The Best 79 Davi Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Davi jokes. There are some davi dav jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these davi trick puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Davi Jokes and Puns

David Hasselhoff walks into a bar and says to the barman...

..."I want you to call me David Hoff".
The barman replies:
"Sure thing Dave... no hassle."

What does David Bowie do after he gets out of the swimming pool?

He ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes. (Sorry if repost)

David Cameron.

What do you call David Cameron when he enters the houses of parliament? An inside joke.

What do you call David Cameron when he's late for the bus? A running joke.

What do you call David Cameron's leadership skills? A bad joke.

Davi joke, David Cameron.

How did David Copperfield get HIV?

From doing Magic.

David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'...

David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'.

We're leaving that country in a state of poverty and despair, where half the population can't read and daily life is blighted by the ever-present threat of needless violence.

Yes, we've brought the British way of life to them all right.


My name is David and I had my ID stolen the other day.

Now they just call me Dav.

David Cameron sends Alex Salmond a text following the Scottish vote...

David: "Hi mate just checking in, u k?"

Davi joke, David Cameron sends Alex Salmond a text following the Scottish vote...

David Cameron has said that Britain is prepared for a nuclear attack from North Korea.

Dave mate, normally we aren't prepared for snow at winter.

David Copperfield's fed up of performing the old trap-door trick...

It's just a stage he's going through.

David Copperfield found out he has aids.

They told him he caught it doing Magic

David Hasselhoff calls his Agent and demands, "I want everyone to call me The Hoff from now on."

His Agent says, "Sure. No hassle."

You can explore davi fed reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean davi sleep dad jokes. There are also davi puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why did David Schwimmer need ear drops?

He had Schwimmer's ear.

"David, why don't you go and play with...

...with Jimmy?" asks the mother.

"Oh mum, you wouldn't want to play with a filthy, obscene, thieving, lying boy, would you?"

"Of course not." says the mother, as she hugs her son.

"Well, Jimmy wouldn't either..."

David Cameron

Went to his local butcher. He asked the butcher for a steak. The butcher asked "what is your favourite cut?", David replied, "the public sector".

What's David Cameron's favourite Shakespeare play?

Hamlet.

David Hasselhoff just changed his name to "David Hoff"

If anything, it's less of a hassel.

Davi joke, David Hasselhoff just changed his name to "David Hoff"

Why David shorted his surname to Hoff?

Because it was too much Hassel

Where do David Cameron and his party meet?

In the Conservatory!

What do you get when David Lynch directs a remake of The Godfather?

Someone who makes you an offer you can't understand.


David was hard at work...

it was really quite awkward for his coworkers.

David Cameron: Tax evasion is morally wrong, I leaned that from my father.

The tax evasion bit, not the morally wrong bit.

Where does David Cameron keep his hidden money?

In the Piggy bank

What is David Bowie's favourite energy drink?

Redbull Redbull

What do David Beckham and Ferrero Rocher chocolates have in common?

They both come in a posh box

You need some David in your life...

Because Jesus clearly isn't helping you.

The David Cameron diet:

You'll never lose your pounds quicker.

David Cameron: I can't live...

without EU

David had his ID stolen yesterday...

So we call him Dav now.

David Cameron didn't do much as the Prime Minister of the UK

But Theresa May.

David Hume's 'Dialogues Concerning Natural Religion' was published after his death, or in other words...

it was published posthumeously.

What does David Cameron say after sex?

That'll do pig, that'll do.

What did David Bowie want for Christmas?

Carrie Fisher.

David calls up his brother Mike to schedule their annual family trip.

He tells him they're leaving Saturday to go to Detroit. Mike asks, "wait a minute, why Detroit?"

David answers, "Well, you know that thing old ladies do, where they set up a map on a dart board, and wherever it lands is where they go?"

Mike couldn't resist a chuckle, and says back to him "Yeah, i know that one."

"Well, I missed and hit the trash can."

David Hasselhoff changed his name to "The Hoff".

He couldn't deal with all the *Hassel*

Davinath the Indian wife beater punches his wife every night at 7 PM.

On the dot.

How did David Hasselhoff attract the women in his nude photography class

By showing hoff

Why did David Hasselhoff change his name to 'The Hoff'?

He couldn't be bothered with the hassle

Who's David Camerons' favourite Looney Tunes character?

Porky Pig.

Why doesn't David Lee Roth drive a car during summer?

Because he can barely see the road from the heat comin' off of it.

Why couldn't David Boreanaz buy anything at the patisserie?

They don't sell Angel cakes.

How is David Beckham like Ferrero Rocher?

They both come in a posh box.

What is David Cameron's favourite food?

Pulled pork

David was a victim of ID theft

He's now known as Dav.

David Blaine has reportedly been accused of two sexual assaults.

Apparently he touched two women and they disappeared.

David Bowie and Freddie Mercury were on a road trip

When one of their tyres blew out.

Turns out it was under pressured.

What does David Bowie call his OpenDocument files?

space.odt

What did David Harbour's kids say when he asked who won the race?

It was a tie, dad.

What does David Bowie do after the gym?

Ch ch ch ch changes

Who is better than David Tennant?

David Elevennant.

I just made that up.

Why David doesn't know how to drive a tractor? Because he has no hands. Why he has no hands?

Because he is a potato.

What did David Lee Roth use to suppress his asthma attacks?

an Eddie Vanhaler

David Copperfield is the best magician ever.

He's disappeared since the 90s.

David Hasselhoff told his agent that he wants to be known as Hoff from now on.

Agent: Sure David. No hassle.

What was David Bowie's last hit?

Probably heroin.

David takes his son to a doctor

David : Doctor, my son has swallowed a pair of keys.
Doctor : When did this happen!?
David : Three months ago.
Doctor : What!? What were you doing till now!?
David : We were using the spare keys.

David Hasslehoff walks into a Glasgow pub

And barman says "what will it he Mr Hasslehoff"

David says, please it's just "Hoff"

And the barman replies "sure nae Hassle, Hoff"

Why doesn't David Beckham eat cheap curries?

Because he can afford to eat really nice ones.

David: *plays secret chord*

The Lord: Nice

David has 12 kids, his wife works and he does nothing all day but lay on the couch.

The only difference between David and the couch is that the couch is can pull out

What's David Blaine's favorite accessory?

His watch.... watch.... watch....

('lil magish humor)

Why did David Lynch visit the Apple Store?

Because when he received his new phone it was already dead, wrapped in plastic.

David Walliams joke

Thank you Joel, and so nice to see Caroline Flack back on TV as well.

David Walliams NTA joke with Caroline Flack

Thank you Joel and so nice to see Caroline Flack back on TV as well.

David Dobrik earthquake prank

I once saw David Bowie put twenty dollars worth of gas in his car for a trip to the bar with his wife...

...It was enough to drive Iman to drink!

David Hasselhoff walked into a bar

and ordered a drink.

Its a pleasure to serve you, Mr Hasselhoff, said the bartender.

Just call me Hoff, the actor replied.

Sure, the bartender said, no hassle.

David Blaine announced he is not interested in being a magician anymore.

He said that it has lost its magic.

What do David Duke and Johnny Sins have in common?

They are both wizards under the sheets.

David Tennant only has one fear.

David Tennanteater

*David Beckham* gets in a taxi at Dublin airport.

He notices the driver staring at him insistently in the rearview mirror.

After 5 minutes the taxi driver asks, Ok. At least give me a hint"

David Beckham sighs and says I had a brilliant career at Manchester United, married one of the Spice Girls and played for more than 100 times for England's national team. Enough?"

Driver replies: No, you eejit! Where are we going??

David Foster Wallace writes a simple seafood recipe...

1. This is water
2. Consider the lobster

David Bowie said he was stoned when watching 2001: A Space Odyssey, which inspired his hit song Space Oddity. How high was he though?

Far above the moon.

David Hasselhoff walks into a bar.

Bartender: What can I get you Mr Hasselhoff?

David: I want you to call me David Hoff.

Bartender: Okay David Hoff, no hassle.

David wanted to be a writer!

There was once this young man who professed his desire to become a great writer. Say hello to David. When asked what he wanted to write, David would say with great enthusiasm, " I want to write stuff that the whole world will read. Stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level. Stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

A decade later, David did fulfill his dream:

David now writes the error messages for Python interpreter.

David Hasselhoff walks into a bar and orders a drink.

It's a pleasure to serve you, Mr Hasselhoff, says the bartender.

Just call me Hoff, he replied.

Sure, said the bartender, No hassle.

David Hasselhoff walks into a bar..

It's a pleasure to serve you, Mr. Hasselhoff , said the bartender.

Just call me Hoff, if it's not too much trouble , he replied.

Sure , said the bartender, no hassle .

David killed a man by accident...

Yet, they still sentenced him to death. when asked what was his last wish was, he asked for a banana. the jail man said sorry, its not banana season yet . I'll wait said David.

David Beckham gets in a taxi at Dublin Airport and notices the driver keep looking in his rear view mirror at him.

After about 5 minutes the driver says "Go on then give me a clue!?"

Beckham replies, "I had a glittering career with Man Utd, played over 100 times for England and married a spice girl, is that enough?".

Driver says "No mate, I meant where are you going?"

If my name was David and I had a boy, I would have to name him Harley.

That way he could introduce himself, I'm Harley, David's son.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the davi found jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working davi call piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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