Dating Profile Jokes
33 dating profile jokes and hilarious dating profile puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dating profile that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Dating Profile Short Jokes
Short dating profile jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dating profile humour may include short dating website jokes also.
- As a guy who is 5'7 , I'm surprised guys my height think they're locked out of dating Most ladies' profiles say looking for long term, open to short
- My date accused me of lying on my Tinder profile, but what I wrote was absolutely true. I DO have the body of an Olympic athlete. It's buried in the backyard.
- [First Date] Me: Your profile says you're good at finishing sentences?
Her: Yeah, Totally!
Me: Same! I just finished a 20 year sentence for manslaughter - I made a dating profile on Farmers Only Because when it comes to women, I know how to a-tractor.
- I have a delivery van set as my profile picture on dating websites. I just want the ladies to know what they're getting into.
- I like to lie a lot on online dating profiles. But I have to tell you the hardest part about being six foot - five is finding someone who loves me for me.
- "Slim chance" and "fat chance" mean the same thing, but when I put "slim" on my dating profile, I get accused of catfishing.
- On my online dating profile it clearly says that I'm 6 foot - 4 inches So why when I turn up are woman always disappointed that I'm 5'8
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Dating Profile One Liners
Which dating profile one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dating profile? I can suggest the ones about dating site and tinder profile.
- What does Medusa have in her dating profile? Beware: I'm drop dead gorgeous.
- Why can't Mario get a tinder date? His profile picture was him killing a turtle.
- Summer weather is like a terrible dating profile... "24 but feels like 36."
- Date: You don't look anything like your profile picture Incredible Hulk: THE BUS WAS LATE
- So Gary Johnson got a tinder profile... He's a great third party man-to-date.
- I cropped my kids out of my online dating profile photos. They can find their own dates.
- Happy 10th birthday to your dating profile pic.
Dating Profile Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about dating profile you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dating app jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dating profile pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I once dated a girl named Rachel, but she turned out to be a n**... b**.... As a result, I now refuse to associate with women named Rachel
Then again, I could just be Rachel profiling
After 3 failed marriages, an old woman decides to try an online dating site..
She sets up an account with all her info and says she is looking for "a man who will not beat me, Will not walk all over me, and is great in bed." After 2 weeks no one has replied. Then, one day some one rings the doorbell. The woman gets up and opens the door to see a man with no arms and no legs sitting there. He says "Hello, I'm here about your online dating profile." the woman says to him, "well I want a man who won't beat me.." the man says "I have no arms, therefore I can not beat you." the woman says "well I want a man who won't walk all over me." the man replies "I have no legs, so I can't even walk." the woman says "well, I want a man who's great in bed.." the man replies "hey, I rang the doorbell didn't I?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw on this girl's dating profile that she's a "health and fitness j**...." So that's cool...
We've got one of those three things in common.
I went on a date with a girl I'd talked to briefly on Facebook.
After a while she said to me -
What's up? You seem disappointed.
Oh nothing, it's just you don't look anything like your profile picture
That's my 12 year old daughter
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In a Dating Site profile: "Looking for love and chemistry."
Doesn't quite have the same ring as: "Looking for h**... and drugs."
Was seeing a girl who had "I'm a dog person" on their dating profile.
I found it strange that she never introduced me to her dog though so I thought it might have died and never brought it up.
Around our 6 month anniversary she asked if we could spice things up. I said sure.
I was on the bed waiting and she came in on all fours wearing a wolf fursuit and a leash in her mouth.
I wonder what she is up to sometimes.
Thor gets a hit on his tinder profile...
After a night of wild, unrestrained god-level passion he notices his date looks a little knackered.
Sorry, but I'm Thor. He says
The girl looks up and says, You're Thor? I'm tho thor I can't thpeak
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A single guy walks into a bar
A single guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I've been trying that online dating thing. Almost every single girl has the same old line in their profile," he tells the bartender. "Oh yeah, what line is that?" the bartender asks. "They all say, 'If I was meant to be controlled I would have come with a remote,'" the guy says. "Well the joke's on them. I've been turning women off without a remote for years."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I tried online dating, but it was a disaster.
I never could understand what the profiles meant. Apparently, "GWM" does not stand for "Girl With Money".
A woman decides to try online dating
Setting up her new profile she starts looking for the exact opposite of her ex-husband who used to beat her before running away with another woman.
She states her new man must 1) Never hit her 2) Never run away and 3) Be great in bed.
A few days later the doorbell rings. When she answers there is a man with no arms and no legs. He says "I'm here to take you on a date, as you can see I've got no arms to hit you and no legs to run away"
Intrigued she replies "But what about number 3? Are you great in bed?"
He says "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman is sick and tired of having bad relationships...
She's had the worst of the worst. Men who would run out on her, beat her, and men who were downright terrible on bed. In an attempt to better future relationships she decided to give online dating a try.
She filled out her profile and specified she was looking for a good hearted man who would never leave or a**... her who was also an efficient lover. It wasn't long after she had posted her profile that she was getting replies. She met with a few of them, but none of them felt like they truly met her requirements.
She was about to give up hope when she had a knock at her door. She opened it to find a man with no arms, and no legs there waiting.
"i'm here about your dating ad," he said.
The woman, who could barely believe what was in front of her replied, "you've got to be kidding me!"
Before she could slam the door the man interjected, "before you turn me away, hear me out. I've got no legs so I couldn't possibly run out on you and I've got no arms so I couldn't possibly hit you."
Still not convinced the woman asked, "oh? And how are you in bed with no arms or legs?"
"honey, how do you think I knocked in the door?"