Data Jokes
123 data jokes and hilarious data puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about data that are clean and suitable for kids and friends. We've covered all the best big data jokes.
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Funniest Data Short Jokes
Short data jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The data humour may include short information jokes also.
- My stats professor told me that the larger the sample size the more trustworthy the data. I guess the N's justify the means.
- What is the difference between USA and USB? One connects to all of your devices and accesses the data, the other is a hardware standard.
- The misuse of users' Facebook data has caused mark zuckerberg significant emotional distress. He asks that you respect his privacy during this challenging time.
- What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and Jean Luc Picard? Picard didn't sell Data.
- New data has claimed that only 52% of students leave school with an acceptable grade in Maths. Safe to say I am part of the 34% that struggled with it.
- What would Mark Zuckerberg add to the game, if he created MineCraft? Data.
So he can mine it. - Why doesn't Captain Picard have an iPhone He already has an android, and it came with a data plan.
- The latest 23andMe data breach is believed to be perpetrated by the same hacker from the previous breach. It appears they're related.
- Santa Jingle… He's making a list.
He's checking it twice.
Gonna find out who's naughty or nice.
Santa Claus is in violation of the General Data Protection Regulation (EU) 2016/679 - A data analyst walks into a bar and sees two tables.. So he goes over to them and says; "Hey guys, can I join you?"
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Data One Liners
Which data one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with data? I can suggest the ones about statistics and info.
- What was Tasha Yars' favorite job? Data Entry
- What does baby computer call his father? Data.
- I like my women like I like my computer data, with the ability to back it up.
- What did the data say to the CPU? Cache me outside
- Why did ChatGPT refuse to go on a date? Because it was already too busy processing data!
- One class D personnel from SCP foundation walks into a bar. \[DATA EXPUNGED\]
- Where did the Wifi router go? He went data way.
- Which way did the programmer go? He went data way.
- What do you call an Asian woman who lives next to a data centre? Ping Lo.
- What do a zoo owner and a Python data analyst have in common? They both import pandas.
- Why did Lt. Commander Data get arrested? Because he was being charged with a battery.
- What do you call it when data goes on a difficult car journey? A hard drive
- Which food collects your personal data? A Zuckerburger.
- what does a baby computer call its parents? data & motherboard.
- What's a ghost's favorite data type? BOO-lean!
Data Stored Jokes
Here is a list of funny data stored jokes and even better data stored puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Where do ghosts store their data? On their terrorbyte hard drives.
- Putin wants to block LinkedIn You just can't store data.
Data Collected Jokes
Here is a list of funny data collected jokes and even better data collected puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If you think that your microwave is collecting data and the Tv is spying on you is bad enough... The vacuum have been gathering dirt on your for years...
- I collected a lot of data trying to disprove observation bias. The results were exactly what I expected.
- NY Times said Gen Xers spend the most amount of time on the internet. Data were collected by survey monkey, analyzed by baby boomers and written up by the millennial intern.
- How did Alice describe the data she collected in Wonderland? Spuriouser and spuriouser
Data Protection Jokes
Here is a list of funny data protection jokes and even better data protection puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If I had a pound for every email I got about data protection... I'd have...
Well that's private - I named my data endpoint protection AI "Johnny". He's my Johnny D.E.P.P.
- Facebook is promising to protect users from data misuse. Meanwhile, Darth Vader is teaching CPR.
- I'm really worried about my privacy being compromised and my personal data being shared by third parties. "Alexa, what steps can I take to protect my privacy?"
- How do you protect your data files against a seizure? Epileptic key cryptography
Data Scientist Jokes
Here is a list of funny data scientist jokes and even better data scientist puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Scientist: "Data on Global Warming should be ignored seriously when taken out of context" GOP: Scientists agree with us that "data on global warming should not be ignored"!
- What do scientists do when they get angry with their data? They throw a fit.
- What does a data scientist do after an heavy lunch? A pie shart.
Hilarious Data Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about data you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stats jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make data pranks.
What's the plural form of the word "anecdote"?
Data
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
what is big data ?
College professor asks students , " There is so much so going on about big data right now so What is big data ?"
John responds , " Sir, its like teenage s**.... Nobody quite understand it, everybody says know how to do it and claims to have done it and tell stories about how amazing was it everyday"
BLONDES BLOW IT
Q: What's it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.
What Did The Hard Drive Get When It Wanted Data But Didn't Have The Resources?
A Cache-Advance
I recently told my girlfriend about removing the cookies and site data because it slows down the browser speed...
Now she understands why I delete the browsing history everyday.
A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician sit at a bench in a park
They see a man walk into a shed. 10 minutes later, two people walk out.
The biologist says "It was reproduction",
the physicist says "It must be bad data",
but the mathematician doesn't say anything.
A few minutes later, someone else walks in the shed.
The mathematician goes "Ok, *now* nobody is in the shed"
What did the CPU say to the RAM?
Sorry to cache you out but I want the data closer. The RAM replied: you're right, "life" is too short.
What data service is red and wireless?
Flash-Drives
The introduction of Yoga Pants have been found to be the cause of a 0.65 drop in the GPA of Males.
I dont have significant data to back this up, But i have some notes from college that show causation.
Your options when you want to backup your data...
If you want to backup your data, you've got only 2 options. NAS or NSA.
How many SCPs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
[DATA EXPUNGED]
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Being a p**... on the Enterprise sounded interesting...
But actually it's mostly Data entry.
Statistical inference joke - why are two medians in a single data set funny?
Because it's a co-median ^_^
What's the problem with leptokurtic data sets?
They tend to be mean.
How did Bourne send data to the CIA?
JSON
A friend of mine accidentally deleted my game data and told me to calm down
...So after a nice cup of tea, i hid his body
Why couldn't we get precise kinetic data on the phosphine-catalyzed reaction?
The reaction rate was too phos-phor-us
I couldn't figure out why my data wasn't coming out like my classmate's, until I realized I dropped a square root in the formula.
I put it back in and re-plotted the data. I saw a radical change.
How did the residents of Fangorn Forest develop their website?
With some good old fashioned data ent-tree of course!
How many Brent Spiners does it take to screw in a lightbulb
Hard to say, I don't have enough Data
TIL: 5/7 People make up statistics on the spot.
There is a 50% chance this data lacks validity though.
Three men walk in to a bar. One of them is wearing a hat
Oops!
Your current data plan doesnt cover this feature. Click here to upgrade.
Why do Database Administrators hate microgravity?
When they drop a table, it doesn't go anywhere
I was visiting my hometown and I drove past the data recovery center I used to work at.
It really brought back a lot of memories.
If I'm carrying around a USB stick
Do I have mobile data?
An O-5, a Foundation Agent, and Doctor Bright walk into a bar.
[DATA EXPUNGED]
A database professional walks into a bar
And joins two tables.
Claims that cloud storage is the future of smartphone memory issues
Sounds good, but I have no data to back it up.
What is the difference betweeen the USA and a USB
One records and reads all of your personal data, and the other is a hardware standard.
Measuring vs Questionaries
Me: To get the mass of each Can of chicken I used a digital scale
Teacher: Why did you use that method to obtain your data as
opposed to the other methods?
Me: Because the cans refused to answer the questionnaires honestly
What did the database admin say when he recovered a corrupted database?
Keep calm and query on.
I was playing grand theft auto 5 when all of a sudden it crashes and an error message pops up
It read unfortunately the game is corrupted and the data will be deleted feeling sad and annoying with my 100s of hours lost I looked up online as to why it happened. I found a guide that said if you restart the game on the same console and go to the nearest garage and talk to the guy who's working on the car it can fix it. I did just that and it restored my old saves!
Thank god for that game mechanic
Everyone's so surprised about Facebook stealing their data. But not me...
...I saw the writing on the wall.
Zuckerberg really cares about personal data
Just ask the Winklevoss twins
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Each s**... contains 37.5 MB of information. A broken c**... is therefore a data breach.
Better get and NDA from the other party.
Find out if Cambridge Analytica has access to your data...
But first, fill out this personality & psychological profile quiz to find out...
Do you say data as data or data as data ?
Personally, I say data as data .
Data gathered from over 10,000 prisoners worldwide suggests that the most common side effect is...
...cell-ulite.
What's metaphor?
Describing data
Why does Pennywise make such a horrible SQL database architect?
He tries to cast all the data to float.
Who is the first person to have downloaded data from the cloud and onto their tablet?
Moses.
I hate it when people use the average of several data points to represent their data.
It's just mean.
A crazy guy was taking the bus
There was this crazy guy that took the bus every data and always bought two tickets.
The bus driver intrigued one day decided to ask "why do you always buy two tickets" and the crazy guy says " well its simple I put one ticket in my left pocket and one in my right that way if i lose one I still have the other " and the driver asks " and what if you lose both tickets?" And he goes " oh don't worry i have a bus pass "
Why couldn't the restaurant owners open a new data center
They just didn't have enough servers...
New data: in Manhattan, a pedestrian is hit by a car every ten minutes
... poor guy!
Turns out google is selling your personal data
Bing if true.
Mark Zuckerberg
Mark : we need 1000s of people's image so that we can fetch the data for the AI but we are running short on money this time. Any inputs?
Consultant 1: get the info from Apple's AI
Consultant 2: XoXo rofl! let's create a #10yearchallenge
Mark :
consultant :
Mark : perfe...
I went to the doctor today for a checkup and he showed me on a chart that I'm 20 pounds overweight.
But, I pointed out that using his very same data, *I'm not overweight.* I just need to be 3 inches taller.
I checked my phone bill after my trip to Italy, and it said I spent DCXII dollars.
I must have left on Data Roman.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a pirate's favorite device to store data on ?
CD-r**...
Don't have enough storage?
Buy a chinese phone, so you are ensured that CCP has backup of all your data.
Does anyone know why tik tok data is getting stolen?
I thought they would be looking for intelligence.....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The most embarrassing thing that can happen to a data scientist...
Is p**... extrapolation.
NSA's pick up lines:
"Did you fall from heaven? Because there's no tracking data on how you arrived at this location" "I'd tap that" "I know exactly where you have been all my life"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... in high school is like big data
Everybody talks about it but nobody knows what it is
Do you know why they called it TikTok?
Cos in just a matter of seconds it steals all your data!
My LGBTQ+ programmer friend told me they were having trouble with some data inputs the other day...
I think it's because they're non-binary
