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Data Jokes

126 data jokes and hilarious data puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about data that are clean and suitable for kids and friends. We've covered all the best big data jokes.

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Funniest Data Short Jokes

Short data jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The data humour may include short information jokes also.

  1. My stats professor told me that the larger the sample size the more trustworthy the data. I guess the N's justify the means.
  2. What is the difference between USA and USB? One connects to all of your devices and accesses the data, the other is a hardware standard.
  3. What is the difference between USA and USB? One connects to your computer and accesses all your data. The other is an industry standard.
  4. The misuse of users' Facebook data has caused mark zuckerberg significant emotional distress. He asks that you respect his privacy during this challenging time.
  5. There are two types of people in this world: One, who can extrapolate from incomplete data, Two.
  6. What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and Jean Luc Picard? Picard didn't sell Data.
  7. There are two kinds of people in this world 1. Those who can extrapolate meaning from incomplete data
  8. There are 2 types of people in this world Those with the ability to extrapolate information from incomplete data
  9. There are two kinds of people in the world There are two kinds of people in the world. There are those who can extrapolate from incomplete data,
  10. New data has claimed that only 52% of students leave school with an acceptable grade in Maths. Safe to say I am part of the 34% that struggled with it.

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Data One Liners

Which data one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with data? I can suggest the ones about statistics and info.

  1. What was Tasha Yars' favorite job? Data Entry
  2. Yo mama's so fat... ...she has to upgrade her data plan every time she sends a selfie.
  3. There's two types of people Those that can deduce facts from incomplete data
  4. What does baby computer call his father? Data.
  5. There are two types of people: 1. People who are able to extrapolate from incomplete data
  6. What does the baby computer call it's father? Data.
  7. I like my women like I like my computer data, with the ability to back it up.
  8. What did the data say to the CPU? Cache me outside
  9. Why did ChatGPT refuse to go on a date? Because it was already too busy processing data!
  10. What did the baby computer say to the big computer? Data.
  11. One class D personnel from SCP foundation walks into a bar. \[DATA EXPUNGED\]
  12. Moses was very modern He was the first to get a tablet with a data from the cloud
  13. Where did the Wifi router go? He went data way.
  14. Which way did the programmer go? He went data way.
  15. What do you call an Asian woman who lives next to a data centre? Ping Lo.

Data Collection Jokes

Here is a list of funny data collection jokes and even better data collection puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If you think that your microwave is collecting data and the Tv is spying on you is bad enough... The vacuum have been gathering dirt on your for years...
  • I collected a lot of data trying to disprove observation bias. The results were exactly what I expected.
  • Which food collects your personal data? A Zuckerburger.
  • NY Times said Gen Xers spend the most amount of time on the internet. Data were collected by survey monkey, analyzed by baby boomers and written up by the millennial intern.
  • How did Alice describe the data she collected in Wonderland? Spuriouser and spuriouser

Data Stored Jokes

Here is a list of funny data stored jokes and even better data stored puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Where do ghosts store their data? On their terrorbyte hard drives.
  • Putin wants to block LinkedIn You just can't store data.
  • What's a pirate's favorite device to store data on ? CD-r**...
  • My f**... is able to store data... Since it's a Cloud
  • How do druggies store their data? l**... Cards.

Data Protection Jokes

Here is a list of funny data protection jokes and even better data protection puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Santa Jingle… He's making a list.
    He's checking it twice.
    Gonna find out who's naughty or nice.
    Santa Claus is in violation of the General Data Protection Regulation (EU) 2016/679
  • If I had a pound for every email I got about data protection... I'd have...
    Well that's private
  • I named my data endpoint protection AI "Johnny". He's my Johnny D.E.P.P.
  • Facebook is promising to protect users from data misuse. Meanwhile, Darth Vader is teaching CPR.
  • I'm really worried about my privacy being compromised and my personal data being shared by third parties. "Alexa, what steps can I take to protect my privacy?"
  • How do you protect your data files against a seizure? Epileptic key cryptography

Big Data Jokes

Here is a list of funny big data jokes and even better big data puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • s**... in high school is like big data Everybody talks about it but nobody knows what it is
Data joke, s**... in high school is like big data

Hilarious Data Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends

What funny jokes about data you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stats jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make data pranks.

BLONDES BLOW IT

Q: What's it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.

What Did The Hard Drive Get When It Wanted Data But Didn't Have The Resources?

A Cache-Advance

I recently told my girlfriend about removing the cookies and site data because it slows down the browser speed...

Now she understands why I delete the browsing history everyday.

A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician sit at a bench in a park

They see a man walk into a shed. 10 minutes later, two people walk out.
The biologist says "It was reproduction",
the physicist says "It must be bad data",
but the mathematician doesn't say anything.
A few minutes later, someone else walks in the shed.
The mathematician goes "Ok, *now* nobody is in the shed"

Your options when you want to backup your data...

If you want to backup your data, you've got only 2 options. NAS or NSA.

How many SCPs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

[DATA EXPUNGED]

Being a p**... on the Enterprise sounded interesting...

But actually it's mostly Data entry.

Statistical inference joke - why are two medians in a single data set funny?

Because it's a co-median ^_^

A friend of mine accidentally deleted my game data and told me to calm down

...So after a nice cup of tea, i hid his body

What's a ghost's favorite data type?

BOO-lean!

I couldn't figure out why my data wasn't coming out like my classmate's, until I realized I dropped a square root in the formula.

I put it back in and re-plotted the data. I saw a radical change.

Why doesn't Captain Picard have an iPhone

He already has an android, and it came with a data plan.

How many Brent Spiners does it take to screw in a lightbulb

Hard to say, I don't have enough Data

what does a baby computer call its parents?

data & motherboard.

Three men walk in to a bar. One of them is wearing a hat

Oops!
Your current data plan doesnt cover this feature. Click here to upgrade.

Why do Database Administrators hate microgravity?

When they drop a table, it doesn't go anywhere

I was visiting my hometown and I drove past the data recovery center I used to work at.

It really brought back a lot of memories.

If I'm carrying around a USB stick

Do I have mobile data?

An O-5, a Foundation Agent, and Doctor Bright walk into a bar.

[DATA EXPUNGED]

A database professional walks into a bar

And joins two tables.

Claims that cloud storage is the future of smartphone memory issues

Sounds good, but I have no data to back it up.

What is the difference betweeen the USA and a USB

One records and reads all of your personal data, and the other is a hardware standard.

What does a baby computer call it's dad?

DATA!

Measuring vs Questionaries

Me: To get the mass of each Can of chicken I used a digital scale
Teacher: Why did you use that method to obtain your data as
opposed to the other methods?
Me: Because the cans refused to answer the questionnaires honestly

I was playing grand theft auto 5 when all of a sudden it crashes and an error message pops up

It read unfortunately the game is corrupted and the data will be deleted feeling sad and annoying with my 100s of hours lost I looked up online as to why it happened. I found a guide that said if you restart the game on the same console and go to the nearest garage and talk to the guy who's working on the car it can fix it. I did just that and it restored my old saves!
Thank god for that game mechanic

There are 2 types of people...

1. Those who are able to make inferences from incomplete data.

Find out if Cambridge Analytica has access to your data...

But first, fill out this personality & psychological profile quiz to find out...

What would Mark Zuckerberg add to the game, if he created MineCraft?

Data.
So he can mine it.

Data gathered from over 10,000 prisoners worldwide suggests that the most common side effect is...

...cell-ulite.

There are 2 kinds of people

1. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

Why does Pennywise make such a horrible SQL database architect?

He tries to cast all the data to float.

Who is the first person to have downloaded data from the cloud and onto their tablet?

Moses.

I hate it when people use the average of several data points to represent their data.

It's just mean.

A crazy guy was taking the bus

There was this crazy guy that took the bus every data and always bought two tickets.
The bus driver intrigued one day decided to ask "why do you always buy two tickets" and the crazy guy says " well its simple I put one ticket in my left pocket and one in my right that way if i lose one I still have the other " and the driver asks " and what if you lose both tickets?" And he goes " oh don't worry i have a bus pass "

Why couldn't the restaurant owners open a new data center

They just didn't have enough servers...

Turns out google is selling your personal data

Bing if true.

I went to the doctor today for a checkup and he showed me on a chart that I'm 20 pounds overweight.

But, I pointed out that using his very same data, *I'm not overweight.* I just need to be 3 inches taller.

I checked my phone bill after my trip to Italy, and it said I spent DCXII dollars.

I must have left on Data Roman.

A data analyst walks into a bar and sees two tables..

So he goes over to them and says; "Hey guys, can I join you?"

There are 11 types of people,

People who understand binary, and people that can extrapolate from incomplete data sets.

Don't have enough storage?

Buy a chinese phone, so you are ensured that CCP has backup of all your data.

There are two kinds of people in the world

1) Those who can extrapolate from missing data.

Does anyone know why tik tok data is getting stolen?

I thought they would be looking for intelligence.....

There are two kinds of people in the world...

those who are unable to extrapolate from data.

The most embarrassing thing that can happen to a data scientist...

Is p**... extrapolation.

What do a zoo owner and a Python data analyst have in common?

They both import pandas.

NSA's pick up lines:

"Did you fall from heaven? Because there's no tracking data on how you arrived at this location" "I'd tap that" "I know exactly where you have been all my life"

Why did Lt. Commander Data get arrested?

Because he was being charged with a battery.

There are 2 types of people on this planet

Those who can extrapolate omitted data using existing data.

Do you know why they called it TikTok?

Cos in just a matter of seconds it steals all your data!

What's the difference between USA and USB?

One connects to your devices and gathers your personal data, and the other is an industry standard.

What does a baby computer call his father?

Data!!! Daataa!!!

My LGBTQ+ programmer friend told me they were having trouble with some data inputs the other day...

I think it's because they're non-binary

Present tense of cloud?

As I was saying goodnight to my 10 year old son this evening he said:
I saw a bunch of clouds while we were out hiking today. I wonder which one holds my data...
I groaned as I closed his bedroom door. He'll make a great dad someday!

Did you know?

Did you know that a s**... cell contains 35.75 MB of data. Making a load contain about 16TB
Yes i know, thats alot of information to s**....

I was arrested for having an unhealthy attraction to large amounts of data

They're calling me a petaphile

Data joke, I was arrested for having an unhealthy attraction to large amounts of data

jokes about data