Dawn Jokes

What are some Dawn jokes?

A rabbi, a Catholic priest, and a Protestant minister are talking in a bar.

They bet each other that they can convert a bear to their religion. At dawn the next day, they meet at the edge of the forest and wish each other luck before setting out. At the end of the day, they meet each other again on three separate stretchers. The priest is all beat up. He has a broken arm and a black eye. "The bear put up a good fight", he says, "but he's coming to church on Sunday to get baptised". The minister is in worse shape than the priest. He has two black eyes, a broken arm, and a broken leg. "It was tough," he says, "but I got the bear to join the church choir, singing baritone." The rabbi is in the worst shape of the three of them. He has two black eyes and all his arms and legs are broken. "In hindsight," he says, "I guess I shouldn't have started with the circumcision."

I woke up to the crack of Dawn the other day...

I said "Dawn! Get off my face!"

To settle their differences, Jesus and Muhammed agree to pistols at dawn, Jesus wins...

...because drawing Muhammed is forbidden.

My army buddy was jerking off one night.

He was discharged by dawn.

A joke for Europe

A Greek, an Italian, and a Spaniard go into a bar and have an awesome time, ordering drinks till dawn. So who pays the tab?

A German.

I went on a tour of a soap factory last week.

I forgot which one it was, but I'm sure it will Dawn on me.

I'm a really slow reader. Today, I only got through six pages of my dictionary.

From dawn to dusk.

What did the muslim man say as he was driving recklessly and passing other cars at dawn?

"Sorry, gotta go fast"

Paddy is a poor Irish farmer...

He spends all day from dawn till dusk working his little farm to provide for his sick wife and 12 daughters.

Every night he kneels by the side of his bed and prays. 'Dear Lord, I'm a good catholic just trying to do right, please oh Lord could I win the lottery?'

For years and years Paddy struggles on, ekeing a meagre existence from his tiny farm, attending church every sunday, nursing his sick wife and teaching his 12 daughters how to live moral lives.

And every night still, he kneels by the side of his bed and begs the lord to please let him win the lottery.

One night, he is kneeling and praying like usual, when suddenly the sky bursts into golden light, a glorious chorus of angels sing and winged cherubs strum harps as the lord himself appears to Paddy.

'PADDY,' Gods deep voice booms.

With tears streaming down his face and his arms stretched towards the sky, Paddy shouts 'YES MY LORD!'

'BUY A TICKET.'

Village Atheist

In a small village in the middle of the countryside, there is only one atheist. He sells insurance for a living. But, he grows old and one day gets really sick. On his death bed, he calls for the village priest, who is obviously a very devout catholic.

They talk for an entire day, and during the whole night too. The priest tries very hard to convert the atheist. Nobody is allowed in the room. At dawn, the priest stumbles out sleep-deprived and bleak faced.

The atheist died still an atheist, but the priest is fully insured.

Why do the citizens of Athens hate waking up early?

Because Dawn is tough on Greece!

Dwarfs and Sexual Harassment

Dawn, a tall attractive office assistant complains to human relations in her firm that every time she goes to the photocopier a nearby worker named Philbert comes up close to her and says "Mmm, your hair smells nice." Hermagrude, the kind , wise human relations officer says placatingly, "Well Dawn, many women would treat that as a compliment, perhaps you could see it that way?" Dawn replies, "well normally I might but Philbert is a dwarf."

Scientists have invented a new device called the hyperbole chamber.

It is the greatest and best thing ever since the dawn of civilization.

The Sun God Helios, feeling lazy, stuck his bare glowing buttocks over the horizon...

... it was the crack of dawn.

My wife uses an entire bottle of dish soap when she washes the dishes every night.

Another day, another Dawn

Had a stupidly long receptionist shift today.

I worked from desk till dawn.

I was walking my dog through a graveyard at dawn

I saw someone crouching by a headstone. I greeted them: 'Morning!'

They replied 'Nope, just having a shit.'

I woke up at the crack of dawn...

So I told her to get off my head and let me get some sleep.

Cant beat the classics.

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives.

Tracy said, "I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does." Cathy giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft." Dawn quietly sipped her whiskey until Tracy asked, "Say, what do you call your husband?" Dawn frowned and said, "The postman." "Why the postman?" asked Cathy. "Because he always delivers late, and half the time it's in the wrong box."

Two old men were sitting together when one of them pointed out a suppository sticking out of the other's ear.

The other didn't respond immediately, but after a few moments, realisation seemed to dawn on him. "Oh, thanks!" he said "*Now* I know where I put my hearing aid!"

What time of day stinks?

The crack of dawn

I started making love at the crack of Dawn

And I finished on her face

What noise wakes you up at the North Pole around March 18?

The crack of dawn.

What's a Greek's favorite color of sky?

Golden Dawn

Loadshedding joke.

Another new dawn eclipse, courtesy of Eskom.

What's a Walruses favourite movie?

From Tusk till dawn.

How to make Dawn jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Dawn to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Dawn? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Dawn pick up lines to share with friends.

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