Date Of Birth Jokes
18 date of birth jokes and hilarious date of birth puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about date of birth that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Date Of Birth Short Jokes
Short date of birth jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The date of birth humour may include short birth day jokes also.
- The Nigerian Government is now offering a $3m reward for the safe return of the missing girls. All you need to do is provide your name, address, date of birth, bank details and mother's maiden name.
- Two Unix experts are talking about their age... - What is your date of birth?
- 0
- Ohh, nice I was born in January too. - What did children used to celebrate on thei r date of birth when Industrial Revolution took place? Labor day.
- What holiday commemorates the birth date of the most interesting man in the world? Charismas
- What's the best part about dating a terminally ill cancer patient? They are their own birth control
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Date Of Birth One Liners
Which date of birth one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with date of birth? I can suggest the ones about date and mean birthday.
- Want to know when you die? Check the expiration date on your birth certificate.....
- Dating has been really tough since the accident With the birth control.
Date Of Birth Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about date of birth you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean calendar date jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make date of birth pranks.
A German man goes on holiday
to Poland, he gets stopped at the border (because it's an out of date joke), and the border guard checks his papers and decides to ask him a few questions
"Name?"
"Hans Schmidt"
"Age?"
"32"
"Place of birth?"
"Dusseldorf"
"Occupation?"
"No, just visiting"
Thank you for calling the Psychiatric Institute of Mental Health
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If you suffer from low self-esteem, keep waiting: all our operators are busy responding to people who are much more important than you.
If you are one of the Italians that voted for Berlusconi, please hang up. We cure the crazy, not the jerks.
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A 75 year old man with all white hair is dating a 22 year old girl. His girlfriend is pregnant. After the birth he asks the nurse well nurse, how did I do? The nurse replied you did great she had twins. The old man responded A little snow on the roof and I still got a fire in the furnace
To This the nurse replied Well you may want to clean the filters because those babies are black
Topical Jokes for 2/8
A company in Denver has created a dating app that connects fellow p**... smokers. The app is great because even if you don't like the person you meet, sparks are gonna fly.
In Florida, a woman who didn't know she was pregnant set a state record by giving birth to a 14 pound baby. The woman realized she was pregnant when the 14 pound baby started k**..., and cracked three of her ribs.
Researchers have developed a smartphone app that lets you test yourself for STDs. The app can be a bit confusing to use at first, especially if you've never seen the You've Got AIDS emoji.
Miracle....
A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they could not decide what to do about it.
About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman, "I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle."
"Do you think it will work?" she asks.
"It's worth a try." he says. So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest.
After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this.".
"What?" asks the priest, "what happened?".
"You gave birth to a child!".
"But that's impossible!" says the priest.
"I just did the operation," insists the doctor, "it's a miracle! Here's your baby."
About fifteen years go by, and the priest realizes he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says, "Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father."
The son says, "What do you mean, you're not my father?"
The priest replies, "I am your mother. The archbishop is your father."
A woman starts dating a doctor.
Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do.
About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection.
The doctor says to the woman, "I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle."
"Do you think it will work?" she asks.
"It's worth a try." he says.
So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest.
After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this.".
"What?" asks the priest, "what happened?".
"You gave birth to a child!".
"But that's impossible!" says the priest.
"I just did the operation," insists the doctor, "It's a miracle! Here's your baby."
About fifteen years go by, and the priest realises he must tell his son the truth.
One day, he sits the boy down and says, "Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father."
The son says, "What do you mean, you're not my father?"
The priest replies, "I am your mother, the archbishop is your father."
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 969696969696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the dash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9…
A woman starts dating a doctor. She eventually becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman, "I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle." "Do you think it will work?" she asks. "It's worth a try," he says. The doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest. After the operation, he goes to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this." "What happened?" asks the priest. "You gave birth to a child!" "But that's impossible!" says the priest. "I just did the operation," insists the doctor. "It's a miracle! Here's your baby." About 15 years go by, and the priest realizes he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says, "Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father." The son says, "What do you mean, you're not my father?" The priest replies, "I am your mother. The archbishop is your father."