data Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious data puns

A single sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA information in it. That means an average ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587.5 TB

That's a lot of information to swallow


-wow thanks for the upvotes and gold

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My stats professor told me that the larger the sample size the more trustworthy the data.

I guess the N's justify the means.

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What is the difference between USA and USB?

One connects to all of your devices and accesses the data, the other is a hardware standard.

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The misuse of users' Facebook data has caused Mark Zuckerberg significant emotional distress.

He asks that you respect his privacy during this challenging time.

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A single sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA information in it. That means an average ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587.5 TB

That's a lot of information to swallow...

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Yo mama's so fat...

...she has to upgrade her data plan every time she sends a selfie.

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There's two types of people

Those that can deduce facts from incomplete data

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There are 2 types of people in this world

Those with the ability to extrapolate information from incomplete data

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There are two kinds of people in the world

There are two kinds of people in the world. There are those who can extrapolate from incomplete data,

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What's the difference between USA and USB?

One connects to all devices and stores your data.

The other one is an industry standard.

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What would Mark Zuckerberg add to the game, if he created MineCraft?

Data.

So he can mine it.

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What does baby computer call his father?

Data.

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Why doesn't Captain Picard have an iPhone

He already has an android, and it came with a data plan.

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I like my women like I like my computer data,

with the ability to back it up.

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What's the difference between USA and USB?

One connects to all of your devices and stores all your data.

The other is standard hardware.

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What did the data say to the CPU?

Cache me outside

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I was playing grand theft auto 5 when all of a sudden it crashes and an error message pops up

It read unfortunately the game is corrupted and the data will be deleted feeling sad and annoying with my 100s of hours lost I looked up online as to why it happened. I found a guide that said if you restart the game on the same console and go to the nearest garage and talk to the guy who's working on the car it can fix it. I did just that and it restored my old saves!
Thank god for that game mechanic

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Who is the first person to have downloaded data from the cloud and onto their tablet?

Moses.

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I hate it when people use the average of several data points to represent their data.

It's just mean.

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Dad, what is the difference between "in theory" and "in practice?"

A son asks a father what the difference between "in theory" and "in practice" was. His father replies "go ask your older sister, mother and grandmother whether they would fuck a man for 1 million dollars. The boy asks them. His sister replied "yes," his mother replied "yes" and his grandma replied "for much less even!" So the boy returns his survey data to his father and asks "how is this relevant to the question?" The father responds "it's a good example, you see in theory we have 3 million dollars, but in practice we have 3 whores."

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What is the difference betweeen the USA and a USB

One records and reads all of your personal data, and the other is a hardware standard.

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Statistical inference joke - why are two medians in a single data set funny?

Because it's a co-median ^_^

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What Did The Hard Drive Get When It Wanted Data But Didn't Have The Resources?

A Cache-Advance

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I collected a lot of data trying to disprove observation bias.

The results were exactly what I expected.

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Datasheet of a Woman

Element | Woman

Symbol | ♀

Discoverer | Adam

Atomic Mass Β  | Accepted as 55kg, but known to vary from 45kg to 225kg

**Physical Properties:**

1. Body surface normally covered with a film of powder and paint
2. Boils at absolutely nothing - freezes with no apparent reason
3. Found in various grades ranging from virgin material to common ore.

**Chemical Properties:**

1. Reacts well to gold, platinum and all precious stones.
2. Explodes spontaneously without reason or warning
3. The most powerful money reducing agent known to man

**Hazards**

1. Turns green when placed alongside a superior specimen.
2. Possession of more than one is possible but specimens must not make contact.

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One class D personnel from SCP foundation walks into a bar.

\[DATA EXPUNGED\]

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There are 2 types of people...

1. Those who are able to make inferences from incomplete data.

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I couldn't figure out why my data wasn't coming out like my classmate's, until I realized I dropped a square root in the formula.

I put it back in and re-plotted the data. I saw a radical change.

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What's the difference between a USB and the USA?

One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, the other is a harware standard.

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The Australian government sends a civil servant to gather data about the habits of a remote Aboriginal tribe

The civil servant asks a tribesman a series of questions about his life and eventually the matter of personal hygiene comes up.

\- How often do you wash your penis?

\- "Penis"? What's a "penis"?


Thinking this is the quickest way to explain, the civil servant drops his pants and shows him his penis.

Later the tribesman talks with his friend,

\- Do you know what a "penis" is?

\- No, what is it?

\- It's like a dick, but smaller

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Big Data is like fire, but reversed.

At first it seemed a big technological advancement, now it is just some shit that scares people.

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What do you call an Asian woman who lives next to a data centre?

Ping Lo.

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Which way did the programmer go?

He went data way.

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Being a prostitute on the Enterprise sounded interesting...

But actually it's mostly Data entry.

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An engineer, physicist, and a statistician in a hotel room...

So an engineer, a physicist, and a statistician are all sleeping in a hotel room when suddenly an outlet catches fire. The engineer wakes up first and says to himself "this is an electrical fire, water won't work!" And runs to grab a fire extinguisher. The physicist wakes up next and thinks to himself "we have to cut the electricity off!" And runs to the power panel in the basement. The statistician wakes up and looks around, he then screams "we need more data!!" And he sets the curtains on fire.

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What are the most funny Data jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Data? Well, here are the best Data dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Data pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes