Database Jokes

33 database jokes and hilarious database puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about database that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

We all know that databases can be complicated with their endless tables, intricate queries, and numerous functions, but who knew they could also fuel some fantastic humor? This selection of clever database jokes is perfect for providing comic relief in the world of computer science, be it during long coding sessions, in data management classes, or even in tech-meets on databases.

These jokes not only showcase your extensive command over the subject but also lighten the atmosphere, making technology and programming approachable and fun. Balancing humor with tech-savviness, these jokes are perfect for developers, computer science students, or anyone with an interest in database humor. Get ready to 'query' up the laughter – we're about to set in motion a few 'tables' of hilarity!

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Funniest Database Short Jokes

Short database jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The database humour may include short dashboard jokes also.

  1. Did you know the US police have the most comprehensive and well maintained database of potential racist shooters? They call it the payroll .
  2. [Walks into a bar] An sql query walks into a bar. Looking around, he sees a pair of tables. Going up to them, he asks, "Excuse me, but do you mind if I join you?"
  3. I'm planning to make a film series on databases. I've got the first part ready, but I can't think of a SQL.
  4. How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database? Pop, Lock & Drop It
  5. SQL Three SQL databases walk into a bar... then they leave. Why?

    They couldn't find a table.
  6. A group of students are learning about databases in their IT class... Their teacher asks them "How do you raise a query?"
    From the back of a class a boy shouts out "Ask Jason's mom!".
  7. Why was the pyro so upset when he searched for his favorite book in the library database? Results showed "no matches found"
  8. Why does Pennywise make such a horrible SQL database architect? He tries to cast all the data to float.
  9. Why do Database Administrators hate microgravity? When they drop a table, it doesn't go anywhere
  10. What did the database admin say when he recovered a corrupted database? Keep calm and query on.

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Database One Liners

Which database one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with database? I can suggest the ones about server and desktop.

  1. Three database engineers walk into a bar… … they couldn't find a table.
  2. What do you call a crowd-sourced internet database for turntables? Wiki-Wiki-Wikipedia
  3. Did you see the movie about a database query? I heard the SQL is better.
  4. A database professional walks into a bar And joins two tables.
  5. I've made a DataBase of some of the worst Carpool Karaoke songs ever. It's called CarDB!
  6. A database programmer writes a book. But every one is disappointed that there is no SQL.
  7. What Database System does a Communist use ? RDBMS
  8. Q: How did the elephant destroy the database?
    A: His truncate it.
  9. Bob's first documentary on early databases didn't do well But the SQL was awesome!
  10. What is Niantic's favorite type of database? Poke-MongoDB
  11. Baking soda joined OKCupid forcing a database update.
  12. What kind of database does a Pokédex use? PokéMongoDB
  13. What's the largest database for child s**... predators? IMDB
  14. IMDB is officially changing their name... To the International m**... DataBase.

Database joke, IMDB is officially changing their name...

Silly & Ridiculous Database Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about database you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean desk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make database pranks.

A man walks into a library

And sheepishly asks the librarian behind the counter "excuse me, but do you have that new book for men with small p**...?".
The librarian acknowledges the request and starts typing away on her computer to check the database, she turns back to the man and says "It's not in yet..."
"That's the one!" The man says.

Topical Jokes for 6/1

A video has surfaced of Justin Bieber saying the n-word. People are calling it the least offensive Justin Bieber video ever.
In Illinois, a 115-pound-woman won a hot dog eating contest, after she ate 28 hot dogs. The judges then congratulated the 138-pound-woman.
The NSA is reportedly collecting millions of images per day to build a f**...-recognition database. The NSA is cataloguing the photos in a massive online database -- it's called Instagram.

Breakups are the best excuse.

Your friends want to go out to that restaurant you hate?
Just look sad and say: My girlfriend and I used to love going there...
Boom, nobody wants to go anymore. Pity works wonders.
Your boss asks you at stay late Friday night?
Look sad and say: My girlfriend and I used to do SQL database backups...
Boom, no work!

Database joke, I've made a DataBase of some of the worst Carpool Karaoke songs ever.

jokes about database