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Daycare Jokes

31 daycare jokes and hilarious daycare puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about daycare that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for the best daycare jokes? Look no further! We have compiled the funniest daycare jokes around to make your daycare teacher, friend, or children smile. Whether you are looking for jokes about a daycare for dogs, such as doggy daycare, or a traditional daycare in a city like Nashville, these daycare jokes will bring a chuckle!

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Funniest Daycare Short Jokes

Short daycare jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The daycare humour may include short child care jokes also.

  1. Police were called to a daycare yesterday... Police were called to a daycare yesterday because a 5 year old was resisting a rest.
  2. Why is it that your dogs have to be vaccinated to go to the park and daycare, but your kids don't have to be? Because it's sad when a dog dies.
  3. Did you hear about how the Police were called to a daycare yesterday? a three-year-old was resisting a rest
  4. All the kids at daycare were wearing each other's socks today when we picked our son up Must've been a busy trading day at the Sock Market
  5. If you can't find a good daycare for your baby... There's always the army. Just put them in the infantry.
  6. Got rejected from the daycare centre when I applied for a job last week "Former priest" is apparently not a sufficient qualification
  7. The daycare turned down my job application. Probably because I described myself as "a touchy-feely kind of guy"
  8. What's the difference between a bar and a daycare? It's easier to pick up girls at a daycare.
  9. LPT: If you've got toddlers at home, and you're going to take them out... You can probably get away with using a light sedative. Save chloroform for children 12 and older.
  10. My kid got kicked out of daycare today Turns out you can't just leave 'em out on the porch.

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Daycare One Liners

Which daycare one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with daycare? I can suggest the ones about nursery and babysitting.

  1. What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Rottweiler in a daycare centre.
  2. I donated some old board games to my local daycare. Hope those kids like Ouija Boards...
  3. Why did the pastor cross the road? Daycare.
  4. How do you get Cream of Mushroom in Pokemon? Put 2 Amoonguss' in the daycare.
  5. Police were called to a daycare... where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
  6. A man walks into a daycare with a child. He walks out in handcuff.
  7. My fwb's parents don't like me... ... Visiting her at daycare.
  8. What's the hardest part about working at a daycare? Me.
  9. Having s**... at work is alright As long as you don't work at a daycare
  10. I just got fired for having s**... at work Thats the last time I work at a daycare center
  11. That moment you're having s**... with your client And you realize you work at a daycare

Daycare joke, That moment you're having s**... with your client

Gather Around for Heartwarming Daycare Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about daycare you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean preschool jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make daycare pranks.

We have your Child!

A parent receives this text, "We have your child".
He panics and replies, "What are your demands. We will do anything. Please don't hurt our child"
He receives a reply, "Are you out of your mind? The daycare is closing soon. Come and get him now!"

Three year old goes to prison.

A police officer was investigating a noise complaint coming from a daycare in downtown Detroit. The officer realized that it was just a three year old kid k**... and screaming because he didn't want to nap during nap time. The officer charged the child with resisting a rest, and took him to prison.

I dated this girl at work once...

Now I'm unemployed, broke, and a registered s**... offender.
Never date the students at a daycare!

Police were called to my kids daycare today.

Apparently after lunch break several children were resisting a rest.

What would a Republican daycare look like?

Each child and baby would be in a fantastic cage. The best cages. A lot of people tell me these cages would be the best cages by far.

Daycare joke, What would a Republican daycare look like?