Dashboard Jokes
40 dashboard jokes and hilarious dashboard puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dashboard that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Dashboard Short Jokes
Short dashboard jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dashboard humour may include short desk jokes also.
- Did you hear about Paul Walker on the radio? And the dashboard and pretty much the rest of the interior
- Princess Dianna was on the radio the night she died. And the steering wheel, and the dashboard, and the windshield...
- I just added Princess Diana to my xbox friends list. I don't think she has any games though, all she does is spend all day on the dashboard...
- A new conspiracy theory states Priness Diana was actually on the radio shortly after the supposed accident that killed her. And the windshield, and the dashboard...
^^^I ^^^feel ^^^dirty - Did you hear that Paul Walker plays a lot of Xbox? But he mostly spends all his time on dashboard
- When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
This is one of late my uncle's, 9 times out of 10 I think of him when I see the light on the dashboard - I've put the money attracting talisman my gf gave me on the dashboard of my car I had a head-on with an armored bank truck the next day.
- Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died? She was on the radio, and the dashboard, and the hood.
- I bought Paul Walker an xbox... so that I could play with him but he spends most of his time on the dashboard.
- What's the similarity between Paul walker and my computer? They are both stuck on the dashboard
Share These Dashboard Jokes With Friends
Dashboard One Liners
Which dashboard one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dashboard? I can suggest the ones about panel and driver.
- I added Paul Walker on Xbox, but he spends all his time on the dashboard.
- So I saw that Princess Diana is trending on tumblr. She's all over the dashboard!
- What was Princess Diana's favorite thing about the Xbox 360? The dashboard.
- why cant Paul Walker use tumblr? He only sticks to the dashboard
- What was princess Diana's favourite song? Paradise by the dashboard light
- What shampoo did Paul Walker use? Head and shoulders, they were on the dashboard
- Paul Walker has been all over the radio recently And also the dashboard and seats.
- They should make a Paul Walker satnav... he's used to being on the dashboard.
Hilarious Fun Dashboard Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about dashboard you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean monitor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dashboard pranks.
What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana's head before she died?
The Dashboard
Silly Drunks.
A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had been in his car.
"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice on the line.
"Nevermind," he said with a hiccup. "I got in the back seat by mistake."
Four musicians and a drummer walk into a bar. (Drummer jokes!)
How do you know when a drummer is at your door?
*The knocking speeds up and he doesn't know where to come in.*
How do you get the drummer away from your door?
*Pay for the pizza.*
What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
*Gifted.*
Why did the bassist keep drumsticks on his dashboard?
*So he could park in the handicap spot.*
What's the difference between a drummer and a pizza?
*A pizza can feed a family of four.*
How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
*Ten: one to change it, and nine to say how Neil Peart would have done it better*.
Sentry
A new soldier was posted guard at the gate to the American Base in Afghanistan. His orders were clear: All vehicles had to stop to show ID unless it had a special placard on the dashboard inside the windshield.
A black SUV came up with a general seated in the back. The car did not immediately stop, intending to drive through the gate area.
The sentry yelled at the drive to stop, almost getting run over as he jumped in front of the car.
The driver, a corporal, said, "I've got General Wheeler in the back."
"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. Since you don't have a sign on your dashboard, I have to see some ID."
The general said, "Drive on!"
The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without showing ID."
The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"
The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"
A fine wine
The Navajo woman accepted my offer of a lift to the reservation, but didn't seem inclined to say much more. I noticed a look of ill-disguised disapproval as she got in the car, lingering for a moment on my exposed cleavage, but that was all – she gazed stonily ahead while the car pulled away, leaving a trail of hot Nevada dust in the rear view mirror.
After a few failed attempts at small talk, and my knowledge of her culture exhausted, I kept quiet, and concentrated instead on the evening ahead: a quick bath before Jim returned from work, followed by a dinner with Michael, his boss, at Bon Vivant, the new French restaurant.
The Navajo woman eyed the silk-wrapped bottle of expensive Cabernet Sauvignon I'd bought, as it rattled gently on the dashboard, and said, 'What is in parcel?'
Though a bit surprised by her directness, I was pleased at the conversation, and I replied, 'A bottle of wine – I got it for my husband.'
She nodded thoughtfully, seeming to approve, and then replied, 'A good trade.'
A most horrible occurrence.
A man runs into a gas station, obviously very flustered. The attendant asks "You look like you've seen a ghost. What happened?" The man looks at the attendant and says, in a very shaky voice, "It's horrible. Someone just broke into my car when I came in to pay for my gas a minute ago." The attendant says "Oh my." The man continues, losing more coherence as he speaks "I had a ticket to the Lions game on Sunday sitting on the dashboard..." The attendant asks "Did they take your ticket?" The man says, barely able to speak at this point, "No, worse. They left another one there."
A man was out of gas on the side of the road...
A man was pulled over on the side of the road, out of gas and stranded. He rolled down his window and a bee flew in. It landed on his dashboard and asked, "Why are you pulled over?"
"I'm out of gas", said the man.
"Alright, just wait right here", said the bee. It flew away and returned a few minutes later with a whole swarm of bees. The bees flew into his gas tank and, a few minutes later, flew back out. "Try it now", said the bee.
The man turned his keys in the ignition and the car started. "Wow!", he exclaimed, "What did you put in my gas tank?"
The bee replied, "BP"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Cleveland Cavaliers fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
So they can park in handicap spaces!
GRAND THEFT AUTO
A blonde get's in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. She calls the police and reports a theft. When the police officer comes, he looks at the blonde who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
A penguin was driving when he noticed the warning light on his dashboard light up...
He limped the car to the nearest garage. The mechanic said it may take a while to fix and so to come back later.
So the penguin went out and took in the sights. Whilst he was there he decided to get an ice cream. However, only having flippers, he couldn't hold the ice cream very well and made a mess as he tried to eat it.
Later, the penguin goes back to the mechanic. He looks up at the penguin and says "It looks like you've blown a seal."
"Oh no" replied the penguin, "this is just ice cream!"
There is a conspiracy theory that claims Princess Diana was on the radio after her reported death.
I'd like to confirm this was completely true, she WAS on the radio, and the dashboard, the steering wheel, the back of the seats and the windscreen.
A drunk calls the police, and says,
"They stole my dashboard, they stole my steering wheel, they stole my brake pedal, they even stole my gas pedal.."
Then, before the cops can ask where he is, he says, "Hey, never mind, I'm in the back seat"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two guys in a helicopter are crossing a mountain range when the rotor breaks and the chopper is going to c**....
As they are falling to their certain death, the pilot calmly reaches to his pocket and pulls out a bright red lipstick. He puts lipstick on, then tears the steering wheel out of the dashboard and shoves it up his a**.... Passenger looks at the pilot in horror and shouts "what the h**... are you doing, we are going to die!" Pilot quietly answers "there's nothing we can do, I'm just giving the c**... investigators something to think about."
My wife asked me to name Meatloaf's top 3 songs… I named Paradise by the Dashboard Light and I'd do anything for love … but then couldn't come up with another one.
But hey, two out of three ain't bad.
