Dating Relationship Jokes
63 dating relationship jokes and hilarious dating relationship puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dating relationship that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Dating Relationship Short Jokes
Short dating relationship jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dating relationship humour may include short romantic relationship jokes also.
- My grandpa once told me he dated Marie Curie. He was attracted to her glowing spirit and radiant personality.
Sadly, their relationship became toxic. - I was dating a midget but it didn't work out. My parents and friends looked down on her.
Bonus: It was a short relationship. - Just had to cut ties with the girl I was dating after I found out we both wanted different things. She wanted a relationship and I wanted a better looking girlfriend.
- Apparently oj simpson is interested in dating again. He's ready to have another stab at a relationship.
- American Airlines I'm like the American Airlines of dating, we understand you had other options of relationships and we're sorry you chose us.
- How come Miss Piggy hasn't thought about dating Porky Pig? Because she's in a kermitted relationship.
- I was on a date other day when the girl said she wanted to start a long distance relationship using semaphore. Raised a couple of red flags...
- How do you stump two nudists who are dating? Ask them who wears the pants in their relationship.
- Why do geologists keep getting hurt in their relationships? They have a thing for dating rocks
- I always ask a funny question on first dates. "Are you a serial killer? "
Its healthy to avoid competition in a relationship.
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Dating Relationship One Liners
Which dating relationship one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dating relationship? I can suggest the ones about relationship status and daughter dating.
- What do you call it when two horses date? A stable relationship
- So my brother is dating a mermaid. Yeah, apparently their relationship's on the rocks.
- I only date people who love horses They tend to be a more stable relationship
- I use to date a midget It was a short term relationship....
- What do you call two diamonds in a healthy relationship? Carbon dating
- I've been dating a horse girl for three years now It's been a stable relationship
- I dated a furry once The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah
- Midas and Medusa went out on a date It didn't end well, it was a stone-gold relationship.
- What is the relationship between an old fossil and a paleontologist called? Carbon Dating
- If two Admirals are dating... Are they in a relationships?
- Did you hear about the guy who is dating a horse? They're in a stable relationship.
- Ever since my dad started dating medusa Our relationship has been pretty rocky lately
- I dated a professional diver The relationship went swimmingly :)
- I used to date a girl that reported the weather. We had a very stormy relationship.
- Is a date a fruit or a vegetables? You don't know until he's at the door.
Ridiculous Dating Relationship Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about dating relationship you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean distance relationship jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dating relationship pranks.
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched, thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the backseat of my car?" "Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues, "Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years!" "I remember that too," she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have gotten out today!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There are three women. One is dating, one is engaged, and one is married. They decide to get k**... with their men and really pull out all the stops to make it extra special. The woman who is dating says, “Okay, so I bought black leather, red lipstick, fishnet stockings, and really got crazy. He loved it so much he thinks he’s in love.” The woman who is engaged says, “I showed up to his work after hours wearing only a red coat. Let’s just say he wants to move the wedding date up!” The woman who is married says, “Okay, I really went all out. I got a babysitter for the kids, and bought a black mask and a whip. My husband gets home, goes straight to the fridge, and grabs a beer. Then he plops down on the couch and says, 'Hey Batman! Where the f*c**... is dinner?!?'"
Relationships are a progression of 4 rings.
First is the "Friendship" ring, when dating is exclusive, but there's no more commitment
Second is the Engagement ring, when two people are so in love that they want to get married.
Third is the Wedding ring, worn when two people make a life-long commitment to each other during a ceremory attended by their friends.
Fourth and finally - is the Suffering. Starts about a year after Step 3.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Pre-nup.
In a small town, an elderly couple had been dating each other for a long time.
At the urging of their friends, they decided it was finally time for marriage.
Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
"How do you feel about s**...?" he asked, rather trustingly.
"Well," she said, responding very carefully, "I'd have to say... I would like it infrequently. "
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, then over his glasses, he looked her in the eye and casually asked ............
"Is that one word or two?"
Why did the relationship between the creationist and Organic molecule not last ?
Because the creationist did not believe in carbon dating.
My sister started dating a 500 pound wrestler
When they broke up she admitted she didn't understand her roll in the relationship
Relationship woes...
I was dating a radiographer. She was a lovely girl, but we broke up recently.
I was lying and she saw right through me.
Still, at least she knew my heart was in the right place.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An elderly couple had been dating for some time.
Finally they decided it was time for marriage. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about s**...?" he asked, rather trustingly. "Well," she says, responding very carefully, "I'd have to say I would like it infrequently." The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment. Then, looking over his glasses, he looked her in the eye and asked, "Was that one word or two?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I had to break up with my girlfriend...
Me and my Japanese girlfriend had been dating for around 9 months before she really started becoming attached and really clingy. I decided that the best thing for me to do was to end the relationship. When I told her she took it surprisingly well, and she didn't get upset or anything. I was ecstatic! But she turned up to my house the next day and asked where we were going for dinner. I was confused and I told her to have a seat whilst I informed her that our relationship was OVER! This time when I told her she was crying, k**... and screaming.
I guess the only way to make the Japanese really understand is to drop the bomb twice
I dated a girl in a wheel chair once.
it was a tough relationship tho. Have you ever heard the saying "If you love her then let her go, and if she comes back then it was meant to be"?
Well don't let her go on a hill by a lake, cause she don't come back
The girl that I've just started dating asked me what I look for in a relationship....
Apparently " A way out " was not the right answer.
My girlfriend is how I get through tough times.
Been dating her for 5 years and I always keep her picture in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties in life I take out my wallet and stare at her picture. And it comforts me knowing that if I can survive being in a relationship with this psychopath I can survive anything
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tall people and Short people should never date.
Long distance relationships never work out.
I'm getting tired of my relationship with carbon isotopes -.- it's too complicated.
Time to give up carbon dating.
My friend tried dating a woman who was 7'11'' but had to break up with her.
He should have seen it coming, long distance relationships never work out.
I am seeing a horse right now
We've been dating for only a month, but I can say it's a stable relationship
A guy once dated a very nice girl, and had a fair relationship with her family.
One night after she proposed to me, her sister came up and said: "I know you liked my sister all the way, but if you'd like one wild time before the wedding, come up to my room.
He immediately headed to the front door, and was met by his father-in-law with tears: "I always knew you were the right choice for our daughter, Wellcome to the family!"
Moral of the story: always keep your condoms in your car
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do colourblind people s**... at dating?
Because they fail to see the red flags in a relationship
I was once in a pretty serious relationship with a cake
We went on several dates over the course of a few weeks. The chemistry was great and I thought we really had a connection. One special night I leaned in close to my cake and whispered, I love you."
The cake burst into tiers.
Before we started dating, my girlfriend was in an abusive relationship and she'd Never talk about it.
For the entire first year of our relationship, I just thought she hated high fives.
You never smiled.
Girlfriend : You've never smiled at me since we started dating.
Me: I thought you said you wanted a serious relationship
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Archaeologists s**... at relationships...
... that's why they are dating dinosaours
Why do Hitmen have trouble maintaining steady relationships?
Because their dates are always afraid of being taken out.