Dating Knock Knock Jokes
14 dating knock knock jokes and hilarious dating knock knock puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dating knock knock that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Fun-Filled Dating Knock Knock Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What is a good dating knock knock joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A farmer has three daughters when they were finally allowed to date it went something like this.
First daughter..... Guy knocks on the door and says "Hi I'm Joe. I'm here to pick up Flo and take her to a show is she ready to go?" Second daughter.... Guy knocks on the door and says, "hi I'm Eddie I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going to eat spaghetti. Is she ready?" Third daughter.... Guy knocks on the door and says "hi my name is CHUCK!" Dad promptly slams the door!!!!
A farmer has three daughters.
A boy knocks on the door and says "I'm Eddie and I'm here to take Betty for spaghetti."
The farmer calls Betty and she goes on her date with the young man.
Another boy knocks on the door and says to the farmer "I'm Joe and I'm here to take Flo to the show".
The farmer calls Flo downstairs and the two go to the show.
A third boy then knocks on the front door and says "I'm Chuck..." and the farmer shoots him.
The Mom app.
I had a blind date last night. But I was concerned -- What do I do if she's really unattractive? I'll be stuck with her all night.
Turns out, There's an app for that.
It's called "Mom, Are You OK?". It schedules your phone to ring just after you meet her.
If you like her, you ignore it.
If you want to cut short the date, you answer with, "Mom? What's the matter? Are you okay?"
It works every time.
So I knocked on the girl's door. Turns out I needn't have worried.
She was gorgeous!
I couldn't get over how attractive she was!!
Just as I was about to speak to her, her phone rang!!!
She answered it and said, "Mom, what's the matter? Are you okay?" !!!!!!!!!!
Mom, are you okay?
A guy had a blind date last night. But he was concerned -- What do I do if she's really unattractive? I'll be stuck with her all night.
Turns out, There's an app for that.
It's called "Mom Are You Ok". It schedules your phone to ring just after you meet her.
If you like her, you ignore it.
If you want to cut short the date, you answer with, "Mom? What's the matter? Are you okay?"
It works every time.
So he knocked on the girl's door. Turns out he needn't have worried.
She was gorgeous!
He couldn't get over how attractive she was.
Just as he was about to speak to her, her phone rang.
She answered it and said, "Mom, what's the matter? Are you okay?"
So the farmer has three daughters who are about to go on their first dates.
And so he invites their dates to his home, where he waited at the door with a shotgun.
When the first guy knocked on the door, the farmer opens it and the guy says, "Hi, my name is Joe, I'm here for Flo. We're going to a show. Is she ready to go?"
The farmer thinks for a bit, then he lets them go.
When the second guy knocked on the door, the farmer opens it and the guy says, "Hi, my name is Eddie, I'm here for Betty. We're going to get some spaghetti. Is she ready?"
The farmer thinks for a bit, then he lets them go.
When the third guy knocked on the door, the farmer opens it and the guys says, "Hi, my name is Chuck."
So the farmer shot him.
:(
Blind Date
Joe sets up his friend Mike on a blind date with a young lady-friend of his. But Mike is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before. "What do I do if she's really unattractive?" says Mike. "I'll be stuck with her all night."
"Don't worry," Joe says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't just shout 'Aaaaaauuuggghhh!' and fake an asthma attack."
So that night, Mike knocks at the girl's door and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how attractive and s**... she is. He's about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts:
"Aaaaaauuuggghhh!
A Farmer had three daughters
who had come of the age of dating. One evening the dates arrive one by one.
The first daughters date knocks on the door and says " Hi, I am Eddy. I have come to take Betty for a spaghetti. Is she ready?"
The farmer replies "Not yet. Come in and have a seat". So he waits for her to get ready.
The second daughters date knocks on the door and says "Hi I am Joe, I have come to take Marilyn for a row is she ready?"
The farmer replies "Not yet. Come in and have a seat". So he too has to wait.
The thirds daughters date arrives, knocks on the door and says "Hi I am Chuck..." Bang!!! The farmer shoots him.
The Farmer's Daughters
Farmer Brown had 3 lovely daughters. The daughters announce to their father they are going out on dates that night. Farmer Brown agrees under the condition that he gets to talk to each of the young men first.
The first young man knocks on the door and Farmer Brown answers the door with his shotgun and says, "What is your business young man?" to which the young man replies, "My name is Eddie, I'm her for Betty, we're going to have spaghetti, is she ready?" The farmer decides Eddie is OK, gives his consent, and Betty and Eddie take off.
The next young man knocks on the door. Farmer Brown answers the door with his shotgun and says "What do you want?" and the young man says, "My name is Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're going to the show, is she set to go?" The farmer looks him over carefully, decides he's OK and off run Joe and Flo.
Finally the last young suitor knocks on the door. Farmer Brown growls, "What do you want?" to which he replies, "My name is Chuck..." and Farmer Brown shoots him
Meeting a blind date
Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nerviously knocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said.
"I'll be ready in a few minutes," she said. "Why don't you play with Rollo while you're waiting? He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up, and if you make a hoop with your arms, he'll jump through."
The dog followed Paul onto the balcony and started rolling over. Paul made a hoop with his arms, and Rollo jumped through and went right over the balcony railing. Just then, Paul's date walked out.
"Isn't Rollo the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?"
"To tell the truth," he replied, "He seemed a little depressed to me."
A woman is sick and tired of having bad relationships...
She's had the worst of the worst. Men who would run out on her, beat her, and men who were downright terrible on bed. In an attempt to better future relationships she decided to give online dating a try.
She filled out her profile and specified she was looking for a good hearted man who would never leave or a**... her who was also an efficient lover. It wasn't long after she had posted her profile that she was getting replies. She met with a few of them, but none of them felt like they truly met her requirements.
She was about to give up hope when she had a knock at her door. She opened it to find a man with no arms, and no legs there waiting.
"i'm here about your dating ad," he said.
The woman, who could barely believe what was in front of her replied, "you've got to be kidding me!"
Before she could slam the door the man interjected, "before you turn me away, hear me out. I've got no legs so I couldn't possibly run out on you and I've got no arms so I couldn't possibly hit you."
Still not convinced the woman asked, "oh? And how are you in bed with no arms or legs?"
"honey, how do you think I knocked in the door?"
4-story building
So there is a building with 4 levels a different person living on each level. On the 1st story is a married couple. The 2nd story houses a dating couple. The 3rd story is home to a blind man and his dog. On the 4th story lives a women. The lady on the 4th story decides to take a shower. She has gotten into the shower when she heard a knck on the door. She puts on her towel and answers the door. Its the dating couple. They say "fongragulate us". the lady asks why. the couple replies saying "We're engaged". She congragulates them and goes back to her shower. There is another knock on the door. She puts on her towel and answers the door. Its the married couple. "Congratulate us" they say. The lady asks why. They reply saying "We're pregnant". She congratulates them and goes to her shower. She hears another knock on the door. She can tell its the blind man because she can hear his lead dog with him so she doesn't bother putting on her towel since hes blind. She answers the door and the blind man says congratulate me. She asks why. The blind man says "I can see".
Joke I came up with (needs work)
So there are this brother and sister who live together, Cee and Sofie. Sofie says she has a date tonight, the guy will be over at 8 and that Cee will have to let him in while she gets all pampered up.
So later that evening, there is a knock at the door and Sofie shouts out from upstairs "Cee, can you get that?"
Cee opens the door and sees an enormous orange standing in front of him. Cee begins to speak.....
"You are?.......", Cee asks
"Hi!", says the Orange
"Invite him in Cee!", Sofie shouts from upstairs.
The Orange replies, "Not to mention calcium and potassium!"
A teenage boy takes a quadriplegic g**.
.. a date to dinner and the movies. At the end of the night out, he drives her back home and they start making out in his car. He tells the girl he feels uncomfortable doing this where her parents could come outside and catch them in the act. She says not to worry because she has a place they can go. So he helps her in her chair and she tells him to wheel her into the backyard. When they get in the back, she shows him a huge weeping willow tree that they can hide under and says he can do whatever he wants to her. Under the tree, she shows him two branches that can prop her up and he has his way with her. When they finish, he dresses himself and her, puts back into her chair, wheels her to the front door, and knocks. When her father sees the young man, he thanks him. The boy feels very uncomfortable because of what he just did to the man's daughter and asks, "Why are you thanking me?" "Because son," the father answers, "You are the first boy to take her out of the tree."
Jason gets off the elevator on the 50th floor and nervously knocks on his blind date's door.
She opens it and is very beautiful and charming.
"I'll be ready in a few minutes," she says. "Why don't you play with Spot, my dog, while you're waiting? He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up, and if you make a hoop with your arms, he'll jump through."
The dog follows Jason onto the balcony and starts rolling over. John makes a hoop with his arms and Spot jumps through, over the balcony railing. Just then, Jason's date walks out.
"Isn't Spot the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?"
"To tell the the truth, " he replies, "Spot seemed a little depressed to me!"
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