunday the strongest days of the week?

Because Monday through Friday are weekdays.

What are the strongest days of the week?

Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weekdays.
I know, I know... even I'm ashamed of myself for posting this!

How many days of the week start with t?

It depends. If you are American it's two, but if you are British then pretty much every day of the week starts with tea.

What does the days of the week pour out of for a drink on a hot day?

A jug of leMondayade.

What are the strongest days of the week?

I'm really doing well in my program to quit smoking.

...now I am only smoking on days of the week ending in the letter "y."

Five days of the week, my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park!

Just announced that they are changing all the days of the week to Chuckdays.
Happy Chuckday everyone!

Yo mama's so dumb that Rebecca Black taught her the days of the week.

How do Canadians spell their days of the week?

Mondeh, Tuesdeh, Wednesdeh....

Homer wants to be a cop

Homer applied for a job with the L.A.P.D. The Chief told him everything looked good to hire him but first he would need to answer some questions.
1st Question: "What is one and one?" Homer thought about it for a few minutes and then replied "eleven". Chief scratched his head in disbelief and said "Well, that's sure right."
2nd Question: "What two days of the week begin with the letter T." Homer grinned and quickly replied, "Awe, That's easy, today and tomorrow." Chief just looked shocked and said that's right.
3rd Question: "Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Homer replied, "Gosh, I don't know."
The Chief told him, "No problem, go home and work on it and come back tomorrow."
That night Homer was at the bar with his buddies when one asked if he got hired at the PD today.
"Heck, yah"... replied Homer, "And I'm already assigned to a m**... case."
:)

Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven...

...he is greeted by St. Peter. St. Peter says, "Forrest, to get into heaven, you're going to need to answer three questions.
1. How many days of the week start with the letter T?
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
3. What is God's first name?
Forrest thinks long and hard about these three questions. Finally, he goes up to the angel and says, "I've got my answers sir."
Peter: "Okay, Forrest. How many days of the week start with the letter T?"
Forrest: "Why, today and tomorrow of course!"
Peter, slightly surprised, says "well, that wasn't the answer I was expecting, but that is correct. Next, how many seconds are there in a year?"
Forrest: "Twelve."
Peter: "Twelve?!"
Forrest: "Yeah, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd..."
Peter's more astonished than before at these unexpected answers. "Again, not what I was expecting, but correct. Finally, what is God's first name?"
Forrest: "Harold."
Peter: "Harold?!"
Forrest: "Yeah, it says so right in the lord's prayer. 'Our Father, who art in heaven, Harold be thy name.'"

h**... tries to get into Heaven

Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gates, Saint Peter told him that, because of severe overcrowding, all prospective heavenly souls had to pass an intelligence test to gain admittance. Are you ready? St. Peter asked?
Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg shrugged.
Very well. Name two days of the week that begin with 'T.'
Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg thought and thought. He furrowed his brows and looked at his boots. Finally, his eyes lit up and he said, Today and Tomorrow.
St. Peter couldn't argue with that, so he moved on to the second question. How many seconds are there in one year?
Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg looked stumped and broke out in a sweat. He paced back and forth, kicked plumes of golden cloud dust, counted on his fingers and toes. Then it came to him: Twelve! he exclaimed.
St. Peter asked, Twelve? How did you come up with that?
Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg replied, January 2nd, February 2nd… There are 12 months and each of 'em's got at least two days.
St. Peter nodded. I can accept that! Now, for your final question: What is God's first name?
Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg smiled. Well, that's easy. It's Howard.
St. Peter stared at him. Howard? Where did you get that?
Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg explained, "From the prayer...'Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name...'"

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?"
"11" he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right."
"What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"
"Today and tomorrow."
He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."
"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant.
"It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a m**... case!"

jokes about days of the week

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these days of the week jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.