Day After Thanksgiving Jokes

53 day after thanksgiving jokes and hilarious day after thanksgiving puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about day after thanksgiving that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Day After Thanksgiving Short Jokes

Short day after thanksgiving jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The day after thanksgiving humour may include short after thanksgiving jokes also.

  1. Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day? He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.
  2. Thanksgiving is probably the only day that there are more searches for "stuffing" on Google than on PornHub.
  3. Give a man some corn, he eats for a day. Teach a man to grow corn, he kills you and steals your land!
  4. What did the hipster say the day after thanksgiving? I liked the leftovers before they were cool.
  5. The first year I didn't eat Thanksgiving leftovers on the day after. I quit cold turkey.
  6. Thanksgiving. The day in 1621 when Native Americans shared a meal with undocumented immigrants who never left.
  7. The day after Thanksgiving is often the biggest capitalist/materialistic shopping day every year. I'm protesting it this year, and had to think of the movement's slogan... Black Fridays Matter.
  8. Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving "Black Friday"? Because everything is a steal.
  9. Marriage is like Thanksgiving dinner You can make it last, but it gets a little worse every day.
  10. The day after Thanksgiving someone wished me Happy Turkey Recovery Day Sorry to burst your bubble, but those turkeys aren't recovering from yesterday.

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Day After Thanksgiving One Liners

Which day after thanksgiving one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with day after thanksgiving? I can suggest the ones about day after christmas and thanksgiving day.

  1. What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day? Quack, quack!
  2. It's almost Thanksgiving day... Remember to set all your scales back 10 pounds tonight.
  3. What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
  4. Why is thanksgiving such a special holiday at the gas station? It is a day to be tankful.
  5. What's a turkey's favorite holiday? The day after Thanksgiving. (Black Friday)
  6. What's the best way to kick a habit today (day after Thanksgiving)? Cold turkey.
  7. Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken’s day off!
  8. Most turkeys taste better the day after. My mother's tasted better the day before.
  9. Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.
  10. Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
  11. J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day?
    A: TWERKY!
  12. Thanksgiving dinner table comment of the day... Mom: "Dark Meat Matters"

Witty Day After Thanksgiving Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about day after thanksgiving you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean day after tomorrow jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make day after thanksgiving pranks.

Once upon a time, there was a very happy, long-married couple who ran a small farm.

They loved each other and all, there was just one problem – the guy f**... incredibly, and enjoyed ripping seriously loud ones in bed especially.
The wife complained for years, pleaded – in vain.
"One day, you'll spill your guts out, you mark my words!" was the lady's frequent closing warning.
Then one Thanksgiving morning, gutting the turkey, she had a s**... of genius.
She took all the turkey's guts and went to their bedroom and quietly slipped them under the still sleeping man's covers.
"That'll teach him!" she thought with satisfaction and went back to her work.
At 10 the man was still nowhere to be seen – quite shocking for a farmer – and she was starting to worry when finally her husband came down – walking a little strange, wearing an even stranger expression.
"You were right about the f**..., Ida," he panted, "I'm ashamed to admit that I did f**... my guts out. But with the help of our Lord and these two fingers, all is right again!"

There was once a man who woke up every morning and f**... really loudly...

Every day he would wake up, release the pressure, and his wife would say in disgust "one of these days, you're going to f**... your guts out". So one Thanksgiving, the wife got up early to start fixing the feast for the day. As she was removing the giblets from the turkey, she had an idea. Sneaking back up to the bedroom, she carefully lifted the back of her husbands pajamas and placed the giblets into his pants, then snuck back downstairs and continued her work. After a while, she heard her husbands alarm go off and, just as every morning, the eruptive release of high pressure gasses. She giggled to herself and her small prank, and waited for him to come down stairs. Five minutes went by, and there was no sign of him, but she kept preparing the meal. Ten minutes...Fifteen...and now she was a little worried so she went up to check on him. She noticed the bathroom light was on, so she knocked on the door and asked "honey are you ok?" He came out and sheepishly replied "Well, it finally happened. I f**... my guts out. But by the grace of god, and these two fingers, I was able to get them back in."

Latex gloves

A happy couple are laying in bed when the husband farts, the wife says to him "Harry, you f**... every morning in bed. One day you're going to f**... your guts out!" Harry just grunted and ignored her.
4 months later...
It's the morning after thanksgiving and the wife Fiona is looking in the fridge when she notices the insides of the turkey in plastic wrap. She knows what she had to do. She goes upstairs and while Harry is sleeping she slips the insides into his boxers. She goes back downstairs and acts like nothing ever happened.
15 minutes later...
Fiona hears a scream from upstairs, and she sees Harry run down the stairs straight into the bathroom.
10 minutes later...
Fiona hears the door open and Harry walks out of the bathroom. "Are you okay honey? Fiona's says.
"Well, you know how you said I would f**... my guys out? Well it happened, but with some pliers and a pair of latex gloves I managed to get most of them back in.

Catholic School

So there's a bad jewish kid and he swears all the time. He gets expelled from school. His behavior combined with the town he lives in being so small where everyone knows everyone's business, causes his family to become pariahs.
Desperate for a solution, the parents ask the local Rabbi for help who suggests sending the boy to a *yeshiva* - a Jewish private school. The parents try this, but sadly, this seemed to make him worse, now he swears in both English and Hebrew.
The next week, Thanksgiving rolls around and the parents have the neighbors over to eat Turkey with them. The neighbor after a while can't help but remark "I know it's not my place, but your son is very unruly."
The parents sigh and say they have no idea what to do with him. The neighbor replies "I know you're Jewish but try Catholic School. Those nuns instill serious discipline in children."
Feeling out of options, the parents do enroll the son in Catholic School, and that same day he comes home from school the model son they always wished he was.
The parents are flabbergasted. They ask "Did the nuns beat you?", and the son replies "No mother, they did not." So the parent's say "Then how did this happen?" and the son replied "Well, when I saw the guy hanging on the wall there, I knew they meant business!"

The Bears and The Lions

I didnt know ESPN showed re-enactments of the Thanksgiving Day Massacre.

Sick days

For some reason when I get sick it always happens at the most suspicious time. For example, last year, I got sick the day before Thanksgiving. I called in sick, took the day off, and recovered over my now 5-day weekend.

Then Christmas rolled around, and I ended up getting the flu the day before I was due back at work. So I called in sick again and didn't end up back at work until after New Year's.

A few weeks later, it was my birthday, and I came down with a 24-hr stomach bug the night before! At this point I could tell my co-workers and boss were getting suspicious.

Not one month later my boss was having us stay overtime after work and I was hit with a severe migraine around lunch. This time I could tell that my boss definitely didn't believe me.

At that moment, while I was leaving the office building with the sunshine beating down on my pulsing headache, the reason why I got sick on all those days became apparent. I'm a pathological liar that hates to work.

Three p**... are discussing the meaning of Easter

The first p**... says, "Easter is that time of year when your family comes over for the night. You sit down to a big turkey dinner and you watch football.
"No you m**...," said the second p**.... "That is Thanksgiving. Easter is the time of year when a fat man in a red suit comes down your chimney and leaves you presents underneath a tree."
"Don't be s**...," said the third p**.... "You should know that is Christmas. Easter is the time of year when Jesus died for our sins and was put behind a boulder. Then in three days, he pushed the boulder out of the way, stepped outside, saw his shadow and ran back inside shouting six more weeks of winter."

So, it's almost Thanksgiving Day

and it seems this year Russia will be taking care of the Turkey.

In honour of canadian thanksgiving...

I will be tickling the turkey instead of choking the chicken all day today

If all the animals on the equator were capable of flattering

Then halloween and thanksgiving would fall on the same day

The cowboys play the r**... this year in thanksgiving day.

Just like the first thanksgiving.

One blonde asks the other blonde when is Thanksgiving

Blond 1: What day is Thanksgiving this year?
Blonde 2: I think Friday.
Blonde 1: Thank God it's not the 13th!

Why is the day after Thanksgiving called Black Friday?

Because prices are so low, it's basically stealing.

So now that Thanksgiving is over I have started a 30 day diet...

So far, I've already lost 5 days!

Why is Thanksgiving the best day to take a girl out on a first date?

If things go well, you may get to stuff her

It has always bothered me that Black Friday is the day after we celebrate Thanksgiving.

It's 2018, do we really need segregated holidays?

The parade has been on for more than 1.5 minutes and now I'm confused...

... because at the beginning, the announcer clearly said "Welcome to the 90-second Thanksgiving Day parade!"

I can say I went to the gym every day during Thanksgiving Week.

For Thanksgiving Week I renamed my cat Jim.

Nation dialogue

You know, I was very Hungary one day, so I went to go Czech the fridge. I managed to find some Turkey that was leftover from Thanksgiving, but it was all covered in Greece. So I closed the fridge and Czech'd the pantry. I saw a Canada beans, so I grabbed them and microwaved them, but it exploded. My mom says that Iran out of diversity with food, and that I needed to expand on that. She also mentioned we need to get groceries. I said "Denmark my words, I shall go to the grocery store!".

jokes about day after thanksgiving