The Best 19 Database Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Database jokes. There are some database mysql jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these database rar puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Database Jokes and Puns

What's the largest database for child sex predators?


What do you call a crowd-sourced internet database for turntables?


A man walks into a library

And sheepishly asks the librarian behind the counter "excuse me, but do you have that new book for men with small penises?".
The librarian acknowledges the request and starts typing away on her computer to check the database, she turns back to the man and says "It's not in yet..."
"That's the one!" The man says.

Database joke, A man walks into a library

How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database?

Pop, Lock & Drop It

A database professional walks into a bar

And joins two tables.

Why was the pyro so upset when he searched for his favorite book in the library database?

Results showed "no matches found"

Why does Pennywise make such a horrible SQL database architect?

He tries to cast all the data to float.

Database joke, Why does Pennywise make such a horrible SQL database architect?

Why do Database Administrators hate microgravity?

When they drop a table, it doesn't go anywhere

Breakups are the best excuse.

Your friends want to go out to that restaurant you hate?

Just look sad and say: My girlfriend and I used to love going there...

Boom, nobody wants to go anymore. Pity works wonders.

Your boss asks you at stay late Friday night?

Look sad and say: My girlfriend and I used to do SQL database backups...

Boom, no work!

What did the database admin say when he recovered a corrupted database?

Keep calm and query on.

I've made a DataBase of some of the worst Carpool Karaoke songs ever.

It's called CarDB!

You can explore database compile reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean database directory dad jokes. There are also database puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What did the programming languages think about the database movie?

They couldn't wait to see the SQL!

I was asked to come to a party by my friend when it is still banned because of the Coronavirus.

Me: Sorry can't come

Friend: Why not

Me: Might get arrested

Friend: So what it'll be such a great party you won't care about a petty fine

Me: But I'll be on the police database which could damage my future career

Friend: What do you want to be?

Me: A criminal

A database programmer writes a book.

But every one is disappointed that there is no SQL.

What Database System does a Communist use ?


A New Perspective on Recent Breaches of Secret Governmental Data

Q: What do you call an unauthorized breach of a government database containing classified information?

A: An undocumented FOIA request

Database joke, A New Perspective on Recent Breaches of Secret Governmental Data

A blonde detective is approached by a rookie

and he asks her how she thinks they will identify a victim if the victim has been decapitated and had his fingers hands cut off. The blonde detective responds with "It's simple, how many people do you think there are in this city without heads? All you need to do is run their picture against our database!"

Someone should compile all of the unique jokes on this sub into a database

the only problem is, is that databases cant handle less than 5 entries

What is Niantic's favorite type of database?


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the database wal jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working database homepage piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes