Davi Jokes
90 davi jokes and hilarious davi puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about davi that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Davi Short Jokes
Short davi jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The davi humour may include short stage jokes also.
- A White Horse Walks Into a Bar A white horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we've got a cocktail named after you!". "What?", says the horse, "Steve?".
\-heard from Alan Davies on Q.I. - I didn't believe my girlfriend when she told me Davy Jones had died. And then I saw her face...
- Do you know what Miles Davis is called in Europe? 1.60934 Kilometers Davis
joke courtesy of Stephen Wright - Tried to buy a Charlie Brown LP on ebay and got a Davy Jones album instead. You know what they say.
You pay Peanuts, you get Monkees. - AMA Request: Kim Davis. I would like to hear her answer this question, for she seems uniquely qualified to do so:
If a man and woman from Kentucky get a divorce, are they still brother and sister? - I was once in a queue with John Miles and Miles Davis It didn't take long, but it went on for Miles and Miles.
- In the today's news a man was caught attempting to pickpocket Warwick Davis. Don't know how anyone could stoop so low.
- Why don't they listen to Miles Davis in Europe? Because they listen to Kilometres Davis instead.
- Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis found in contempt of court and taken into custody... ...making it the first time a public sector employee has gotten in trouble for not doing their job.
- The anchorwoman on the local news just reported that Davy Jones from the Monkees has died At first I didn't believe it. But then I saw her face.
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Davi One Liners
Which davi one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with davi? I can suggest the ones about fed and trick.
- Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears? A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.
- Davy Jones was a lucky man He had 3 grown men fighting for his heart
- What's a pirates favourite paint? Davy Jones Lacquer.
- What does Davy Jones like to work out the most on his body? His dead man's chest.
- How does Davy Crockett prefer his pie? Alamo'd
- Did you hear the one about Jonathan Davis in Nebraska? Nevermind, it's too korny.
- Tried to cover Miles Davis but failed miserably... I Kind of Blue it
- Kim Davis's Daughter was Fired by the SPCA She wouldn't feed the strays
- What us orange and sounds like a parrot? 'A carrot'
Re: Alan Davies. - What do you call a shoe shop at the bottom of the sea? Davy Jones's foot locker.
- After the death The Monkees' Davy Jones... I'd like to offer mickydolenzes to his family.
- What did Davy Crockett's ex wife say as he left for battle? Remember the alimony!
- Why doesn't John Rhys Davies use Tinder? Bad Dates.
- Miles Davis Is 1,6 times longer than his European cousin Kilometers Davis
- What do you called being pepper sprayed at UC Davis? Occupational hazard.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Davi Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about davi you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean puts jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make davi pranks.
What does David Bowie do after he gets out of the swimming pool?
He ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes. (Sorry if repost)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
David Cameron.
What do you call David Cameron when he enters the houses of parliament? An inside joke.
What do you call David Cameron when he's late for the bus? A running joke.
What do you call David Cameron's leadership skills? A bad joke.
David Hasslehoff walks into a bar...
...every morning and then he stays there until it closes.
David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'...
David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'.
We're leaving that country in a state of poverty and despair, where half the population can't read and daily life is blighted by the ever-present threat of needless violence.
Yes, we've brought the British way of life to them all right.
David Cameron sends Alex Salmond a text following the Scottish vote...
David: "Hi mate just checking in, u k?"
David Cameron has said that Britain is prepared for a nuclear attack from North Korea.
Dave mate, normally we aren't prepared for snow at winter.
David Copperfield found out he has aids.
They told him he caught it doing Magic
David Hasselhoff calls his Agent and demands, "I want everyone to call me The Hoff from now on."
His Agent says, "Sure. No hassle."
Why did David Schwimmer need ear drops?
He had Schwimmer's ear.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
David Guetta - Shot Me Down (p**... version)
I was five and he was six...ty nine , bang bang
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"David, why don't you go and play with...
...with Jimmy?" asks the mother.
"Oh mum, you wouldn't want to play with a filthy, obscene, thieving, lying boy, would you?"
"Of course not." says the mother, as she hugs her son.
"Well, Jimmy wouldn't either..."
David Cameron
Went to his local butcher. He asked the butcher for a steak. The butcher asked "what is your favourite cut?", David replied, "the public sector".
What's David Cameron's favourite Shakespeare play?
Hamlet.
David Hasselhoff just changed his name to "David Hoff"
If anything, it's less of a hassel.
Where do David Cameron and his party meet?
In the Conservatory!
When David shot Goliath, there was a giant thunderstorm.
He was just slinging in the rain.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when David l**... directs a remake of The Godfather?
Someone who makes you an offer you can't understand.
David was hard at work...
it was really quite awkward for his coworkers.
David Cameron: Tax evasion is morally wrong, I leaned that from my father.
The tax evasion bit, not the morally wrong bit.
Where does David Cameron keep his hidden money?
In the Piggy bank
What is David Bowie's favourite energy drink?
Redbull Redbull
What do david beckham and Ferrero Rocher chocolates have in common?
They both come in a posh box
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You need some David in your life...
Because Jesus clearly isn't helping you.
The David Cameron diet:
You'll never lose your pounds quicker.
David Cameron: I can't live...
without EU
David Cameron didn't do much as the Prime Minister of the UK
But Theresa May.
David Hume's 'Dialogues Concerning Natural Religion' was published after his death, or in other words...
it was published posthumeously.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does David Cameron say after s**...?
That'll do pig, that'll do.
What did David Bowie want for Christmas?
Carrie Fisher.
David calls up his brother Mike to schedule their annual family trip.
He tells him they're leaving Saturday to go to Detroit. Mike asks, "wait a minute, why Detroit?"
David answers, "Well, you know that thing old ladies do, where they set up a map on a dart board, and wherever it lands is where they go?"
Mike couldn't resist a chuckle, and says back to him "Yeah, i know that one."
"Well, I missed and hit the trash can."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Davinath the Indian wife beater punches his wife every night at 7 PM.
On the dot.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How did david hasselhoff attract the women in his n**... photography class
By showing hoff
Why did David Hasselhoff change his name to 'The Hoff'?
He couldn't be bothered with the hassle
Who's David Camerons' favourite Looney Tunes character?
Porky Pig.
Why doesn't David Lee Roth drive a car during summer?
Because he can barely see the road from the heat comin' off of it.
Why couldn't David Boreanaz buy anything at the patisserie?
They don't sell Angel cakes.
What is David Cameron's favourite food?
Pulled pork
David Bowie once fell in love with a beautiful Asian girl named Jessica Chang
He wrote a song about it.
"Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Chang Jess!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
David Blaine has reportedly been accused of two s**... assaults.
Apparently he touched two women and they disappeared.
David Bowie and Freddie Mercury were on a road trip
When one of their tyres blew out.
Turns out it was under pressured.
What does David Bowie call his OpenDocument files?
space.odt
What did David Harbour's kids say when he asked who won the race?
It was a tie, dad.
What does David Bowie do after the gym?
Ch ch ch ch changes
Who is better than David Tennant?
David Elevennant.
I just made that up.
Why David doesn't know how to drive a tractor? Because he has no hands. Why he has no hands?
Because he is a potato.
What did David Lee Roth use to suppress his asthma attacks?
an Eddie Vanhaler
David Copperfield is the best magician ever.
He's disappeared since the 90s.
David Hasselhoff told his agent that he wants to be known as Hoff from now on.
Agent: Sure David. No hassle.
David takes his son to a doctor
David : Doctor, my son has swallowed a pair of keys.
Doctor : When did this happen!?
David : Three months ago.
Doctor : What!? What were you doing till now!?
David : We were using the spare keys.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
David Carradine , An American actor and martial Artist died due fatal a**... asphyxiation accident .
I guess you can say that ,
*Puts on Sunglasses*
He Died Hard!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
David Blaine might like to think he's the world's greatest illusionist...
But I can walk into any bar in the world and I become instantly invisible to all women.
Your move David.
What was David Beckham told after he was granted an honourific title by the Queen?
Man, you knighted!
Did you know that David Guetta was once shot by an Irishman?
Fire away... Fire away...
Rick O'Shea, You take your aim...
Why doesn't David Beckham eat cheap curries?
Because he can afford to eat really nice ones.
David: *plays secret chord*
The Lord: Nice
David has 12 kids, his wife works and he does nothing all day but lay on the couch.
The only difference between David and the couch is that the couch is can pull out
What's David Blaine's favorite accessory?
His watch.... watch.... watch....
('lil magish humor)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did David l**... visit the Apple Store?
Because when he received his new phone it was already dead, wrapped in plastic.
David Walliams joke
Thank you Joel, and so nice to see Caroline Flack back on TV as well.
I once saw David Bowie put twenty dollars worth of gas in his car for a trip to the bar with his wife...
...It was enough to drive Iman to drink!
David Hasselhoff walked into a bar
and ordered a drink.
Its a pleasure to serve you, Mr Hasselhoff, said the bartender.
Just call me Hoff, the actor replied.
Sure, the bartender said, no hassle.
David Blaine announced he is not interested in being a magician anymore.
He said that it has lost its magic.
What do David Duke and Johnny Sins have in common?
They are both wizards under the sheets.
David Tennant only has one fear.
David Tennanteater
David Foster Wallace writes a simple seafood recipe...
1. This is water
2. Consider the lobster
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
David Bowie said he was s**... when watching 2001: A Space Odyssey, which inspired his hit song Space Oddity. How high was he though?
Far above the moon.
David wanted to be a writer!
There was once this young man who professed his desire to become a great writer. Say hello to David. When asked what he wanted to write, David would say with great enthusiasm, " I want to write stuff that the whole world will read. Stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level. Stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
A decade later, David did fulfill his dream:
David now writes the error messages for Python interpreter.
David killed a man by accident...
Yet, they still sentenced him to death. when asked what was his last wish was, he asked for a banana. the jail man said sorry, its not banana season yet . I'll wait said David.
David Beckham gets in a taxi at Dublin Airport and notices the driver keep looking in his rear view mirror at him.
After about 5 minutes the driver says "Go on then give me a clue!?"
Beckham replies, "I had a glittering career with Man Utd, played over 100 times for England and married a spice girl, is that enough?".
Driver says "No mate, I meant where are you going?"
If my name was David and I had a boy, I would have to name him Harley.
That way he could introduce himself, I'm Harley, David's son.
Do you think David Bowie just had one set of clothes when he performed?
Or do you think he had several different ch-ch-ch-changes?
Why was David Bowie good at test taking?
Because he could write Under Pressure!
David Benioff and Dan Weiss wrote this joke for the loyal viewers of the Game of Thrones series
Season 8
David was invited to John's house. He was impressed by how John kept calling his wife, My Love and Darling and Sweetheart.
When his wife stepped out of the room David said to John, You guys are really still in love!
John replied, No. I just forgot her name.
David Byrne gets elected as U.S. president.
His first act is to issue an executive order to the U.S. Mint.
To stop making cents.
